I’m the type that never allows me the right to make mistakes, to make a lot of reproaches or virulent criticism. Strangely, I have long believed that being tough with myself was a strength of character and quality that pulled me up.
But now, it turns out that it was a perfect illusion. These negative thoughts, this auto flagellation have often led me into anguish, depression and have been the cause of some failures. It is for this reason that it is urgent to learn to be benevolent with oneself.
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TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER
If I like books and articles about personal development, it’s because they help me understand how humans work, and therefore how I work. Understanding yourself will inevitably help you be more forgiving to yourself. For example, in coming to discern why you do not support failure, you will not only relativize when it happens to you but also you will know how to control this reaction.
The book that particularly helped me is “5 wounds that prevent yourself from being” by Lise Bourbeau. Through these lines, you will discover a multitude of things about you and even about your surroundings.
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FORGIVE
When I say forgive, I mean to forgive myself. Do not be easy! There is not really a magic formula to get there. On the other hand, I can tell you that all humans make mistakes, and the mistakes you have made do not make you a bad person. You must make peace with the past, do not dwell on your mistakes but learn from them to be a better version of yourself.
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KNOW YOUR QUALITIES
it is essential to become aware of who you are, and what you are worth. Every human being has qualities. You must know the good things in you, and you must be proud of them. Do not minimize what you do well.
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THE BENEVOLENT FRIEND
This is a person that I appreciate a lot that one day suggested to me to see my situation from the outside. Basically, if your best friend was in your place you would tell him what? One is often more indulgent with others than with oneself. So transposing your situation to someone you love can help you take a step back. But especially to postpone the compassion that you would have had for this person to yourself. You need to learn to be your own caring friend.
