3 parent’s sentences that destroy children’s self-esteem

A good self-esteem is one of the best gifts you can give your child. He will feel loved, happy and fulfilled as he grows up. In adulthood, he will have gained confidence and a positive self-image, prompting him to make the right choices in his life. On the other hand, a child who suffers from low self-esteem will be weakened and devoid of all confidence, without the possibility of moving forward and propelling himself into a promising future. To be born and to grow up, we take stock of the behaviors of the parents which can harm the good psychological development of their child.

Some parents, thinking well, may behave in ways that may affect their child’s self-esteem. Words, acts or modes of expression, have as much power over the adult of tomorrow, whether for better or for worse. However, it is easy to notice early if the child is comfortable or not.

According to KidsHelth, self-esteem is paramount as the child feels confident to try new experiences and things in his life while feeling confidence and pride in what he undertakes. The failure of the beginning is widely accepted and success follows its normal course in all areas, whether professional or personal.

On the other hand, low self-esteem is a stumbling block to any psychic or interpersonal development. Failure becomes a barrier to good insurance, resulting in discouragement and inhibition of new attempts.

In order to avoid this psychological handicap for your child, there are three things that it is important to avoid doing.

“You’re bad” The verbal abuse

The power of words has considerable psychological consequences for the child whose after-effects result in emotional damage that can ensue. Thus, verbal abuse is as harmful as physical abuse. Our thoughts, when they are not yet expressed, are not yet harmful. Also, before externalizing them, it is necessary to think about how to express them in the most subtle way possible so that our words remain constructive and not harmful or humiliating for the child. 

Reprimands can be positive, but if they are abusive, they cause pains that remain etched in the child’s memory. The latter dragged them throughout its development with consequent low self-esteem. And often to find the support he has missed, this child in search of love can either turn to third parties who are not able to provide him with the fulfillment he needs, or even inflict the same pain on him. other people and therefore become an inveterate persecutor.

“Your brother is better than you”  Comparison with brothers and sisters

It is often degrading for a child to be compared to his brother or sister when it comes to skills of all kinds. For some parents, this behavior would be normal in order to encourage the child to make progress, but often it causes the opposite effect since the latter could feel a certain decrease thinking that it is good for nothing and that he can never be up to it. 

Also, instead of comparing your child with his siblings, it would be better to verbally encourage him to develop his intrinsic qualities and to congratulate him for the efforts he provides in order to gain the confidence he needs to develop his own personality, since after all, we are all unique in our kind.

Bad communication with the child

Messages sent to the child must be verbalized with positive language; the goal is to create a climate of harmony with his child. Also, it is possible to resort to the message “I” which refers to the feeling of parents in relation to an inappropriate behavior of the child, without judgment or accusation: “When you do not tidy your room, it disappoints me because I have a thousand things to do and I would like you to be more cooperative. ” 

In addition, it is important not to tell your child that you would like him to do something for you. He could feel this as emotional blackmail and think you do not like him unconditionally.

Thus, it is important to appreciate one’s child’s worth, to avoid scolding him with harsh words and knowing how to communicate with him in the most insightful way possible. The most important thing is to know how to be a good model for your child and to work on your own self-esteem so that it can be inspired.