Are you experiencing a relationship storm? Do you feel like you are going through a real emotional tidal wave? However, at first, everything seemed idyllic, perfect, too perfect no doubt. Compliments, attentions, sympathy, you let yourself be taken in by these manifestations and demonstrations of kindness, you felt fulfilled until your partner gradually revealed to you another facet of his personality, darker, obscure to make your living hell.
10 Abusive, Unhealthy, and Harmful Behaviors That Are Not Love. Because it is not only the blows and the cries which belong to these abusive relations. Indeed, violence, insidious, can take different forms, including economic, s**xual, or psychological. Learn to read the signs.
1- flattery and gifts
Do you have the impression that he considers you the seventh wonder of the world, that nothing is too good for you? Are you drowning in gifts and he keeps complimenting you, telling you that you are the most beautiful?
Beware, this kind of overly flattering attitude can mask the start of a toxic relationship. It is a way of creating a bond, of attracting its prey in its nets. Ask yourself questions. It all seems a little too perfect to be true. Sideways flattery and multiple freebies are one way to bait you.
2- dependence
Does he make you believe that without him you are not capable of anything? That if you leave him, you will find yourself without a job, that in any case, you do not know how to do anything and that therefore you need him financially? It creates emotional dependence. A vicious circle familiar to the victims of these abusers!
Indeed, the latter live in this permanent illusion of owing everything to their husbands and of having to be grateful for what it brings them: comfort and a certain financial security. Nothing to do with love, since the abuser in question is delighted with this dominant situation in which he has power and control.
3- handling
Does your partner go out, cheat on you, or even go so far as to bring other women into your house and before your eyes, taunting you? Lies, anger, insults, disrespect, infidelity, you forgive everything, including the unacceptable. The worst part is that you constantly make excuses for him. “It’s because he loves me” or “it’s because he is distressed at the moment”. The abuser manipulates you to give you the worst nightmares. Which proves he doesn’t care about you.
4- Denigration
In the evening, in front of your friends, in family, your partner has an annoying tendency to devalue you and to criticize you openly, taking others to party? The result: You always end up in tears, feeling denigrated, humiliated, and belittled. That’s what he’s looking for. The abuser loves these kinds of situations. He never misses an opportunity to put you down: you drive badly, you don’t want s**x, the groceries are too expensive, your shoes are not nice….
5- jealousy and possession
Your partner makes you scenes for a yes and a no? Do you receive an SMS from your colleague? Do you come home late from work because you have late files to complete? In short, it’s the same scenario!
Your companion goes crazy, yells at you, breaks the dishes, tells you that “you belong to him”! It monitors the slightest of your calls, even has you followed by a detective or a drone to track you! But it is trust that must be the basis of a healthy relationship.
6- guilt
The professional abuser knows how to turn the situation against you! Whatever your actions, the reactions you trigger in him are never his fault, but yours. He is annoyed because you got out too late, he doesn’t lie, it’s you who don’t listen to him … By dint of hearing this kind of sentences, you lose confidence in yourself and enter the infernal spiral of guilt.
7- Imprisonment
True love requires compromise. In a couple who get along well, everyone has the right to have activities on their own to flourish. If you don’t feel free, that you have to go into hiding to shop or see a girlfriend, then your relationship is not healthy. You make all of your decisions based on your partner’s reactions until you lose your autonomy.
8- Blackmail
There too, some abusers are masters in this area, making you bow. If you love me, then you can do that for me. In the end, you obey these injunctions, otherwise, your partner threatens you and may even go as far as blackmail to suicide. In order not to have his “death” on your conscience, you prefer to accede to his requests.
9- incapacity
You threaten your partner to leave him because his behavior is overwhelming you and you are no longer in love. And there, he draws the shocking sentence: “You will never find someone like me”, giving you the impression that he is unique and the only man on earth who can satisfy you. Of course, you can, one day you can meet a man who will appreciate you for who you really are and for your worth.
10- The perversity
S**xual perversity is not love. If your partner demands of you attitudes, s**xual positions that you hate, and that he constrains you, you enter into a relationship that has nothing to do with tenderness. Does he force you to practice sodomy when you hate it, force you when you are tired? It can be like rape. You are not his s**xual thing and you can claim your rights.
