Are you afraid of love? You’re not alone!
Love is a blessing, if you find it, take it. For some people, love is a scary word and it is usually due to their past experience or because this word does not match their surroundings quite well. Our fears for love manifest themselves in different ways or they manifest themselves at a different stage of a relationship, but we all harbor defense to protect ourselves from being hurt. If you are also afraid of love, you are not suffering from a phobia, you are only protecting yourself from going through the pain again. Love can be very important to some of us. If you are afraid of love, you need to hear this. The tower you build for yourself doesn’t always protect you. Sometimes it takes you away from the people you want most or the love that can change your life. In fact, it can take you away from the love you want the most, But you’re too scared to reach it Believe it or not, it’s those people who need love the most because once they have love, they don’t take it for granted.
Why are you afraid of love?
We all have our own reasons for walking away from love, but typically, here are 10 common reasons why you don’t want to fall in love with someone:
1. Makes you feel vulnerable
If you are afraid of love, it means that you are afraid of the unknown. It is true, falling in love is a great risk because you have to trust the other person a lot, which means that you are allowing them to affect you. This can make you feel vulnerable. You may need to give up some long-established habits to protect yourself. The more you worry, the more you will hurt yourself. For some people, opening up completely to a new person means that they have to be vulnerable and they don’t want to do that. Yes, it can be scary when you’ve never loved before, but it’s also true that the right people will never hurt you.
2. Raise up some bitter past experiences
Some people withdraw from love because of the pain that previous relationships caused them. This is not just the pain of a former partner, but something bitter that happened in their childhood. Everything that happened in your past can have a great influence on how you act in a romantic relationship. Hence why you can walk away from love and intimacy, to begin with.
3. You are afraid of heartbreak after love
Everyone is afraid of falling and getting hurt. But it doesn’t always have to be bad when someone loves you. If we were all afraid of being hurt by the hands of the people we love, we would be a little nice to each other, wouldn’t we? Give it a try and you will realize that love is worth it (sometimes).
4. You feel that love can be uneven
He may hesitate to get involved with someone because he likes you too much. You feel that if you get involved with such a person, you may not love them as much as they do and you may end up hurt or feel rejected. It can also be the opposite scenario. Some people are afraid of love just because they think the other person doesn’t feel the same way about them. To be honest, love is a bit off balance. Our feelings for the people we love to keep changing. At one point you may be angry with them and at the other, you may be deeply in love with them. The best way to overcome this is to be open about how you feel. Who knows that love that you are too afraid to accept can change your life.
5. Your relationship with those close to you will change
Yes, when you fall in love with someone, it changes your relationship with the people close to you. No matter how much you say that love won’t change you, it always does. Being in a relationship with someone you love can take a long time, and because of this, you may not be able to spend time with your friends or family like you used to. Some people stay away from love for exactly the same reason. They don’t want to leave their friends and family behind. But things don’t have to be this way if your partner understands that you love and value other people besides them.
6. You don’t want to give up your personal space
Some people love their personal space so much that they start to have a love phobia. It’s great to come home after a long day at work and crawl into bed without worrying about anyone. But does it stop you from falling in love? Does it make you feel like you won’t have alone time anymore? If this is what you are feeling right now, you need to relax. You shouldn’t think that far. Don’t let these thoughts stop you from doing something great. Get out, give love a chance.
7. With joy comes pain
Who says that love goes to a bed of roses. There are some people who whenever they experience something truly joyful on an emotional level, also begin to feel sad. These people turn away from love and the things that make them happy because these are the things that can also make us feel sad. Remember, just as roses have thorns, with love there is also some pain.
8. You are afraid because it is difficult for you to trust people
It may be that trusting others is difficult for you and it always gets in the way of love. These people only trust a few close ones like friends or family. When they meet someone new, the phobia of love hits them. They believe that this person will ruin them in some way and they do not want to fall into the same love trap again. But think about it, how can you tell someone that they are not trustworthy if you don’t even give them a chance to love you?
9. You don’t want to be miserable like other couples
Have you seen couples who were once in love but now they just can’t stand each other? Does that make you feel like love isn’t a real thing because it fades over time? Well, nobody wants to end up miserable, but if you really don’t give love a chance, how do you know that you’ll be like other miserable couples? You are going to fight because everyone fights. Again, just because you see bad relationships around you, it doesn’t mean that your love will end like this too. Let’s say you have witnessed couples in your family circle or friends who are unhappy in their relationship. Instead of running away from love, why not learn from their experience and avoid the mistakes they made in their relationship? Don’t let love phobia stop you from even trying to love someone. Love is the best feeling of all time, you know that.
10. You worry too much about the future
Some people are afraid of love because they worry too much about the future. These people have an uncontrollable tendency to think about their past and future. They can’t help but make the situation worse by thinking too much about what will and won’t happen, and therefore they say they don’t want love. Visualizing the future is not a bad thing, but overthinking can kill the joy of the moment.
How to change and accept?
Now that you’ve read the reasons why you should stay away from love, the burning question is how do you not let this love phobia get you? How to trust someone, how to face your fears and love again? Here are some tips:
Be aware of why you are afraid of love?
You really can’t fix anything if you don’t even know what’s wrong. So the first thing you need to do is find the answer to why you are afraid of love. For example, some people have independent personalities and they are that way because they were the only person they could trust. They had taught themselves to be self-sufficient and therefore they are not open to anyone or ready for love. They are afraid of being vulnerable. Independent people avoid intimacy without even realizing it. To give love another chance, you need to be more aware of your partner’s needs and value mutual understanding. If you want to be intimate, you must be vulnerable. You must learn to leave your armor for the right people and accept their love.
Some people don’t want to appear needy and therefore don’t express themselves much. Well, in love and relationship, you have to be expressive. As much as you are afraid of how things will turn out, you must be honest with yourself. You can talk about your feelings with the person you love or write them in a journal. If you are really struggling with your thoughts, consulting a counselor is recommended. Don’t let your fears about love keep you from a great person and ruin your relationship.
Learn to communicate
When you are in love, it is natural to be afraid, but that does not mean that you do not even communicate with your partner. The next thing you need to work on is open communication. If you fear that your partner will leave you, they will not love you as you love them or you do not want to leave your family behind, etc., then let them know. Maybe you can find a way to deal with these problems. To be honest, if the person you love is understanding and trustworthy, communicating with them automatically will be easy.
Read some love sayings
Read these sayings, you might be inspired to give love another chance: ‘This is the only happiness in life; love and be loved.’ “A flower cannot bloom without sunlight and a man cannot live without love.” You can find more beautiful sayings above love and take one step at a time to accept the change in your life.
It is important that you take ownership of your unhealthy patterns that prevent you from love and intimacy. You have to accept the idea that you don’t have to go through the ups and downs of life alone, you also need love. If you let go of fear and believe that you are worthy of love, you are giving yourself the best gift of all time. Once you do that, you won’t need any love sayings to appreciate what you have.