Here are some things that may indicate you’re probably not really in love.
1. If you have a lot of questions. If you can’t decide if you love someone and wonder if you love them every day, the answer is probably no.
2. You are more concerned with what dreams this person might help you achieve in the future than with how you feel when you spend time with them here and now. Just because you see someone as a suitable option for having the child that you’ve always wanted doesn’t mean that you actually love them.
3. You wait for it to change. Whether he grows up, gets another level of education, earns more money … there is always a “but” and “when” when explaining why you love him.
4. You constantly think: is this really it? Is this what I have been hoping for and waiting for all this time?
5. You don’t think you could do better, and you’re not ready to try.
6. Differences cause more conflict than growth. Love is about bringing two lives together in harmony, learning, and supporting each other. Not the contrary.
7. You have no interest in working on problems to solve them, you know that is what you are supposed to do, but for some reason, you don’t.
8. You are much more concerned with what other people think of the person than your own opinion of them. You are easily swayed by what other people say, and that comes to the fore – a sign that you stick with what the relationship does for you from an outside perspective.
9. The more he opens up to you, the more you are put off by his little quirks and nuances. You don’t have to be wowed by every little thing someone does, even if it’s not completely unusual. But if you’re continually put off, it’s not love.
10. The majority of relationships fail because one or both partners have made up their minds to find something specific: companionship, admiration, etc. When they no longer received what they were looking for, they left, or at least they wanted to. We would classify this as ‘conditional love’, or in other words, it’s a sign that you don’t like someone because you are with because you expect something from them.