Human beings are true masters of the art of self-deception. We can have the truth dancing naked in our faces and we refuse to see it. It is normal. There are some scenarios that seem so devastating to us that we don’t even allow ourselves to think about it.
And more in the case of love relationships, how do you know if your partner wants to leave you, if it is impossible for you to think about it without panicking?
The other side of the coin, and in which some of us are also quite talented, is paranoia. Everything may be in perfect order, but the suspicion, perhaps unfounded, continues to appear in our heads that our partner is about to finish us.
Fortunately for the avoidant and paranoid, there are some pretty clear signs that anticipate the (unintentional on our part) ending of a relationship. Read carefully so that you can detect them, and anticipate the worst or prepare an action plan so as not to lose the loved one.
1.- You feel like they avoid you
Okay, it is perfectly normal for your partner to go through a strange streak of eventualities that prevent him from going to commitments with you for a few times in a row. But when that becomes a constant, you have to turn on the red flags.
One of the most effective ways to tell if your partner is truly going through a particularly busy streak, or is just avoiding you, is to analyze their reaction when they finally see each other.
If there is no particular enthusiasm derived from a longer period than usual without seeing each other, something is wrong. Breaking up with a person is very difficult, and there are those who prefer to avoid or delay the moment as much as possible.
2.- They stop making comments that imply that the relationship will continue
If when you bring up the plans to spend together next summer at your parents’ beach house, you crash with an uncomfortable silence, better find out why.
People, for some mysterious reason, consider in their hearts that omitting information is less bad than lying.
So they won’t tell you up front that they have no intention of continuing to date you until next summer. But they won’t tell you head-on either for exactly the same reason we saw in the previous point.
3.- They have stopped trying
If you suddenly find that all responsibility for the relationship now seems to fall on your shoulders, you should analyze why.
Perhaps it has been such a gradual change that you have not noticed it, but are you always the one who initiates the conversations? the messages? The contact in general? If your partner does not make the slightest effort to show you that he cares, they are either about to leave you or you are in a frankly unhealthy relationship.
Another red flag is to notice that the details that you used to have with you, have completely ceased to exist.
4.- They put their friends first
There is a reason why we say partner to partner and friends to friends. And it is a very simple reason. The couple goes first.
If you notice that your loved one seems to be more fond of and attached to Saturday soccer with his gang, it may be a bad sign.
Many guys are more dependent on spending time with their friends than they want to admit, and that’s normal. But if all time is for them, then your relationship doesn’t have much of a future.
5.- They do not feel more intimate with each other
If the intimacy in your relationship seems to have been replaced by food or casual talk, it is probably reaching a point of decline.
Two people can get along very well and be great friends. But if intimacy is lost, sooner or later one of them will go looking for that same intimacy elsewhere.
6.- It seems that they keep secrets
This is a red light. Why avoid calls when he is with you? or what need is there to make excuses about where or with whom you were?
One of the fundamental pillars of a relationship is trust and honesty. And one of the most frequent causes of these disappearing is a third party on the scene.
7.- They threaten to leave you
This is a game that no one should allow their partner to play. Threatening a breakup is one of the worst forms of manipulation and blackmail out there.
If your partner is one of those who threatens to break up at any provocation. Be smart and take him at his word. Seriously, you deserve better.
8.- They look for excuses to fight with you
As breaking up is complex, some people, in their head, consider that it will be easier if they come up with a reason that has to do with you. So they will do the impossible to generate a fight that will take you out of your boxes and give them a “reason” to finish.
9.- They close the communication
Use the magic formula. It is very simple, the rule says that for every 10 contact attempts, say calls or messages, if you respond to less than 7, something is very wrong, and not exactly the signal from your phone.
10.- You feel that they do not appreciate you
If nothing you do seems to be worthy of attention or recognition, it is a sign that the other person is looking or a pretext to leave you, or that he is simply a jerk and you should stay away.
Do not let yourself be manipulated. There is no sick relationship that is worth it. Really. Rarely do these signs appear and the relationship is still worth fighting for.
But most of the time what actually happens is that you are with a cowardly, dishonest and advantageous person. Use your emotional intelligence.
The question is not how do you know if your partner wants to leave you? but is it really worth retaining? Value yourself and consider that no matter how difficult it is, you will always be worth gold for who you are and a relationship that ends is not the end of the universe.