10 things you learn when you are engaged in a healthy relationship

When we were younger, we thought relationships were full of that old-fashioned romantic perfection. We forget that in real life, relationships are not those that dot romantic comedies with Katherine Heigl, and that Heath Ledger will never sing “You’re just too good to be true” in serenade. In real life, relationships require a lot of patience and understanding, not whole pages of quotes that will make us end up with a box of tissues.

1. The messages to say hello / good evening are the best.

It may be silly and easy, but the messages to say hello and good evening have been proven to be concentrates of good humor. When we are in a relationship , we realize that our day will not be complete without this romantic and elaborate or simple but sweet message sent by our partner to say hello or good evening.

2. We have to make sure that we miss the other.

Distance is not always a bad thing. Spending most of your time together can be a cause of breakdown. It is good to give the other space to breathe, because we also need to spend time with ourselves. The distance is a challenge for the couple, but it also makes it possible to realize that it is pleasant to miss the other.

3. Finding compromises is not a sign of weakness.

“It is not the rainbows and the butterflies, but the compromises that take us through time. “ We must reach an agreement. It’s not just about what you want. You will learn to understand and be open to the needs and desires of the other. It’s what you two want and how you two get it.

4. One cannot “fix” the other.

We are in a relationship with each other because we accepted him for what he is – his dreams, his frustrations and his annoying manias. When you are in a relationship, you learn that you cannot “fix” the other and that you have to let him be … If you try to transform him into the person you would like him to become , maybe he’s not the one you should date.

5. Being comfortable with others is not scary.

You will learn to open up more with the other, because that is what a couple relationship is. We are ourselves with him and he will not judge us for that. If you need to go to the bathroom, tell him! Being comfortable is not scary, it is a sign of your commitment.

6. Misunderstandings are inevitable.

The perfect relationship does not exist. To say that people strive for perfection is a mistake. Whatever happens, you will argue. The absence of arguments is not healthy, since they show us how much we want our relationship to work. We cannot agree on everything. It’s bullshit. Disputes are only unhealthy if they occur daily and for irrational things.

7. You have to lower your expectations.

It’s not all about you. You must realize that disappointments are most often caused by expectations that are too high. Being in a relationship teaches us to become more realistic, understanding and patient. Your relationship is not a movie. He is neither Patrick Dempsey nor Guillaume Canet. And you’re not just a girl standing in front of a boy and waiting for him to love you. Your relationship is real; there are neither scenes nor casting, you have no script and what you do will only have consequences for the next two hours – but for the time you choose.

8. Stop being paranoid and trust it.

Stop thinking too much , he’s not hiding anything from you. You have to start believing in him, because when you can’t do it, he too suffers. Trust is one of the most difficult things to give, gain and put into practice when you are in a relationship. But little by little, you will learn to trust. Trusting someone is like loving them.

9. You will learn to show him how you feel.

It is easy to make promises and say that you will always be there for him. When you are in a relationship, words are only words. The important thing is your way of showing him and making him feel your love. It’s your way of hugging him tightly after a hard day, it’s your way of kissing him on the forehead when he’s worried, it’s your sincere laughter at his stupid jokes, it’s your way of him massage the back when he is in pain. It’s the little things that count. It is not the care you take to tell him that you love him. It’s your way of showing it to him; the way you make him feel it.

10. And finally, everything is a question of balance.

It is difficult to do all this and to know how much exact love to give to the other. Human beings love things they have a hard time defining. It’s not like there is a formula for the perfect relationship, or certain ingredients to add to make a relationship work. Everything is a question of balance.