A breakup can be very badly lived, and leave one or both partners in disarray. Love is not always explained, and feelings can last over time, and even long after the breakup. How can you win back your ex?
Adopt the right mindset
The reconquest in love requires presenting an adapted state of mind. It should not be done for the wrong reasons. Determine how you feel about this person, and try to hang on to it for the best conditions. If your attitude is not adapted, you can never win back your ex. It will, therefore, be necessary to regain sufficient mental and physical strength to face hard knocks and show patience.
Indeed, winning back a person is not a snap of the fingers. It can take some time. Missing your ex and making him regret the breakup is a long and tedious job. During this time, you are likely to experience some ups and downs. You have to show yourself ready to face the situation and react accordingly, but also to take hard knocks. If you go about it with patience and tact, this winback operation could end in a happy ending for your couple.
Do not venture into the path of the ultimatum
Asking an ultimatum to a person means forcing them to make a decision that they may not be ready to make. This solution never works in the life of a couple. In the context of a reconquest, it can have negative consequences on your objectives. Especially since the answer to your ultimatum may not satisfy you. Ask an ultimatum and come back to it when the decision is not satisfactory is one of the worst actions to take to win back your ex.
Rather, you will need to take concrete actions, which are not based on coercion. Each of these actions is important. Together, they improve the relationship with your ex, even if there are no hard and fast rules. Prepare for a cold welcome, especially if your intentions are clear from the first exchanges. As you can imagine, giving an ultimatum at such a time is the worst thing to do.
Don’t reveal your feelings too quickly
If your goal is to win this person back, then don’t be too quick to expose your intentions and feelings to them. Don’t tell her that you still love her, or that you want to win her back. In the area of reconquest, it is necessary to let doubt hang, at least during the first times. Take your time and let doubt settle on your intentions. Don’t just talk about the best moments spent together: too much nostalgia could clearly make him understand your ideas, and scare away the person you want to win back.
During this phase of reconquest, it will be necessary to show patience. It is even of capital importance. It is very likely that the feelings experienced by the other are not as strong as yours. Reviving them takes time and will require a lot of effort.
Highlight your assets and strengths
If this person fell in love with you, it is because certain things in you touched him and pleased him. It can be character traits, ideas, humor, your physique, and much more. As a general rule, in a couple, we discuss what we like, and what we like less about the other. You should probably already know what she liked about you, and what other people like in general.
So don’t fret over your faults, and focus on your strengths. They are always present in you, even if you are probably the best person to point them out to you. Question those around you and ask them to answer your questions sincerely. Your loved ones will help you highlight your assets and then work on them.
Work on your faults
Has your ex made comments to you about behaviors or habits that displeased him? You have the opportunity to work on these points. But beware, you must not change what you are only to please a person. Especially since the latter loved you for what you are. You don’t have to try to change your personality to please again. It never works for very long, and keeps you from being yourself under any circumstances.
Are you a bad cook? Charm your ex by taking some cooking lessons! Do you usually leave your socks lying around? Get into the habit of putting them in the basket of dirty laundry. These small improvements are quickly perceived by people who know us very well, like our ex.
Make real efforts
Words can count in a relationship, but they are nothing if actions aren’t enough to back them up. They are the ones who have a real impact on others, and a value. Your ex may have ended your relationship because your actions were not in line with your words. Much of our trust is based on our ability to keep this word and our promises. If you intend to win someone back, make sure you always stick to your ideas.
If a relationship hasn’t worked, there are real reasons behind it. Wanting to start all over again by making the same mistakes is like stepping back to jump better. Be really ready to make the effort that is expected of you. If not, your win back may not be successful.
Repeat as if it were the first time.
Even if you know your ex by heart, don’t go back to your old relationship. A relationship should always be unique, and be built on solid foundations. Trust, sharing, support, mutual aid, understanding, patience… This mutual benevolence should not be stained by the failures of the previous relationship. Don’t blame each other for past mistakes. As their name suggests, these are a thing of the past and you are aiming for the future.
Act as if you are discovering this person for the first time. Be genuinely interested in what she can tell you about her, her desires, what she is looking for, and what she expects from her partner. A new relationship between two ex-companions can be completely new, and leave past failures aside. It is up to you to do what is necessary for this novelty to emerge.
Don’t be jealous
Your ex may have a past in love and be in a new relationship. He or she may also have known other people in the meantime. If you show jealousy, you will reveal your intentions early in your conversation, and all could be lost. In addition, being jealous of a person with whom one does not share a relationship is often very frowned upon by the other. Your ex might be reluctant to get involved in a relationship with someone who is jealous.
Therefore, do not question your ex too much about his romantic past, and the people he or she associates with. You certainly don’t need to know the details. In addition, at the start of a new relationship, our partner has usually experienced several love stories. We have no choice but to accept them. Showing jealousy does nothing positive.
Forget the incredible strategies
You want to win back your ex, but you don’t know how to go about it. Do not develop complex or Machiavellian strategies to achieve this. Love should never be based on manipulation or strategy. Don’t get into another relationship you don’t want to make your ex jealous or jealous, it doesn’t always work. Also, don’t try to hang out with friends or family just to see him or her more often. All these attempts are badly perceived and often badly experienced by the other.
You already liked him. This person loved you for who you are. Staying yourself is the best way to win back your ex. Do not try to change at all, or to become a person that you are not. Stay honest, loyal to yourself in all circumstances. Your ex may not want to invest in a previous relationship again. Not everyone thinks that getting back together with their ex is a good idea. Stay natural and don’t try to convince your ex by any means. Too much emphasis never pays off.
Winning back your ex will certainly be long and strewn with obstacles. If you really want to get back together with this person, you will need to be patient and multiply your efforts. But if nothing works, you’ll have to face the facts: for your ex, your story is definitely over.