Here are ten tips to help you deal with the turmoil and pain of ending a relationship.
My wish for you is that you will never have to use them.
1 . Cry As Much As You Want.
Let the tears flow, it is healthy that you are releasing sadness and pain.
You may be afraid to start because you are afraid of never stopping, but you will.
2 . Do Something Every Day for the healing process.
Exercise, read, watch some self-help YouTube videos, learn to meditate, and never underestimate the power of positive prayer.
Choose things that you know will be fun or beneficial and do them.
Don’t wait to get excited to take action, take one action and then take another.
3 . Find Emotional Support.
There are several groups for newly singles (more women than men).
Just don’t try to resist or go it alone, support from other people is healing, even if those people never become close friends.
4 . Don’t Be A Doormat.
If your future or future ex keeps calling you or just won’t leave (or move), tell him/her that you can’t heal with him/her around and ask him/her to keep your distance.
If your ex is harassing or threatening, it’s best to contact the authorities for information and advice.
5 . Keep Yourself Busy.
If you wake up early, go for a walk, go out for breakfast or do something around the house.
Try a little “shopping therapy” (going shopping) or go to the movies in the middle of the day.
Many companies allow their employees to take “mental health days” if necessary.
If you can’t sleep, do crossword puzzles, read or watch TV.
Don’t sit in your room ruminating, you have to free your mind so your heart can heal.
6 . Don’t Try To Mask Your Pain By Trying To Find A Replacement.
We all know the term rebound dating or “recovery relationship”.
They happen when we (unconsciously) use another person to fill the gap that was created by the end of a relationship.
These transient connections can heal in the short term, but if you don’t process your pain properly, you won’t be able to be in a fully committed partnership.
7 . Don’t Spend Too Much Time Alone.
Hang out with friends or make new friends, go for coffee with someone you can chat with, volunteer in your community.
You’ll need some alone time, but if you isolate yourself, you won’t be able to fully process your feelings or get the support you need to heal.
8 . Trust Your Feelings.
Even if you’ve been taken aback by the breakup, your inner voice is telling you something.
Listen carefully and you will know that everything will be fine.
You just have to let your feelings guide you.
9 . Take your time.
Don’t rush out and buy a new car or move to a new house or another city.
Major changes like these are just a way to avoid your feelings.
Believe that with a little time, patience and support you will feel better and find love again.
10 . Search.
Find out what other people, who not only survived but thrived after their relationships ended, did to achieve peace of mind.
There are some excellent books on how to survive a breakup.
This little gem will give you insight, exercises and some sage advice for dealing with this broken heart problem.
Trust that you were not born to suffer and that your life will not just be good, it will be wonderful.
Love will come again and the next time, if you have really processed your feelings, it will be much better.
Having to work some alone time doesn’t have to be downright painful.
Remember that while change is mandatory, suffering is optional.