Because The Truth Hurts.
Whether you want it easy, simple, or convenient, dating these days is perfect for you.
Some people might read this and immediately recoil at the idea of dating being easy or simple.
They’re going to complain about how things are so complicated right now and how nobody wants any commitment and is just trying to connect, or whatever.
Which is exactly my point.
It’s easy, it’s simple, it’s convenient – because it’s all on the surface.
Superficial dating is not tempting, challenging, or difficult.
They don’t require depth, substance, or emotional commitment – they just need to send a few messages and invite them to Netflix and relax.
But if you want a real, solid, lasting relationship, there are a few things you’ll need to admit to yourself (and the man you’re interested in) before you really get there.
Here’s the truth about relationships that people need to understand:
1. Things Will End Up Bad.
If you’re waiting for the fairy tale ending, that’s not how things really work.
If you think my hundreds of romance articles and videos are intended to suggest that things are always sunshine and rainbows, I’m sorry, that was never my intention.
The reality of life is that every relationship will face challenges.
There will be diseases.
The sooner you understand that things won’t be perfect, the sooner you’ll be able to accept all phases of a relationship.
Good and bad.
2. You need to lose a lot before you can win.
So, you’ve been on three dates and you’re ready to give up, aren’t you?
Well, that’s life (or c’est la vie, as the French say).
Dating is like playing the lottery: sometimes you have to lose a lot before you win.
But if you never play, you’re guaranteed not to win.
3. Most People Expect Too Much From Others.
You absolutely need to set a certain level of standards for yourself, with a million percent certainty.
You need to ensure that you never (ever) settle for less than you deserve and dedicate your time only to the people who truly deserve it.
However, I think we’re taking it too far and expecting perfection from people.
We need to be flexible and realize that no one is perfect.
We need to understand that we need to make compromises sometimes and accept people for who they are, not who we want them to be.
4. Most People Are Obsessed With Recreating A Fantasy Land.
I know, your favorite Instagram couple with 6 billion followers is currently taking selfies in Bora Bora as they parachute into a waterfall, flexing their perfect abs and landing on unicorns before heading off into the sunset.
Stop comparing your “behind the scenes” with someone else’s highlight.
You don’t need the perfect relationship, you just need one that makes you happy and fulfilled.
Often the two are not the same.
5. You Don’t Get More Than You Give.
Many people hold their partner to higher standards than themselves.
Do you want someone who does CrossFit 5 days a week and trains for Triathlon in their spare time, but can’t wait to finish that box of Hot Pockets when you get home from a 26-second walk in the yard?
Jokes aside, it’s not about fitness – it’s about lifestyle and overall effort put into you and your relationship.
Don’t hold expectations for other people that you wouldn’t find yourself.
6. Nothing Will Be As You Imagined It.
If you want the Golden Retriever and 2 kids playing around the yard while you make a cake, you will likely be disappointed.
One of the beautiful things about relationships is that we have absolutely no idea what they’re going to be like.
Our happiest moments are usually the ones we never saw coming, and that’s what makes them great.
7. Actions Really Speak Louder Than Words.
Telling someone you care about them isn’t enough – you’ll have to make a consistent effort to show them.
And he will have to do the same for you.
8. You Have To Leave Your Past Behind.
Your windshield is bigger than your rearview mirror for a reason; the mirror is there to help you look back to where you’ve been, but if you focus too much on it, you’ll fail.
We are ALL affected by our past and ALL are reminded of it from time to time, but we cannot live in it unless we wish to repeat it.
We need to learn from it, take lessons, know what is good (and what is not) for us and adjust accordingly.
Mistakes are just mistakes until we learn from them and then they become lessons.
9. You Have To Be The Bigger Person Sometimes.
Your partner doesn’t always know how to communicate, apologize, compromise, or ask for forgiveness.
Sometimes you will have to be the one to step forward and be the bigger person.
You will have to accept an apology you never received.
You’ll have to clear the air, to make something less embarrassing, to understand that he didn’t mean to hurt you with what he said.
10. You Must Be Happy With Yourself Before You Can Be Happy With Anyone Else.
The most important relationship you’ve ever had is with yourself.
If this one isn’t healthy, none of your others will be.
And that’s the cold, hard truth about relationships.