“How long do I have to wait for my soul mate?” This is the big question that so many single men and women are asking.
People who are actively seeking the love of their life often ask me if I can share the secret with them to speed up the process. They tell me that they are tired of waiting, wishing, hoping and desiring the day when they meet their chosen one.
Although I know and believe that we can consciously bring the love of our life into our lives – I have done it, like thousands of my students around the world -, we cannot choose the speed at which all of this
I only met and married my soul mate at 44 years old.
At the start of my forties, I decided to find my soul mate using everything I had learned about psychology, spirituality and the laws of attraction. I worked on my goals until they became crystal clear, while eliminating the mess in my house and in my heart. I learned and invented techniques, rituals, visualizations and prayers that helped me prepare my body, my mind and my home for an extraordinary relationship.
And it worked. I managed to find my husband, Brian, who was and is everything I have ever wanted. It even exceeded all my desires and expectations.
So while I can’t tell you when your soul mate will show up, here’s what I know for sure:
Finding great love is possible for anyone … at any age.
And here are eleven tips to help you find your soul mate – in perfect divine sync.
1. Be convinced that this will happen
This wonderful Universe is designed to bring us the people and things that match our beliefs. If you don’t think you’ll ever find the Chosen One, then guess what … you probably won’t find it. So believing and knowing that your soul mate is somewhere is the most important part of the formula. If you learn to believe that the ELU is not only somewhere, but that it is looking for you too, then true love is within your reach.
2. Fall in love with yourself
Know that you are kind. Find ways to nurture yourself with love, appreciation, positive thoughts and tenderness every day. Start taking care of yourself as if you are the most important person in the world. You deserve your love and affection. When you fall in love with yourself, the whole world is a mirror that loves you. Oscar Wilde put it best: “Loving yourself is the beginning of a love story that will last a lifetime”.
3. Make room for your loved one
Eliminating physical clutter from your life is one of the quickest ways to increase the inner flow of new positive energies. At the same time, you also want to create physical space for your soon-to-be loved one.
Make sure to free up some space in your closet and keep the nightstand empty on the side of your soul mate so that when she arrives, she can fill it with her personal belongings. Remember the old saying, “Nature hates the void”? It applies here. Create space for the Universe to deliver your soul mate to a home that accommodates it (even if you don’t plan on having your soul mate living with you in your space, it’s essential to do this).
4. Heal your heart
Past injuries will keep you from finding great love. You may not realize it, but blaming people or not forgiving them binds you to them. Make a list of ex-lovers against whom you still harbor resentment or resentment. Write each one a detailed letter expressing your dissatisfaction. Give yourself permission to go through, because you will never post these letters. Then write a second letter – this time from your ex-lover’s point of view.
Then read all the letters aloud, with the intention of dispelling any remaining animosity. When we heal the scars of our past, we open the door to a more fulfilling future.
5. Identify your desires
Write down a list of the most important qualities that your soul mate will possess. Then take your list and create a “vision card”, a collage that becomes a visual representation of your romantic future. It really works!
I know a single man in his forties who quickly found his soul mate this way: After creating his vision card, he took a photo of it and made it the wallpaper of his laptop and his cell phone. Dozens of times a day, he focused on his “vision” and voila! In a few months, he met the love of his life.
6. Be the loving person you are
Find ways to express more love to everyone in your life. The Universe tends to reflect our beliefs about ourselves and the world. If we believe that the world is a loving and friendly place, then most of the time it will be what we will experience. But if we believe that the world is a chaotic, stressful and fearful place, then it becomes our reality.
7. Live the truth of your soul mate every day
Live as if you were already in a serious romantic relationship. Great love is possible for anyone of any age as long as they are willing to become a magnet for love. To do this, start with “Live as if”, which means that your actions respect your beliefs. For example, you can buy birthday greeting cards or “I love you because” that you will give to your loved one day, or even larger gifts that you want to give him later.
8. Create an altar in the relationship corner of your home
According to Feng Shui experts, the rightmost corner of your bedroom is considered the place of the relationship. To animate this space, create a sacred altar. Objects to place on the altar may include fresh flowers, a few pink or red candles, a few small swans or other animals that remain in a couple for life, and romantic photographs, icons or statues that represent to you the image of love and family.
You can also hang your “vision card” above your altar. Find time each day to spend a few minutes in front of your altar to pray for the rapid arrival of your loved one.
9. Listen to your intuition and act!
It is important to be on the lookout for synchronous signs of the Universe or inspiring invitations that come out of nowhere and that can lead you to your soul mate. Take action when such opportunities arise. Taking action can also mean joining an online dating service, signing up for a scuba diving course, or simply sharing your desire to meet the love of your life with trusted friends.
10. Feel the sensations of being with your soul mate
Before I met Brian 19 years ago, I had a daily ritual in which I lit several candles at sunset, put on my favorite CD of Gregorian chants and sat in my big, comfortable chair. With my eyes closed, I sank into the joy of having my soul mate in my life. I had these wonderful feelings in all parts of my body, knowing it was on the way. There were days when the thought that he was very late crossed my mind, but I let go of those thoughts and returned in a state of grace, knowing that his arrival was assured.
11. Enjoy the wait
For those who lack patience, don’t forget this: you can choose to let yourself go to feel hopeless and lonely, or you can choose to feel happy and fulfilled. One way to adopt a “happy and fulfilled” mentality is to understand the ancient Japanese aesthetic known as wabi sabi which honors all that is old, worn, altered, imperfect and impermanent. In fact, he seeks to find “beauty and perfection in imperfections.”
Rather than endure the wait, and the perceived imperfection of being single, you can take a wabi sabi perspective and really enjoy your last single days. You can savor the route and happily anticipate the arrival of your soul mate. One of the best ways to “savor the wait” is to make an appointment with yourself to do what nourishes and enriches you the most!
Think of it this way: when the seeds of a flower have been planted in the ground and the first leaves begin to germinate, the gardener does not pull the leaves every day to make the plant grow quickly. He hopes that Mother Nature will play her role and that when the time is right, the flower will bloom. Like a gardener, you planted a seed and invited love to unfold in your life.