What is the secret of longevity in love? Why do some manage to find their way while others separate along the way? What is the secret of these couples who persist despite the difficulties? We asked 12 couples, taking care not to reveal to one what the other had replied. Here is the result :
1. Emmanuelle and Romain, 20 years of marriage
Emmanuelle
“I think the reason we are still together after 20 years is that we have managed to accept our differences. “
Roman
“S**x! Seriously, I believe it starts with the desire to live with the person and accept them as they are. The second important point is to accept that the other can have his own passions and to accept to live with them. S**x also remains important, because it demonstrates the desire of the other for oneself, and it is important to know that one is still desired as one gets older. “
2. Mélanie and Johann, 13 years old
Melanie
“I admire him for what he is and for what he does. In my opinion, admiration is essential to love. Also, we are a great team, he and I. At home, with the children, in renovations, we know that we are there for each other, we each have our strengths and we complement each other well. Finally, for me, having common projects in the medium and long terms is essential. “
Johann
“Maintaining s**x life, staying respectful and not taking each other for granted. Be aware of the difference the other person makes in our life and give them recognition accordingly. Avoid dangerous situations, but also leave a common and mutual freedom. Finally, say I love you sincerely from time to time. ”
3. Caroline and Marek, 15
Caroline
“What makes us still together after 12 years is first and foremost because we are able to laugh together. For us, that’s the secret! “
Marek
“It is not an easy question!” It’s being able to accept to share your life with someone else. It is knowing how to accept one’s own faults and those of the other, and having the will to change them or to live with them if this is not possible. It is to question oneself, it is to communicate, it is confidence, it is baffles, reconciliations, compromises, it is s**x, it is tears, but also giggles. It’s mostly work! You can’t take it for granted that, if the couple has been around for 15 years, that everything must be on cruise control and that everything will work out on its own. “
4. Caroline and Martin, 22
Caroline
“He is my soul mate and he is my friend above all: we are not only in love. We leave ourselves free and we respect our respective freedom. There hasn’t been a single day in 22 years where we haven’t said “I love you”. I think that’s what makes it last. We are lucky to have found each other. “
Martin
“We have common interests. The phrase “opposites attract” is not really a winner. Yes to the difference in personality, but not to the fundamental oppositions. We have a common vision and similar life goals (money, family, work, etc.). To live together for a long time, in my opinion, it takes complicity and complementarity, confidence, autonomy and independence. In the end, it has to be simple. “
5. Ginette and Gilles, 25 years old
Ginette
“You never go to bed without having resolved the conflicts. Communication is essential in the survival of our couple. “
Gilles
“In our case, the couple’s harmony goes through money management: each for himself. She has her budget, I have mine. Like that, there are no conflicts over finances and it’s perfect like that. “
6. Lyne and Jean, 15
Lyne
“The secret of our longevity? Humor! We laugh, it makes me laugh. It is very important for me. “
Jeans
“The car ride we make in traffic morning and evening allows us to meet, share our lives, say what we have to say. “
7. Françoise and Jacques, 30 years old
Françoise
“I believe the key to a successful relationship is communication and trust. However, trust is earned, and the other must prove it by respecting his commitments. It is also necessary to be compatible as much in the intimate life as in the daily life; it goes without saying that we must agree on the fundamental principles of living together: finance, home, children, etc. It also goes into the way of settling conflicts: you have to know how to compromise, because you can’t always win the battle. We must also be careful not to “let go”: a couple requires effort and investment in equal parts from each of the two parties. Now that we have grandchildren, we are closer than ever. “
Jacques
” It’s my best friend. When s**x and intimate relationships become less frequent, it becomes very important that intimate moments become more carnal than purely s**xual. Obviously, it takes willpower to make it work, and one must never take the other for granted. We cannot always guess what the other wants, which is why it is important to communicate our desires well so as not to be disappointed, because we have built up expectations of the other that the latter may not to have understood. One last thing: to say that we love each other! “
8. Pascale and Reda, 13 years old
Pascale
“We always have things to say to each other, to share. “
Reda
“We are on the same wavelength concerning the vicissitudes of life and, of course, s**x is going well!” “
9. Manon and Gilles, 11 years old
Manon
“The secret of our couple is to always support each other. If he is down, I help him get up, and vice versa. Spending time together is a priority, but sometimes you have to leave yourself a little time alone to go see our respective friends, like that, we have more things to tell when we meet. Trust in others is essential for all couples, and I trust my man! “
Gilles
“We have been together for several years. We like the same things, so it’s easy for us to stay together. We often go to music group concerts that we like, and we have fun . I believe that, if I had a piece of advice to give to those who are looking to be in a relationship, it is to find someone with whom you will be able to have a good time in all your favorite activities, and with whom you will never get bored. ‘be. “
10. Martine and Alain, 22 years old
Martine
“Children, work, household chores, there are many distractions that can harm a couple. In this infernal chaos of routine life, we can almost forget that the man in front of us, who prepares the children’s lunch, was the elegant young man in a tuxedo who was told “I want it!” ” The length of our common life, unfortunately, has no big secrets. I just believe that it is enough to manage to find time for the two of us, far from our everyday life. Admittedly, the opportunities are not numerous, but when they arise, they must be counted. “
Alain
“In fact, there is no magic recipe for a couple to last a long time. There are certainly little things like never going to bed in anger, but every couple is different and each of these tips is not always for everyone. I believe that, for our couple, what was greatly beneficial is that we both invested in our union from the start. We have slightly forgotten ourselves individually in order to grow our relationship. “
11. Lucie and Robert, 35 years old
Lucy
“We must certainly have the will for our couple to succeed. For this, we must also respect each other in what we are, and bet on the complementarity of our differences. We must reserve periods for two, and build joint projects. It is, however, very important to also have individual projects. Of course, expressing our love regularly helps keep the flame alive. Being in a relationship also means forming a team that leans on in difficult times. Add a good dose of humor to all of this, and you’ve got a winning combination. Like happiness, a couple’s life is built on a daily basis. “
Robert
“Even after 35, you have to learn to listen to others. We must share the tasks according to everyone’s tastes and strengths. We must reserve moments for ourselves and have our own projects and activities in parallel with our joint projects. Enjoy a good glass of wine to savor our happiness, and a large glass of water to resolve the tensions that may arise over the years. Knowing how to laugh at yourself during moments of teasing is essential for us. To say that we love each other and to offer a bouquet of flowers on occasion, for no particular reason: these little attentions make a difference. Since our union, we have created a contract renewable every 5 years, where, at the end of the year, we retrospect the past 5 years and then renew the agreement for another 5 years. “
12. Hélène and André, 43 years old
Helene
“I got to know André when I was 17, and we got married when I was 20. Despite my young age, I knew I had the right guy, and that he would always be there for me and our family. I got married with the idea that we were going to succeed in our union. Life brings beautiful moments and difficulties. You have to know how to speak and communicate. Trust in others is essential. Agree on the principles of education, not to contradict the decisions of the other in front of the children, we talk, we can come back to them and apologize for our choice, and explain to them the reason for this decision. No one is perfect and you have to accept it. Admiration is an important point. I admire him for his righteousness, honesty and hard work. Nothing puts him off. Humor must be present every day, even on difficult days. Sensuality and tenderness are also important. They make the days go by well, with intimate moments when the two are in perfect harmony. Pay attention to yourself to be at your best. I take the time to put on make-up, to make sure that he is happy to be in my company. I also do it for myself because I like to be at my best for both of us.
Knowing that your spouse will always be there for you is what makes love grow in a couple. So, I can tell you that my love for my beautiful André is growing every day. We will make a nice couple of ti-old sets. “
André
“It all starts with the choice of a good partner: an accomplice who shares and conveys similar values. Hélène had the values sought, and just like her, I got married with the desire to succeed in our union. Sincere love and unconditional respect for others are essential everyday ingredients. While leaving room for fulfillment and personal fulfillment, we made sure that listening and good communication were established in the couple to allow both individual well-being/development and the interests of the couple. Thus, everyone can have their respective projects which should not interfere with the smooth running of the couple. Then, the establishment and the achievement of common objectives are done in pairs, as well as any important decision that could affect the life of our couple. Our couple is a team effort where we often have to put the interests of the couple before their personal interest. Confidence, tolerance, teasing, humor, and being able to accept mistakes are part of our daily lives. We also take the time to do activities together, to laugh together, to pay ourselves some small bonuses, and to regularly manifest small gestures that remind and maintain our love. We will be married for almost 40 years (in October 2014) and increasingly aspire to enjoy life and be happy together. ” and being able to accept mistakes is part of our daily life. We also take the time to do activities together, to laugh together, to pay ourselves some small bonuses, and to regularly manifest small gestures that remind and maintain our love. We will be married for almost 40 years (in October 2014) and increasingly aspire to enjoy life and be happy together. ” and being able to accept mistakes is part of our daily life. We also take the time to do activities together, to laugh together, to pay ourselves some small bonuses, and to regularly manifest small gestures that remind and maintain our love. We will be married for almost 40 years (in October 2014) and increasingly aspire to enjoy life and be happy together. ”
There is no miracle recipe that guarantees the longevity of a couple. What is certain, as these testimonies demonstrate, to make a good journey with the same person, you must communicate and know how to put water in your wine when the time comes. This is a real team effort where everyone must put all their will into it. Above all, don’t forget to tell yourself that you love yourself!
