The best way to avoid problems in a couple is to stop digging. But first, you have to know the types of toxic relationships in which you can be submerged. We all have something toxic, and our task is to work on ourselves, not on our partners.
Living in a toxic relationship with a partner is very painful. Nobody deserves it. Couples are formed to be happy. But each one contributes their way of being and sometimes what is dominant is some toxicity.
The biggest problem in complicated relationships is that the toxic person does not see it. That person can be ourselves. Do you want to heal? Keep reading, help your partner.
1.- Toxic relationships are the most addictive
It is very difficult to get out of a complicated relationship as a couple. A toxic relationship is emotionally engaged that just thinking about breaking up causes suffering. We all go through this stage.
Avoiding getting into a toxic relationship, or leaving quickly when you’re already immersed is a trial and error task. It is a personal work of inner growth with humility and gratitude.
2.- There are many types of toxic relationships
Couple love is a daily construction. But movies, magazines, and society itself make us believe that falling in love is instantaneous and with whom you do not know. Ideal romances are not real.
When a person does not know himself and his self-esteem is low, relationships without a future. Difficult couples are basically between people who don’t take care of their happiness.
3.- In a toxic relationship, the common thing is to delegate your happiness
It sounds romantic, “I love you because you make me happy.” In other words, if it were not that person, what would be your happiness? No person is obliged to take care of the happiness of their partner.
“I love you because you meet all my requirements that make me happy.” That does not exist except in the mind of the person. If your list of requirements is not met there is a lot of suffering.
4.- Toxic relationship is not being able to do what you like
The best way to identify the different types of toxic relationships is to feel bad. Your life changes in a way that you don’t like. You get upset without being able to control.
Difficult couples cause you to focus on your weaknesses. You feel powerless. Your partner is dominant or submissive and makes you feel guilty with lies and blackmail.
5.- When a single person wants to have all the power
Toxic couple relationships begin when dialogue is scarce and when only one believes they have power. For example, the man works and the hard work of the woman in the home is not valued.
For this to happen one has to have a very high ego and the other person very low self-esteem. A person without autonomy, emotionally dependent suffers and does not know how to free himself.
6.- When one person expects the other to fill their gaps
Complicated relationships start when one person has too many expectations of the other. Expect me to do what is necessary to make her happy, to bring her out of misery, etc.
In a relationship, neither has to meet the expectations of the other. Each one has to take charge of their happiness. This is another of the frequent types of toxic couple relationships.
7.- Emotional codependent relationships
Another type of toxic relationship occurs between two people with very low self-esteem. Both are ignorant of the power and abundance of their individuality. They are very passive and emotionally dependent.
They both look at each other for approval. They even prioritize what they consider the other’s needs trying to please. They believe that their happiness depends on the other person.
8.- Have unreal or idealized high expectations
You consider that your partner loves you if he meets a list of requirements such as a shopping list. Attributing unrealistic characteristics to your partner is typical of a toxic relationship.
One of them accepts the relationship because he believes that this person will make him happy. If you have a defect, you think you can fix it. If he does not act according to your list of expectations, you feel bad, you consider that he is failing you.
9.- Use the past as a justification of your way of being
Toxic relationships as a couple are for example It is your fault for having done this to me or I am like this because of this or that which happened in the past. Some look for who harmed the other the most in the past.
These types of toxic dating relationships are a game of manipulation trying to justify present acts by past facts. I am unfaithful to you because you deserve it, you did this and that to me.
10.- Feel the need or right to lie continuously
If you continually lie to your partner, you have a toxic relationship. You have to hide to do what you like because your partner is angry. You can believe that your lie is justified, but where is it going?
A good relationship is built with confidence. Each one has to feel free to open up to the other person to get to know each other. Hiding simply weakens the relationship.
11.- When there is no tolerance, forgiveness, or gratitude
All relationships go through a toxic stage. Sometimes we fail and stop trying our best. At some point, we are all unfaithful with the thought or the look.
We do not all think alike or have the same abilities. We must be tolerant and forgive ourselves. Difficulties with our partner give us the opportunity to improve, that is, we have to be thankful.
12.- When communication is passive and aggressive
Many people assume that their partner must realize how they feel. Instead of communicating, they play with hints, become hostile, or become victims.
These types of toxic couple relationships are born from poor communication. They don’t always have to agree, but you have to express it. Not knowing how to handle disagreements hurts.
13.- Relationships with emotional blackmail
A toxic relationship with your partner is for example when you deny him affection for something that you do not like. Your partner pleases you because of that blackmail. Emotional blackmail is very subtle.
The emotional blackmailer wants to dominate the other by generating guilt. You do not communicate, but you expect the other to know. He says, if you love me you should know, I know what you feel.
14.- When time and quality are not dedicated to the relationship
Many couples believe that getting engaged or married is enough. Each one goes about his life hoping that the other respects the relationship. Passion disappears and they live as strangers.
A relationship is always under construction. Complicated relationships are caused by apathy and a lack of self-esteem. Every day you both have to do something with your emotions together.
All these types of toxic relationships originate from not spending time and quality to be together. Emotionally together, fully involved with each other.