Loving someone who does not correspond to us is very painful, but sometimes it is more difficult when we are in love with a person but the relationship is impossible, either due to obstacles of time, distance, or family problems.
There are many reasons why love can be impossible, either because the other person has a partner, because he has other values or religion, because he dedicated his life to religion or, simply, because the life plans of both are not compatible and separate them.
When you are in love but you must assume that you cannot have a relationship with that person, you will feel a series of emotions that range from frustration and guilt to resignation.
We discuss some of these phases that you must go through when you find yourself in that situation:
1. They have feelings of guilt that haunt them day by day
It is normal to experience pain after a break or distance from that love that we consider impossible.
Even if both of you are aware that you cannot be together in a relationship as you wanted, there will be a part of you that will claim you – at least for a while – for not having tried to the last possible resort to hold on to that partner.
2. Rage and anger against the person
Among the mixture of emotions that you will feel, anger will be one of the first.
It is usual that resentment arises against the other person, for having fallen in love and not having been reciprocated in the same way.
Maybe because you blame him for not trying enough to be with you.
But you must remember that the heart is not governed.
If the other person did not fall in love with you in the same way or simply cannot have a relationship at the moment, you should try to see the situation as an experience and learning, accept the positive in order to move on.
Falling for claims and pointing fingers will only make you look desperate!
3. Wishing them bad
This is a fairly immature, but sadly common, an attitude that stems from that same rage that we speak of.
When you are devastated by heartbreak, part of that annoyance is channeled into negative wishes for that person and their life.
You probably want him to be made to suffer as much as you have suffered or that he never manages to be happy with another person, which should seem just right at that moment.
At the end that is nothing more than a reflection of the pain, you feel for the separation.
4. Enterenal denial
If you resist accepting separation and constantly tell yourself that you will be able to change it, you are in the denial stage.
It is difficult to accept painful things, so it is common to close to reality and hold on to the possibility of getting back with that person you love.
But it is useless to close your eyes to reality, the more you resist, the more it will hurt.
Assume that you are not together, seek help, get out of your routine, lean on your friends and take time to dedicate yourself.
It is the only way to regain your happiness and move on.
5. You contemplate the possibility of keeping the relationship a secret
Assuming that you both love each other and the impossibility of being together is due to family situations, such as that your family does not tolerate you or your parents prevent you from seeing them, for example, perhaps you have thought more than once about hiding the relationship but staying together.
This is a very romanticized gesture in series and movies, but it is not easy at all. No one deserves to keep their relationship hidden or be seen sneakily. A couple is to share and show off. If that person does not defend you to his family, it will be very difficult for the relationship to last in the long term.
Sooner or later someone will come to their senses and will tire of the situation.
6. Find out if the other would be capable of doing something crazy for love
Falling in love with an impossible love can be dangerous if you lose your mind. Yes, in love the mind does not rule, but it is important to stay as rational as possible and evaluate how far we can go for love.
We all know how badly the story of Romeo and Juliet ended. Crazy love sounds very romantic, but sometimes it is not worth putting your family, future, or even your job at risk just to show that you are in love.
7. You don’t know whether to tell your best friend everything
Falling in love with someone who will never reciprocate, or with whom you know you will have no future, can be embarrassing. That is why you may feel lonely and isolate yourself because you feel uncomfortable with the idea of asking for help or venting with your closest people, not even with your best friend.
The truth is that when it comes to difficult loves, everyone understands that it is not worth wearing yourself out, except the one who is going through falling in love!
Remember that keeping your feelings is not healthy, if you feel that you need to express yourself, swallow the pain and do it. At least you can unload your emotions.
8. You suffer every day
For a time you will believe that a higher force controls you and wants you to be unhappy. That’s the hardest part of grief: the pain.
Once you assume that the relationship is impossible, you no longer resist being separated but you understand that there will be no future with that person. Hence the pain. The only remedy is time.
9. You get obsessed, but you stay hidden within the relationship
You don’t want that person to know that you love them, but you keep an eye on what they do, check their social networks, comments and try to get information about their life from their friends. This obsession, although common, is harmful to you and does not allow you to overcome the situation.
10. You constantly say to yourself: “This is my life, so who cares if I love that person!”
You keep torturing yourself between fits of rage and false resignation, but when people close to you offer support to move forward, you resist receiving help and get upset if they ask you to move on with your life, even if they do it for your good.
11. You evaluate the pros and cons
It is a fight: your mind tells you that the relationship is impossible even if you are in love, but your heart insists that you must fight. When you achieve a point of calm in the midst of pain, you will begin to evaluate the situation more rationally.
You will look for the pros and cons of continuing to try with that person. It is the simplest and easiest way to help you make the best decision for you.
12. You try to fall in love with someone else
In your effort to get your impossible love out of your mind, you begin to meet other people with the purpose of being happy again. This is the first step in getting over the breakup, although you probably aren’t ready for another relationship yet.
13. You think you can never get that person out of your heart
As you try to reach out to other people still with that impossible partner in mind, those first dates are sure to fail. You are not emotionally ready for another relationship, but you try to force her to get over the previous one.
One nail does not take out another nail! By starting relationships like this, they will surely fail and that will make you believe that you can never overcome your love for that impossible person. Impossible loves can turn into real emotional torture! Believe it or not, in time you will forget him.
14. You fight with your mind
You tell yourself every day that you shouldn’t think about that girl or boy, because they can never be together anyway, but their memories haunt you anyway! At least you are already clear that the relationship has no future and you must discipline yourself every day to overcome it.
15. It affects you that you fall in love with someone else
At this point you are already clear that they will not be able to be happy, you know that they have no future, but it hurts you and you resist the idea of that person falling in love with someone else.
Jealousy will attack you, but if you really love him – and you love yourself – let him go! Only then will you get over it too.
16. You swim against the current and move on
Despite the feeling and the pain, you face yourself and decide to fight your own thoughts. You finally resign yourself to the situation and move on with your life.