Family is not always blood ties.
These are the people in your life who appreciate having you in theirs – the ones who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways, and who not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody what you want to be. These people – your real family – are the ones that also really matter.
Here are twenty tips to help you find and nurture those special relationships:
1. Free yourself from negative people. –
Spend time with kind, intelligent, motivated, and lively people. Relationships should help you, and not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect who you want to be.
Pick friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you, people who make your day a little brighter just by participating. Life is too short to spend time with people who yearn for your happiness. When you break free from negative people, you break free to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live.
2. Forget those who are already gone. –
The sad truth is that there are people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve them, they will leave. But the good news is, if you’re tough you’ll eventually push these people out of your life and stay with great people you can count on.
We rarely lose friends and lovers, we gradually find out who the real ones are. So when people walk away from you, let them go. Your fate is never tied to someone who leaves you. It doesn’t mean they are bad people; It just means that their role in your story is over.
3. Give people you don’t know a fair chance.
– When you look at a person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone went through something that changed them, and forced them to grow up. Every face that passes in the street represents a story just as compelling and complicated as yours. We don’t meet ordinary people in our lives.
If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer. So appreciate the possibility of new relationships when you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering uncharted territory. Be ready to learn, be up for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone who could change your life forever.
4. Show everyone kindness and respect.
– Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people who deserve to be respected.
Treat everyone with the same respect you would give your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your little brother. People will notice your kindness.
5. Accept people for who they are.
In most cases, it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try. So save yourself from unnecessary stress. Instead of trying to change others, give them your support, and lead by example.
6. Encourage and applaud others.
Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to great places – productive, busy, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Praise them for their victories. Be openly grateful for their blessings. And sooner or later, the people you applaud will start to cheer you on.
7. Be your imperfectly perfect self.
In this crazy world that tries to make everyone love you, find the courage to continue to be your awesome self. And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh at you with them to be who you are. Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who urge you to impress.
Be your imperfectly perfect self around them.
We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for the selected people who really take the time to know and love us for who we really are. And for those chosen few, being our imperfectly perfect self is what they love about us.
8. Forgive people and move on.
Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness does not say: “What you have done to me is good”. He said, “I’m not going to let what you made me spoil my happiness forever.”
Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean that you are erasing the past or forgetting what happened. It means that you let go of the resentment and the pain, and instead choose to learn from the incident and move on with your life. Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt you, the more time you will have to love the people who love you.
7. Do small things every day for others. –
Sometimes these little things take up most of their hearts. You cannot be everything to everyone , but you can be everything to a few. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.
8. Pay attention to who your real friends are.
As we grow older, we realize that it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real friends. Remember, life is a lot like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some make fun of you, and some arrive very late.
But in the end, after the fun, there are a few left over to help you clean up the mess. And most of the time, it’s not even the ones who messed it up. These people are your true friends in life. They are the ones who matter most.
9. Always be faithful.
True love and true friendship are not inseparable. These relationships are about two people who respect each other even when they are apart. When it comes to relationships, staying loyal is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.
10. Stay in better contact with the people who matter to you.
In human relationships, distance is not measured in kilometers, but in affection. Two people can be next to each other, but miles away from each other. So don’t ignore someone you love, because lack of interest hurts more than angry words.
Stay in touch with those who matter to you. Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth it. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a certain number of friends that you can be sure of. Taking care of these people is a priority.
11. Keep your promises and tell the truth.
If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there! If you say you feel something, FEEL IT REALLY! If you can’t, then DON’T SAY IT. It is always best to tell the truth in advance.
Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and don’t expect people to trust you when the truth is revealed. half-truths are no better than lies. Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt.
Lying, cheating and playing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts. Never joke about someone’s feelings just because you’re not sure about yours. Always be open and honest.
12. Give what you would like to receive.
Don’t wait for what you can’t give. Start practicing the Golden Rule. If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want money, provide value. It works. It really is that simple.
13. Say what you think and think what you say.
Give the people in your life the information they need, instead of expecting them to know the unknowable. Information is what keeps the engine of communication running.
Start communicating clearly. Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t let other people try to read yours. Most problems, big and small, in a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with poor communication.
14. Let others make their own decisions.
Don’t judge others on your past. They live a different life than the one you have. What may be good for one person may not be good for another. What could be bad for one person could change another person’s life for the better. Allow people to make their own mistakes and make their own decisions.
15. Talk a little less, and listen more.
Less advice is often the best advice. People don’t need a lot of advice, they need a listening ear and positive reinforcement. What they want to know is often already somewhere inside them.
They just need time to think, to be, and to breathe, and to continue exploring the undirected journeys that will ultimately help them find their direction.
16. Let go of minor arguments.
Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. There are a lot of fairways. And most of the time it doesn’t matter much.
17. Ignore unconstructive and hurtful comments.
No one has the right to judge you. They may have heard your stories, but they haven’t experienced and felt what you are going through. No matter what you do, there will always be someone to think outside the box.
So focus on doing what you know in your heart. What most people think and say about you isn’t that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
18. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself.
One of the most painful things in life is getting lost in the process of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are that special. When was the last time someone told you that they loved you for the way you are, and that what you think and feel matters?
When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you somewhere, just because they know you feel happy when you are there? When was the last time ‘someone’ was YOU?