We often get stuck when we’re in a relationship, but the sooner you see the signs that a relationship is over, the sooner you can end it for real.
I’ve been in this situation.
I think you’ve been and may well be now.
You’re in a relationship and there’s nothing exactly wrong, but it’s not exactly right either.
And the signs that the relationship is over are emerging.
But if neither of you says anything, how do you know if the relationship is over?
Breakups Are Hard
No matter the length or depth of your relationship, breakups suck.
There’s no way to discuss it.
That’s why it’s often hard to see the signs that a relationship is over.
We all live in this area of denial.
You’re in a relationship, but you’re not what you used to be.
Maybe you make excuses for work or stress, but deep down you know the relationship is over.
All you have to do is admit it to yourself and then to your partner.
I don’t blame her for sitting in that space between actually taking the relationship status from “non-existent” to “absolute end”, but from experience, I can say that it’s worth ripping off the bandaid now rather than later.
The longer you wait to end a relationship, especially after you see the signs that a relationship is over, the worse it will be.
So if you notice some or even all of these things in your relationship, take them as signs and break up with him.
Signs that a Relationship is Over
There are excuses to be made for almost all of these signs.
You may convince yourself that you don’t see your partner because of work.
And you might say, “we don’t fight,” as a sign that your relationship isn’t that bad.
But, as Camila Cabello sang, “no reason to stay is a good reason to leave”.
1 . You are more like roommates than lovers.
This can happen in many long-term relationships, especially if you live together.
You can discuss bills, dinner, and what to watch on Netflix, but don’t go beyond that.
A romantic relationship should add more to your life than that.
2 . You’d rather spend time with someone else or alone.
When you are in a happy relationship, you want to spend time with your partner.
You’re excited for date nights.
But if things are coming to an end, you might want friends more than your partner.
Also, you may prefer to be alone.
We all have moments like this, but if it’s happening more often, it could be a sign that the relationship is over.
3 . You don’t even call to argue.
This is something I have seen in almost every relationship that has ended.
Instead of fighting, you give up and let things happen.
This may sound healthy, but discussing your opinions and opening up is vital to a healthy relationship.
If you’ve reached a point where you both just don’t bother to argue, both of you can check it out.
4 . You Fight Constantly.
Fighting constantly can be a sign of a stressful situation.
Perhaps one of you has lost your job or is having a hard time.
But if your discussions are full of irrelevant things and not about important issues you want to work on, it’s a sign that both of you are in the last step.
5 . Relationship Seems More Work Than Pleasure.
A relationship is a work.
Nobody ever said it wasn’t.
But the good and happy things must be worth it.
If not, it is a sign that the relationship is over.
6 . Your Friends Have Noticed A Change.
Right before my best friend broke up with her ex, I noticed how much she had changed.
She looked tired and trapped.
She never had anything positive to say about her boyfriend.
If your friends are mentioning something like this to you, take note.
They usually know you better than you know yourself.
7 . You Develop Passions For Other People.
It’s normal to think that someone at work is cute, but if you start to develop real feelings for someone other than your partner, the relationship is over in your mind.
8 . You’ve got colder.
If you’ve already checked out the relationship, it needs to end.
If you don’t reach out to your partner with news, barely respond to his messages, and simply have no interest in making the least effort possible, he deserves the truth.
This is one of the main signs that a relationship is over.
Now, you just need to finish it once and for all.
9 . You don’t give each other time.
When you are happy in your relationship, you make time.
You change your schedule if necessary.
But if your relationship lags behind everything else in your life, something is wrong.
Not making time for each other, even over coffee together, is a red flag.
10 . You Get Annoyed Easier Than Before.
We all have our flaws.
Some people chew with their mouths open, others snore.
And when you’re in a relationship, you might even find these things pleasant.
But when the lack of washing-up skills starts to get to you and the constant changing of channels on the TV doesn’t get out of your partner’s hand, the two of you are going crazy.
Good is no longer good enough to make these things fall into the background.
11 . You try to make him break up with you.
You know it’s time to end things.
You’ve already broken up, but instead of spitting out the words, you start fights, bring up the past, maybe even cheat on him, so your partner has to break up.
Trust me, it’s much easier to break up yourself.
12 . You Don’t Talk.
Communication is the key to any relationship.
With your parents, your friends, and even at work, without communication, things just don’t work out.
You might have a busy week where you just didn’t have time.
If you let this become the norm, the relationship will end before you know it, if it isn’t already.
13 . You are bored.
We all love a good movie night and Netflix hugs.
If you feel bored with this routine in your relationship and you’ve brought up ideas for a fun date, but they never seem to happen, your relationship may be over.
If your interests are no longer compatible and the newness of the relationship fades to make way for something stale, or dull, it’s time to move on.
14 . You convince yourself it’s not that bad.
This is a big problem.
I notice a lot of women who try to make excuses.
They say, “he’s so kind.” Just because your partner is kind doesn’t mean they’re right for you.
There is a fear of regret in this situation.
What if you break up but can’t find another nice person?
That’s when you need to realize that it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person, no matter how good they are.
15 . Good Does Not Outweigh Evil.
The pros and cons lists can seem a little cheesy and not very romantic.
But if you’re wondering if your relationship is over, this is a good way to check.
Compare the good and bad parts of your relationship.
And if there’s more harm than good, it’s time to end things.
16 . You’re Always Complaining.
That’s how I know when a friend is about to break up.
When, instead of enjoying life with their partner, they constantly complain.
The partner always wants to know where they are and who they are with.
The partner is rude to the waiters, gives bad tips, and cancels plans at the last minute.
When you’re complaining a lot more than enjoying it, things aren’t going well.
It is one of the signs that the relationship is over.
17 . You can’t help but think that something is wrong.
It is difficult to identify.
You can’t really describe what’s wrong.
Things are pretty much the same, you do the same things, you get along well, but there’s something you can’t understand.
This is your intuition trying to tell you to take action.
18 . You Don’t Miss Your Partner When He’s Away.
When you’re in a healthy relationship and your partner has to leave on a work trip, you miss them.
You set up video chat meetings and exchange messages all the time.
And you’re really excited for him to come back.
But when a relationship is showing signs of breaking up, you can easily look forward to a distant time.
The idea of him coming home can seem daunting.
19 . You Make Future Plans Alone.
If you buy tickets to the show two months in advance and don’t tell your partner, you should already be anticipating the breakup.
If you’re planning a week-long vacation or even taking a new job far away, you’re planning your future without him.
At this point, it’s best to officially end things before they get messy.
While these are all signs that a relationship is over, there is always hope if the two of you want to make it work.
If not, it’s time to finish it properly and go your separate ways.