You have been in a relationship for several years and everything is going for the best, in peace and serenity. But the more time flies, the more you fear that everyday life will gradually catch up with you and that passion will eventually fade. Rest assured, you are not alone in this case. According to Franklin Porter, a psychotherapist in New York, looking into this is the best way to preserve your relationship. “Relationships generally deteriorate when the couple avoid facing the problem,” he told the site.MyDomaine.com . Here are 3 tips to maintain the flame, even after several years of relationship.
Do not stay “stuck” permanently
One of the fundamental rules for maintaining desire within a couple consists in not forgetting yourself as a person. Indeed, if you spend all your evenings with your other half without ever reserving time for yourself, the stories that you will tell yourself next will be limited to anecdotes of work and in the long run, you are highly likely to see your topics of conversation s ‘exhaust. So why not take the opportunity to go out more with your friends or to find yourself a new Ingres violin? As explained by American s ex therapist Stephen Snyder, author of the bookLove Worth Making , “It can be very rewarding to develop a hobbie to which your partner is completely foreign. It will allow him to see you in a new light and arouse his interest in your regard.”
Pay attention to each other
When was the last time you listened to your partner (without interrupting or discreetly consulting your mobile phone)? “Spend a little more time chatting together and establish a new mode of conversation,” advises Stephen Snyder. The principle is simple: one speaks, the other listens. If you are the one listening, try to interrupt your partner as little as possible and above all not to anticipate or influence their responses. This collusive dialogue will only strengthen the already very strong bonds that unite you. And who knows, you may be able to obtain an unprecedented confidence from him, which will not fail to surprise you, you who were sure to know his life in every detail …
Let go of the eternal restaurant and cinema evenings that you tirelessly practice every Friday evening and give free rein to your creativity. In other words, amaze each other by taking turns in surprise evenings . If possible, make it a ritual: “honey, this week it’s up to you to surprise me”. A trip in a moonlight riverboat, a crazy game of laser-game, a forest getaway for a weekend … No matter how original the outing you organize, the moment that allows you both to live a unique moment (and therefore necessarily unforgettable). A method highly acclaimed by French couple therapists Anne Sauzède-Lagarde and Jean-Paul Sauzède.
If you have already experienced all these tricks but you feel that it is not enough, you can always take inspiration from the method of this American couple , which advocates a kind of miraculous “eye contact” to reconnect to each other. other everyday. The experience consists mainly in looking at your partner with new eyes, as if you were meeting him for the very first time.