Love is not always a long, calm river, and that’s good because there are sometimes bad times that we appreciate when the good come back. The problem is that when a couple is in crisis, we do not know if it is temporary or permanent.
And precisely, to try to take the pulse of our relationship, Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, marriage counselor and author of the book “Toxic Friendships”, suggests that we answer three questions . These would help us determine the satisfaction and benefits of our relationship.
1- Is meeting the expectations of the other a source of happiness or exhaustion and resentment for you?
In a relationship, you don’t just care about your own needs. We also try to respond to those of our partner, sometimes even putting them before ours. However, if we are in a healthy relationship, this link should not weigh us since it underpins that we want to make the other happy. In the same way, our partner should work to make us as happy as possible. So is that the case?
2- Does your relationship offer you what you need?
In love, as in all aspects of our lives, we would be wrong to give up our basic desires. And in this regard, does our relationship provide us with what we need? Do we have the same expectations regarding our daily desires and our long-term goals? Obviously, this does not mean that for our couple to flourish, we must be on the same wavelength on everything at all times. On the other hand, when disagreements appear, it is best to discuss them to make sure that we are still looking in the same direction and that we are both ready to make some adjustments so that everyone will find something to suit them.
3- Are the benefits of this relationship proportional to your investment?
We previously talked about compromises and sacrifices to ensure the happiness of each of the partners, lovingly speaking. And precisely, here is the last question: are our compromises and sacrifices proportional to his? If one has the impression that one is the only one to invest for the good running of the couple, then perhaps it is time to put the points on the “i” and according to the results obtained from ask what brings (good) this relationship .
Do you feel accomplished and satisfied in your relationship and take it to heart to make sure that the same is true for your partner? So the temperature is at a good temperature, and you and your other half are really good!