We can love each other, time and routine can slightly weaken the relationship. We feel misunderstood, not “enough” loved. However, it is not enough to be connected again and allow our relationship to rise to its zenith . Life Coach Kate Snowise delivers Mindbodygreen the keys she believes should help us get there. Here’s what we can do at our level to reconnect to our partner.
1- Focus on your personal development
“Happy people create positive relationships,” says the coach. However, that does not mean that we have to wait for others to win us happiness and offer us a piece each morning. By making sure to be happy by yourself, you will limit the chances of being disappointed that the other has not done it. The coach therefore advises to assess her current level of happiness and to ask herself: “What can I do to feel happier?”. This can consist of practicing a new activity, seeing your friends more often, playing more sports, carrying out a project … Then you put your desires into action. A work on us that will allow us to achieve more and that will rub off on our couple.
2- See the glass half full
In life as in your couple, you have the choice: see the glass half empty (focus on everything that does not suit us) or see it half full (favor the qualities of your lover). However, according to a study by Professor John Gottman on couple relationships, for a couple to be lasting (and happy too), we must respect a magic ratio: five positive interactions against a negative .
“In other words, as long as there are five times more positive interactions between partners than negative, the relationship is likely to be stable.”
The idea is therefore to focus on what our partner brings us and emphasize it rather than focusing on its faults. This flow of positive emotions should make him want to inspect us through this same loving prism, thus creating a positive and healthy spiral.
3- Give yourself special moments
To be happy and remain so, it is necessary to maintain the complicity within the couple. And this can only be done by having a good time together . “It can be a monthly party (where luckily there is no TV to distract you), go for a walk together, plan a vacation or choose to fall asleep while petting yourself the sofa rather than sleeping alone, “says coach Kate Snowise. “The time and energy devoted to your union are essential. Where your energy goes, your attention circulates”. However, she specifies, “attention is the fuel that will help your partner to feel important and valued in your relationship, which will probably lead him to cover you in turn with
By putting these little precepts into action, the complicity and passion of the beginnings should return to their top.