Often love is beautiful. We meet, we love each other, we are happy. But sometimes the romance turns into a nightmare and we fall into what is called a toxic relationship.
The peculiarity of this kind of relationship is that the partners are often not aware of what their relationships are unhealthy. They hurt each other, but they also don’t find the willpower to stop and move on.
So what are the mechanisms that take place in this kind of relationship, and why is it so difficult to get out of it?
What is a toxic relationship?
In a toxic relationship, one of the two partners can be a manipulator who, out of perversity, will seek to profit, belittle or make the other suffer. In this case, sadism and cruelty are at work.
But even if the term “narcissistic pervert”, for example, is used more and more, this kind of profile is fortunately very rare.
But the problem is, you can find yourself in a toxic relationship with a man who is nothing like a pervert. It is enough that he has different objectives (you want a couple relationship / he just wants an ass for example) to get you into an unbalanced relationship. And it will cause a lot of suffering for you.
When a man does not want to get involved in a relationship and refuses to accept it, a woman tends to pursue him. Or else, she tries to “convince” him, which makes him run away even more. He then steps further back, causing feelings of fear and insecurity heavy in his partner.
So why stay in a toxic relationship? Fear of failure, fear of rejection, strong emerging feelings, emotional dependence, etc. There are many reasons for a woman to stay in a relationship with a man who makes her suffer…
The fault of the “pink glasses of love”
It must be said that once they put on “the pink glasses of love”, women tend to lose all critical thinking. The fault with oxytocin, the attachment hormone, which blinds the coldest of us from the first physical contact!
It then becomes difficult, when feelings mix, to take the necessary step back, and to take on the difficult decision to stop.
So how do you know for sure that you are in a toxic relationship? Here are 4 signs that will help you open your eyes.
Sign # 1: You are in a toxic relationship when you go through a constant emotional roller coaster
A toxic relationship is above all a succession of very strong emotions. So much so that, moreover, when it stops, women who have suffered a lot fall into a certain nostalgia. Life now seems so flat to them…
When her toxic companion makes her see all the colors, a woman can sink into depression. In a normal couple, these states are generally transient.
Open conversation, a hint of communication, and the problem solve itself.
On the other hand, in a toxic relationship, the problem is that the woman generally struggles to set her limits. She will not dare or will not be able to express her dissatisfaction, for fear of losing her companion and her uncertain relationship. The toxic situation will therefore either prolong and resolve with difficulty or recur at regular intervals.
Conversely, at the time of reconciliation, happiness will only be stronger by contrast. And what cements toxic relationships is that very often these moments of happiness do exist. And this is also why they are difficult to stop.
Thus, a woman struggling with a toxic relationship alternates moments of happiness and depression. The feelings are exacerbated, the more we suffer, and the more we love each other when the situation returns to normal.
And these are the ingredients of passion.
Sign n ° 2: You are the victim of a toxic relationship when you feel insecure all the time
In a normal relationship, it is common to sometimes doubt and fear that the romance will end. All the more so if one lacks a little self-confidence or suffers from the trauma of his past failures.
But in a toxic relationship, this aspect reaches new heights. The relationship does not have a solid foundation since the partner will tend to plunge the other into uncertainty and insecurity. For example, by expressing dissatisfaction, threatening to end the relationship, cheating on their partner …
Indeed, remember, the toxic partner is the one who runs away while the other pursues him. The woman victim will tend to always walk on eggs, so as not to risk injuring her partner. While he can afford some impunity …
And there again, this mechanism does not necessarily reveal a deep perversity. And yes, strangely, psychologists have demonstrated that it was a completely human reaction. When the other does not clearly set his limits, we allow ourselves to exceed them …
For a woman, building a secure relationship is fundamental, which explains our obsession with commitment. But in a toxic relationship, reports are constantly questioned as conflicts arise. The fear of losing the other is constant.
Thus, it is not uncommon for women in the turmoil of a toxic relationship to have a lump in their stomachs when they find their partner… As well as the feeling of being permanently exhausted.
Insecurity, fear, uncertainty, but also intense happiness and passion, toxic relationships are full of paradox. This is why they lead us to our last entrenchments.
