Relationships are difficult. Marriage takes a lot of effort.
And it is definitely not for everyone.
Here is a list of 47 tips to help you make a relationship last :
1. Surprise him/her.
Refuel him/her car. Let him/her sleep alone in the bed from time to time.
2. There are the good little things.
Hold the door, offer a movie night, have little attentions. The reward for these is greater than the sum of the parts.
3. And there are the bad little things.
Spit, clear your throat, clear your nose. There are thousands of little things that hurt your relationship.
4. Cultivate your greatest qualities.
When have you ever had the opportunity to actually work on the qualities that make you a better person? In a strong relationship, you can do this every day. Qualities like patience, loyalty, compassion, trust.
5. The bathroom is private.
If you think it’s lovely to brush your teeth while I use the toilet, you’ll quickly change your mind about it.
6. Don’t imagine yourself a fairy tale.
Get rid of your fantasies about the happiness of life as a couple. They don’t help. There is no script, so don’t be disappointed when your fairy tale changes.
Didn’t Jesus say forgive someone up to seventy times seven? That is to say 490 times… which should last you for your first 6 months. Jesus underestimated because, remember, he was not married.
8. And forget about it.
If you forgive, but remember, have you really forgiven? I know people who claim to have forgiven but always use every opportunity available to bring it out.
9. Be a good teammate.
Life can be very difficult. One of the good things about marriage and relationships is being able to have someone else in the bunker when you are bombed.
10. Grow up.
If you still have the same desires, opinions and beliefs at 50 as you did 25, it is your fault. You will not be, and should not be, the same person.
11. And adapt.
Even if you stagnate, the person you are in a relationship with will change. Don’t struggle. Embrace it, learn from it, be grateful.
12. Travel together.
Travel forces couples to support each other in unpredictable ways. It will also expand your worldview and how you value your relationship.
13. Travel separately.
I want to go to Australia and you want to go to Italy? Cool. Take lots of pictures. See you in a week.
14. Develop your own interests.
It sounds counterintuitive, but you will improve your relationship by pursuing your own interests.
15. Cultivate a large and diverse circle of friends.
One of the greatest joys in life is meeting new people. And a lot of people you meet will probably make you like your partner even more.
16. Do not count the household chores that everyone does.
I know a couple who watch the number of times each partner does a household chore. Don’t do that. It’s exhausting. And childish.
17. Talk about intimate intercourse (but not just before, during, or right after).
It’s an important part of any relationship. But for some reason, couples don’t want to discuss it unless they’re in the passion. Don’t make it a taboo subject.
18. Encourage yourself.
We all have insecurities. Your relationship is a place where you should be able to reveal them and your spouse should help you overcome them.
19. It’s okay to have secrets.
Everyone has the right to have their own little secret garden.
20. Avoid innuendo.
It’s a loose way of communicating. If you have something to say, say it. Don’t beat around the bush.
21. Turn down.
The toilet bowl.
Your dirty socks. Your used tissues.
23. Don’t over-romance past (or future) relationships.
24. Never use the “s” word.
Never tell yourself that you are “stupid”. It’s nothing smart.
25. Offer solutions, not criticisms.
Anyone can criticize. A good teammate will offer a solution.
26. Everything is a fair game for a joke.
It should be at the heart of everything you do. I didn’t find a single thing that I couldn’t laugh at. If you know it from the start, it makes things a lot more fun.
27. Have good manners.
Do not scream. Open the door. Hold back your gas.
28. Count your money.
No one lives on love. You need money. If you won it, you will definitely respect it. If you haven’t won it, you have to respect it even more.
29. Remember to say thank you.
Even and especially when things don’t seem to be recognized.
30. Think carefully before making decisions.
There will be times when you want to go, give up. You can do it. But you will probably do so without giving due consideration to the new life that awaits you. Will you be better in six months? 10 years?
To escape or grow. Either way, it helps.
32. Compliment yourself.
Sincerely and often.
33. Respect everyone’s friends.
No one is forcing you to carry anyone in your heart, but make an effort to respect them because it is important to your partner.
34. Learn to shut your mouth.
Learn to turn your tongue seven times in your mouth before you speak.
35. Respect everyone’s passions.
36. You are equal.
It doesn’t matter which of you makes the most money. It doesn’t matter which one of you has the best name. We don’t care which of you has the coolest food allergy.
37. Respect everyone’s space and time.
38. Be proud of your appearance.
Your wedding doesn’t give you a pass to constantly wear sweatpants and T-shirts.
39. Maintain good hygiene.
40. Ask before you throw something away.
41. Invite his family to special gatherings.
At least one time.
42. Don’t be mean.
43. Be independent
Learn how to do your own laundry. Learn to cook. To go shopping. To make an online purchase. Turn off the water at home. To unclog the toilet.
You owe it to yourself to have the best physical health possible. The mental effects of exercise will also be beneficial.
45. Practice self-awareness.
Look at yourself in the mirror frequently. Think about who you are and what contributions you make to your relationship. Do you give judgments? Are you unfair? Hard? Hypercritical? On the defensive?
46. Admit that you are wrong (although sometimes you are right.)
It’s the easiest, hardest thing to do on this list. But this simple gesture will pay immeasurable dividends. It will help you grow taller and it’s just the right thing to do.
47. Celebrate big and small accomplishments.
Whether it’s a promotion at work or the constable who let you walk away just with a warning, find every opportunity you can to celebrate your good fortune.