Arguments, a necessary evil? The therapists are unanimous if the quarrels crystallize the conflicts and unseat the unions, these wars are sometimes good and help to strengthen a couple, provided they know how to overcome them. What are the most common conflicts within a couple and how can they be beneficial?
A couple’s favorite battlegrounds? Finances, s ex, sharing of responsibilities, relationships with in-laws. A couple can better manage their conflicts around angry subjects, find a consensus without violence, without resentment and without undermining love. What are the 5 most unavoidable but also the most constructive quarrels for a couple?
Money feeds into falling out within a couple
Money is the first reason for a dispute in a couple. Tensions set in when the woman works hard or earns double her spouse. The power belongs to the one who wears the pants and the bondage to the one who is unemployed, who lives badly this dependence. The silver divided, even when the resources are abundant, many couples who have opposite relationship with money suffer. The flamboyant passes for the carefree and the thrifty for the stingy.
When you love, don’t you count? Not always true. To avoid conflicts, the couple should establish a budget, discuss tactfully, without taboo or embarrassment, their financial situation, their objectives and priorities. The question then becomes a joint responsibility.
S ex conditions couples without their knowledge
S ex is as difficult as the money to be approached within a couple, for fear of rushing, of breaking romanticism or out of modesty. For some people, talking about s ex breaks the charm or disrupts their life a little more, suddenly they do not talk about their s exual agreement, nor to say what is good, or what is going wrong. Others fear the outpourings of affection or do not dare to take the lead, and affirm their desires because they project themselves into the refusal of the other. By hiding this discomfort, the tension rises and ends up shattering the most vulnerable couples. The chosen words, reproaches, confidences or acerbic words define the contours of a couple’s s exuality. If one of the partners tries to explain what the other experiences in the s exual relation, the assailant of questions, it should be seen as a mark of interest and attention, even a concern. No need to point, to be on the defensive, there is no harm in saying what we like or not, his enjoyment and his desire that the other is not supposed to guess. The s exuality and the symbiosis of two bodies, it is not decided and especially does not pose an ultimatum, it is tamed and cultivated.
Fear my anger!
Managing negative emotions, anger in mind, is not an easy task. The virulent reactions of an angry spouse, very little inclined to question, undermine the quality of the exchanges and instinctively generate repetitive conflicts. A problem of size arises when the couple is made up of two personalities with hot broth temperaments and who lynch each other. It is impossible to avoid the contexts that take us out of our hinges, but It is very appropriate to know how to hold back our hostility and anger by remaining constantly attentive to the emotions of our partner. The blossoming of a couple depends above all on the serenity that each is able to maintain.
My beloved stepmother
The collusion between two partners can be altered by the intrusive intrusion of the beautiful family. School holidays, institutionalized lunches, education of children, being in a couple also implies having to deal with the mother “who knows everything and controls everything” of the other. But how do you find the right distance without making a stir in your relationship? It is advisable to speak about it without taboo to your spouse and to express your frustration and your impression of being invaded, and to work jointly to center the couple on itself. The rule of thumb is to not let anyone interfere in your conflicts.
Day-to-day responsibilities, who does what?
Doing the dishes or shopping, putting up the curtains, taking out the trash … In 2017, these tasks are unfortunately still poorly distributed within the family home. Result of the races: these inequalities, of which men remain little aware, are not without creating strong turbulence in couples. However, household chores if they have not finished being a source of arguments, they also help to tighten ties, or even boost libido, if they are done with dedication and a lot of empathy. For small and large chores, a couple has a vested interest in teaming up and investing more in the well-being of the couple.