Language creates experience, language connects with images and emotions. In a relationship, there are some phrases that are best not to say so as not to create problems or misunderstandings. Read all the details in this article.
Communication in a relationship is very important. However, sometimes we abuse our trust in each other. So there are words that you should not mention to your partner.
It is essential to curb our words before pronouncing certain sentences or certain words. Would you like to know what phrases to avoid saying to your partner? So keep reading this article.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together or if you’re telling each other everything. You have certainly argued more than once and the words have passed your mind.
Maybe back then you considered what you said to your partner as just an opinion or an appreciation.
However, your words may have hurt her feelings, leading to a major dispute.
Phrases to avoid telling your partner
It’s not about being silent and not saying what you feel or thinking, but how you express it.
Often, phrases, tones of voice, or words are used that lead to confusion or arguments. The conflicts in relationships are common and, for many of them predictable.
It is not possible to get along well 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Even if you are “all for each other,” there are times that are tense or not so pleasant.
One way to reduce conflict and misunderstanding is to be careful what we say.
So here is what you should avoid telling your partner, whether in the middle of an argument or before:
1) “Always”, “Never”
These two words that seem so harmless can create a lot of trouble if you use them as a rebuke. “You never clear the table when you’ve finished eating” or “We always have to do what you want”, are clear examples of the misuse of these two words.
Blunt accusations minimize the chances of having a friendly or constructive discussion.
If you use either of these two words at the start of a sentence, you are causing the other to shut down or become defensive. And so, he will only hear what he wants to hear!
You should change the way you express your request. For example: “I would like you to clear the table after dinner” or “This time, we could do my mind”.
Although you are saying the exact same thing as before, the tone is different and invites dialogue and help or participation.
2. “That’s how we do it”
This is another phrase that you should avoid saying to your partner, as it generates a similar reaction to the previous one.
Anyone who hears a “This is how we do it” or a “Me, I do it much better” will probably feel looked down upon and attacked. Of course, it all depends on the tone you use.
But in most cases playing the expert and telling someone, they don’t know how to do it creates problems.
Instead, we recommend that you be a little more flexible in the way you express yourself, using phrases like: “I would like to show you how I do” or “Do you want me to show you how I do?” “
Again, remember to go to your partner and allow them to participate. A couple is not a one-sided relationship, remember that.
3. “I told you so”
This expression suggests an air of superiority over the other. No one likes to be criticized, let alone by their partner. The famous “I told you so” accuse, demonstrate failure, generate arguments and violence.
If you don’t like being treated like an idiot or someone ineffective… don’t do it with your partner either!
Instead of using those hurtful words, which you should avoid saying to your partner, choose something like: “What can we do to make sure everything is okay next time? “Or” Do you want me to help you do it better “?
4. “My ex was like that”
Comparisons are not good, especially when it comes to relationships. Whatever happened, it must stay in the past.
Under no circumstances should you say, “My ex used to do it this way,” not even jokingly. It is certain that the other will not like it at all.
It can be quite hurtful to be compared to someone who was previously in your loved one’s life, especially if the comparison puts the ex-partner on a pedestal. “My ex was mowing the lawn without being told,” “My ex cooked the best pasta in the world”, and so on.
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and ask yourself, “How would I feel if he told me all the time about his ex and compared him to me”? Surely you would hate that.
5. “I don’t believe you”
To stop trusting yourself is scary, there is no doubt about it. However, sometimes it is ourselves who misconstrue what our partner is telling us, based on jealousy, insecurity, or past experiences.
If you suspect that your partner is not telling you the truth or is hiding something from you, instead of expressing your uncertainty or skepticism with an “I don’t believe you”, try another technique.
You can say something like “The story you are telling me is not very clear” or “I feel like you are not being completely sincere”. This way you will avoid direct accusations.
This will allow your partner to think about what they are saying or to go the extra mile to explain it to you in more detail.
Avoiding arguments with your partner can be difficult, but not impossible. Just avoid certain negative phrases and attitudes!