Talk Vs Argue
Do not argue.
The words we say to the other person have an impact on them as well as the relationship.
When your partner leaves the socks on the floor or the dirty dishes in the sink, you are filled with anger and annoyance.
Sure!
Most people would react and start a huge argument – about socks and plates!
There may or may not be a story as to why he left socks on the floor or the dirty dishes in the sink, but the point is that he did something that made you angry.
The most beautiful thing is that you have the option to react or not.
In the first month of my marriage, I realized this quickly.
Instead of making passive-aggressive comments while he watched TV, I simply asked him to take his socks off the floor – and he did!
It is not necessary to start an argument, much less an exhausting fight.
listen to each other
When I talked to my husband, I tried to prove to him that my path was always better.
Later, I realized he was right about where the bed should go.
Responding to what someone is saying is much easier than actually listening.
Have you noticed that when you express an idea and your partner just says ‘no’, do you feel like he’s not listening to what you’re saying?
You do it too!
Human beings want to be right about everything – that’s exactly how we are.
But this is also how discussions begin.
Instead of reacting to your words, really listen with an open mind and take it into consideration.
Hobbies
I was so excited to get married so I could have someone to ride my bike with, have breakfast in bed, help me with cleaning, play card games, watch horror movies, work out, and go on adventures!
I hate to break your high, this is an 80’s montage, not reality.
We didn’t do any of that together (other than cleaning).
Married life is very different from the way we imagined it when we were teenagers, and that’s not a bad thing.
He has his hobbies and I have mine.
You have to have time alone when you spend the rest of your life with someone.
Do you and your spouse share the same hobbies?
Budget
I am the money spender in the relationship while my husband saves every penny he finds.
This was a huge barrier that we both kept running through.
When I was single or engaged and I craved chocolate, I just bought it.
I was paying all my bills and putting money away in a savings account, so I never worried.
But I never thought about buying a house…or taking care of children.
I got that out of my head every time it came to my mind because it’s a lot of money and it stressed me out.
He loves money and how it works, so I trusted his financial education and we made a budget.
Because of this budget, I no longer have to stress or worry too much about our future.
The opposites attract themselves!
True love
The lovely love you had before marriage is fine, but nothing beats the love that happens after marriage.
There are no butterflies in your stomach or judgment when you cry at the movies.
A sense of comfort and total acceptance grows that didn’t exist before.
You depend on each other in more ways than before.
A new love emerges – one that is truly unconditional – and nothing beats it.
Absolutely nothing.
This content is accurate and faithful to the best knowledge of the author and is not intended to replace formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
