Many are those who find in silence a refuge to express their anger, their disappointment, their discontent … And as we are many to want to save our couple, we force ourselves sometimes to restrain ourselves in order to avoid offending our lover!
Couple: silence Vs communication?
Adopting the strategy of silence is a clue that can be interpreted in many ways. It expresses, on the one hand, our will not to give to the problem a large scale, and on the other hand the necessity to take again its personal space.
This is valid when the silence is spread over small periods. But when these episodes of isolation become long and more frequent, it may be the signal that your relationship is in danger, because the success of a couple is conditioned primarily by good communication.
Here are 5 LOVE-KILLS and how to avoid them:
Indifference:
When your partner blames you for something you do not like, do not tell him or her that he is abusing or what he says does not make sense. Instead, try to understand the reason behind his dissatisfaction.
How to conduct effective communication?
Overcoming the barriers to healthy communication is not easy, here are some recommendations:
Say Stop SMS:
The reason is simple, sending SMS is not the best way to convey your message even using emoticons. Effective communication is based first of all on your gestures and your tone during the conversation.
Choose a quiet place to discuss:
Be alone with your lover, prefer the quietest place, where the risk of distraction is the lowest.
Show empathy and active listening:
To say nothing does not always mean that you agree with what you are told or that you are from the same point of view. Nevertheless, it expresses your willingness to communicate and enter into a civilized conversation.
Hostility:
It’s your worst enemy, it’s the kind of attitude that demolishes the intimacy of your relationship. Your partner does not stop denying responsibility for something, or he just does not know it.
If the behavior does not change following countless remarks, silence will take over and you will not know what your partner thinks.
S**xual oppression:
The non-convergence of s**xual needs is often the last straw in a relationship, even more so if it is not taken seriously. If you do not show the same degree of desire as your partner, think he has had a long day or simply has problems in his job.
Psychoanalyst and s**xologist Pamela Stephenson-Connolly explain that you need to talk to and explain to your partner what is wrong with your relationship. Adopt a positive attitude to show a real desire to save your relationship. Be patient!
Disappointment :
A relationship goes through several stages and encounters many obstacles. Feeling disappointed repeatedly leads to heavy psychological fallout. One tip, do not go away with the idea that your partner is perfect. Be aware of this, you will fall from a lower height.
Dr. Mark Goulston, one of the best clinical psychiatrists in the United States, says you have to accept being disappointed, living well and then talking to your partner, it makes you feel less sad and to relieve the pain.
Lack of confidence:
Here is the best way to hurt your relationship. Not having enough confidence in one’s darling is a real concern usually due to previous experiences (being betrayed or dropped in the past). Take the time to understand your partner’s situation, listen to him and show him your willingness to overcome your problems together.
