Have you ever wondered why your man can’t seem to communicate with you?
At least in a way you can understand?
Here’s why that might be the case.
I want to roll my eyes at the thought of having a meaningful conversation with a guy and then walking away without learning a thing.
Because?
Because half the time I just don’t understand what they’re trying to say!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve texted a guy or even talked to him on the phone and been totally oblivious to what we’ve just discussed.
Women and men are super different beings – there’s no doubt about it.
Why is there a communication gap between the two genders?
You would think that for people who have to procreate to keep the Earth moving forward, we should be able to converse effectively, right?
Wrong.
A lot of misunderstandings come from situations where women just don’t understand what the hell a man is trying to say or vice versa.
One time I almost didn’t date someone because I wasn’t sure he was into mine.
When I told him later, he was completely shocked!
“How could you think I wasn’t?
I was showing all the signs!” I almost hit him on the head at that moment and there – to me, it was very clear.
Two Different Languages For Two Very Different Genders
So I thought, researched, and even interviewed a lot of men, and I discovered these 7 reasons why women just don’t understand men’s communication styles.
1. Men Don’t Feel The Need To Communicate All Their Thoughts.
“How was your day, honey?” she asked.
“It was good. And yours?” he replied.
She then detailed all the insignificant things about her day: who said what at the office, what she had for lunch, and even what she heard on the radio on the way home.
Women can be very confused by a man’s answer to such a simple question because that’s not how we would answer it.
We don’t understand that a man doesn’t want to waste time reliving his own day.
He probably just wants to relax and not worry about it.
As women, we can take this as a sign that he’s upset about something that happened and doesn’t want to talk about it — or worse, that he’s hiding something from us.
But honestly, ladies, he probably just had a good day, with nothing significant happening.
2. Men Have One Mind.
Now, this is not to say that men are stupid and don’t think about more than one thing at a time, but it does indicate that men are typically straightforward.
Have you ever told a guy you’re “fine” when you really meant you wanted to rip the head off the stuffed animal he got for you and shove it down his throat because you’re mad at him?
I know you have.
When men say they are “fine” they probably mean they are, in fact, fine.
However, if a woman hears this, she immediately starts to think about how when she says it, she means something that is basically the opposite.
This can lead to a lot of fights because a woman might demand to know what is wrong, but in reality, everything is really fine!
3. Men Almost Never Ask Questions.
Women don’t understand this for many reasons, the most prevalent being:
“How can you not have questions about the 50 things we just talked about? Did you understand everything or were you just not listening?”
Women seek clarity in conversations.
Who is this person?
Why did you do that?
What happened after that?
Men just listen *a few times* and take it all in, not really wanting too much detail.
This is so different from the way women communicate, which is why there can be such a disconnect between men and women during a conversation.
4. Men Don’t Like To Talk When They’re Upset.
This is probably the biggest difference between the genders that can have the biggest impact.
If men have a bad day or if something is wrong, they just want to be alone.
They don’t like to put their problems on someone else, trying to get feedback on how they should react.
Women don’t understand this, because we want to know everything to try to improve.
If the man is distant or quiet when we’re trying to talk to him, we’ll assume it’s something we’ve done, and so we’ll be annoyed.
We just don’t understand why anyone would want to suffer alone.
5. Men Don’t Like Repetition.
Women notice that things are changing throughout the day.
Even if you were having a good day before, things might have changed.
So we ask “how was your day” a few times.
Sometimes we don’t get a response, and that frustrates us a lot!
If nothing has changed, why don’t you speak up?
Tell us that everything is still going well.
Men tend to give an answer to something, and that’s it.
If his day has gone downhill since the last time you spoke, he will likely tell you what happened.
Women’s day (and emotions) tend to change much more often than men’s, which can also contribute to this difference in communication styles.
6. They Listen In Silence.
“You never listen to me!” she scolds.
All I do is listen because all you do is talk, he thinks silently (and wisely) to himself.
That kind of goes along with the fact that they never ask questions.
When two women are talking to each other, there is a LOT of back-and-forth play.
We make comments about something that has happened, express our agreements or disagreements, and provide guarantees.
But men often sit quietly, making us wonder if they’re listening.
Women don’t understand this.
If you’re listening, how can you have nothing to say after everything we’ve just said?
The truth is that men listen with the intention of listening.
Women listen with the intention of responding.
Men will hear everything you are saying, but they may not have anything relevant to contribute, so they will remain silent.
7. Women Want To Hear Questions, While Men Want To Tell.
We like to be asked how we are.
We want to ask ourselves why we are feeling a certain way and what we will do with our days.
Men… not so much.
Men are likely not to ask about your day.
If you’re upset, they think you’ll just buy it, because that’s who they are.
If they are involved in an accident, they will tell you.
If they were fired, they will tell you.
If they spontaneously went to see a movie, they will tell you.
They don’t expect you to ask them how their day was before they let you know if something amazing or horrible has happened.
Women, on the other hand, tend to look for a warning before letting you know how they feel.
This often makes us think that our men don’t care about our days.
But this is not the case.
He’s probably just on the assumption that you’ll tell him when there’s something important for him to know.
Conclusion
It all boils down to men and women having opposite ways of thinking, which can make communication difficult at times.
But as long as you both keep these differences in mind and don’t take them personally, you can be on your way to a more fulfilling relationship.
