Love is always considered to be one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Being in love is a beautiful feeling but also the most abused. Although falling in love is all about butterflies in the stomach and cute romantic moments in the beginning, the end is not always so smooth. Some of the worst pains we have ever experienced are related in some way to love in one way or another; It’s either about getting over a terrible breakup or just feeling rejected in general. We hate love, but we have a strong longing because somewhere we all want to feel important and most of the time we know that no other being could selflessly love us, we still long for it for the wrong reasons.
Reasons why you may hate love and relationships
1. Because you have questioned your self-esteem and have felt rejection
When we love someone, we want that love to be reciprocated by that person and if that person does not feel for us what we feel for them, it leaves us devastated and questioning our self-esteem. We feel rejected and heartbroken and somewhere we also begin to believe that we are unlovable. If you have felt this way, you are terrified of feeling it again and it has become one of the reasons to hate loving or hating the idea of a relationship … you must understand that it was not you, sometimes life simply has other plans, you are not to blame! I know it’s hard, but you need to give love another chance because you deserve all the joy and happiness that comes with a happy relationship.
2. Because people made you believe that there is only one type of promise: false promises
If you’ve been in toxic relationships before, chances are you now believe that because of your previous bad experiences with lies and false promises, everyone will do the same to you. I can understand how past bad experiences can make someone hate relationships and love, but believe me, all it takes is a good experience to believe again.
3. Because you have loved people who did not deserve it
We’ve all heard the phrase that we don’t choose who we fall in love with. This is true, but we are fully capable of turning away from someone who does not have that love to give in return. Loving the wrong person can be exhausting and extremely devastating. If you’ve done that, I can understand how tired you are of giving it to people who haven’t appreciated it, which is why you are justified in feeling tired of loving and relationships.
4. Because you feel that love makes you lose control
We have all experienced how powerful love can be. Love is blind is something that is commonly said, but it is not only that. It is a ghost that owns you and takes over all your senses, not just your sight! If you have ever been in love with a toxic person, you know what to leave that person, even if they are mistreating you and making you feel tiny; you stay with them for love. Love makes you believe that you would die without them! But when the love is gone, you start to see how unworthy they are and you are amazed at the way you acted when you were supposed to leave. If that’s why you want to stay away from love, it’s understandable, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re missing out on a healthy relationship where both of you would be haunted by the same ghost and want to.
5. Because you just don’t think it’s worth the time and emotional investment it takes
Love can be exhausting when you don’t have time for it! There is no doubt that love and commitment to someone took time and effort from both ends and considering your busy life with work and family you just don’t have time for that and keeping up with appointments is exhausting for you. Well, then this is one reason why you shouldn’t fall in love if you’re already happy with it. Give it a try when you feel it will add value to your life and no longer drain your energy.
6. Because your parents had an abusive relationship
This is a profound but very common reason. If as a child, your parents had an abusive relationship with each other and you grew up watching your mom curled up crying in her bed while your dad was drunk in the living room, chances are high that this is where your hatred for love began. . They taught you the wrong meaning of love. They taught you that love is a pain when in reality it is the opposite. You don’t hate real love; You hate the wrong image that your traumatic childhood has painted of love. In this scenario, the best option for you is to seek professional help.
7. When a loved one dies, a part of you dies with them
If you hate loving because you lost someone you loved very much, it’s okay if the incident didn’t happen a long time ago. You can’t help but think that if love wasn’t there, you wouldn’t be going through what you are now regardless of whether the person is alive or not, you would be indifferent … but would you replace that feeling of indifference with all the happy memories of the deceased? Would you choose not to know the beautiful soul at all so as not to feel this anguish? I don’t think you … Take your time to cry but don’t give up on love … the deceased soul won’t want you to give up on love either.
How to deal with and fix a love-hate relationship
To deal with a love-hate relationship, you must first be emotionally stable. You can’t expect things to fall into place if you don’t take care of your emotional health. Choose to focus on improving your mental health first, only then can you fix a love-hate relationship. However, if you have tried your best but still cannot fix this relationship, you should seek help from a professional. Go to a relationship counselor and share everything with him. Let this person help you, as there is nothing wrong with seeking help. Take the advice given by the counselor seriously and work to improve your relationship. Decide what to do next and learn what you need to let go of. If it is your ego that is destroying your relationships, then learn to let go of the ego and try to make things work. Nevertheless, efforts must be mutual. One person alone cannot fix a dying relationship. It will be necessary for both of you to resolve your differences and work to improve the relationship.
The bottom line is that feeling indifferent towards relationships and love is completely normal as that means you are not closing a door, you just have other things to prioritize right now. If you hate love and relationships, there must be some kind of traumatic experience or fear that makes you feel this way and it must be addressed and worked on. I hope this article has been helpful to you in discovering why you may have this negative feeling towards love and how you should approach it. I wish you all the best in your future projects with love!