Everyone can, unfortunately, suffer from anxiety disorders at some point in their life. Anxiety is a complex and difficult disease to manage. If you are dating an anxious person, you need to learn some things about this ailment.
In love, everything cannot be perfect. There are times when we go through complicated times, times of stress and a little anxiety, like after an argument. In some people, this discomfort can be much worse to live with. In anxious people, for example, arguments can be synonymous with anxiety attacks or panic attacks.
If your partner is suffering from anxiety, there are certain things that you need to know, to better understand him and thus be able to help him. You must try to put yourself in his place, to better manage his reactions, which are not necessarily against you.
“It’s important not to give up on the person because of their anxiety if everything else is fine,” said Paulette Sherman, a New York-based psychologist at Women’s Health.
Take the time to understand the anxiety
You cannot support your partner if you know nothing about anxiety and its syndromes.
There are different types of anxiety disorders: generalized anxiety disorder, which is a state of constant worry, social phobias, panic attacks, panic disorder with or without agoraphobia, post-traumatic stress disorder and disorders obsessive-compulsive.
By learning about their various ailments and talking to your partner, you can understand how they feel and learn some tips to soothe them in the event of an attack.
Listen to them
Ask your partner questions, ask him to explain his feelings about anxiety, his daily life, etc. At that time, do not give your opinion, just listen to it and give it a listening ear.
“Listen to him and let him know that this is important to you and that you care about him,” says Paulette Sherman. “Most people just want to be loved and cared for,” she adds.
Try to understand them
When discussing anxiety with your partner, try to establish the things that can cause anxiety or worry, but also what can soothe him. It is important what may have scared him in the past, what a panic attack looks like and how he managed to calm down.
Understand that it is not against you
You should keep this in mind, because even if your partner panics or blames you for certain things, sometimes it can be because of his anxiety. You should not take it for yourself and on the contrary, try to understand what is happening and to appease your partner.
“In a love story, it is easy to feel rejected if the person does not give you news or does not seem very present. If your partner is anxious, perhaps he is afraid to contact you or that ‘he’s too shy,’ says Paulette Sherman. In this case, you can discuss it directly with them.
Do not be afraid of their emotions
Sometimes anxiety can completely paralyze a person’s emotions and prevent them from acting normally. Your partner can sometimes scream or get upset because of his anxiety. To avoid this, you must make sure to remain as calm as possible, in an attempt to appease it.
Be careful, you must be there for your partner but that does not leave him the right to manhandle you. You should feel safe with him, even if he is suffering from anxiety.
Try to alleviate your own anxiety
Yes, anxiety can quickly become contagious. By panicking, your partner can start to stress you too.
“Anxiety is an energy that can, unfortunately, be transmitted,” says the psychologist. “Even if it is not part of your temperament, you may have to experience some anxiety in the company of your anxious partner,” she adds.
To fight this and avoid falling into a big vicious circle, you must do everything to try to stay calm and put things in perspective. So you can try some simple tools like meditation or yoga.
Remember: you are not their psychologist
Be careful, it is not because you are trying to understand it and become interested in anxiety that you have become an expert. Your goal is to support him as much as you can but you can’t help him more than that.
If his anxiety begins to intrude on your romantic relationship or on his daily life, recommend that he consult a specialist to determine the causes of his anxiety and manage to alleviate it.
Above all, remember that everyone can suffer from anxiety at some point in their life. If your partner is going through a difficult period, it’s normal for him to be anxious.