Knowing how to put yourself in someone’s shoes and showing empathy is one of the best ways to have the final say in an argument because it allows us to focus on finding the solution.
No one likes having arguments with their loved ones. However, they are sometimes necessary in order to be able to agree or express our points of view. In this article, we’ll give you some tips so that you can have the final say in an argument.
Prepare for the next exchange that wouldn’t be entirely friendly.
How to win an argument?
Starting from the fact that it is not good to argue and that it is always better to come to an agreement as civilized people, what is certain is that some people around us do not “know” to act other than with a discussion which rises in the towers.
Beyond avoiding these situations that lead to an argument, the next step could be learning how to win a conversation. Pay attention to the following tips:
1. To be civilized
Remember that arguments are irrational and do not allow us to think properly. Staying calm is one of the main tools we have at our disposal in order to be able to win an argument.
We will be more receptive to the other person’s arguments and let go of emotional connections. So we can think logically and we won’t get carried away by our feelings.
Being civilized also means respecting the opinion of the other and letting them speak (in the tone they want) without us changing our attitude.
2. Have information
One of the best ways to get past your opponent (to call him that) is to have all the information you need to refute or emphasize an idea.
In order to speak properly, we must have all the information available. Perhaps the other speaks in ignorance and once we present compelling facts he may change his mind.
It is not a question of arguing in order to argue, but of putting on the table the tools or the resources necessary for the interlocutor to see things in another way.
3. Don’t make it personal
Arguments sometimes arise because of things that are beyond us or that have no direct connection with us. For example, if your boss is in a bad mood over a customer who spoke badly to him and wants to blame you on you when you have nothing to do with the story.
If you make an argument personal, the battle is lost. Why? Because it is likely that feelings will surface or that this attack does not let you see things clearly.
4. Not wanting to win
Precisely one of the ways to win an argument … is not to want to win it! It may sound a little confusing, but it is not at all!
If during an altercation with someone your attitude shows that you are fighting to the death and nothing will be able to change your mind, the other will do the same.
On the other hand, if you show interest in your opponent’s words and intend to come to an agreement that benefits both sides, it is more likely that you will stick with your “arguments”.
5. Look from another point of view
Maybe something that won’t be a problem for you will be a problem for the other (or vice versa).
Changing the perspective of the situation can be a big help in winning an argument without having to accept everything you are told but still understand the reasons.
Knowing that we are understood is the first step in opening the shell we put on when we argue. It also allows us to deviate from the argument and focus on the solution, which, in the end, is the same as coming out on top.
6. Don’t get distracted
This is one of the fundamental things, because it will strengthen your beliefs or the intention to find an answer to the problem.
When we argue, it is possible that our interlocutor is trying to deflect the topic of the conversation by talking about things from the past that are not yet resolved or that they have kept to themselves.
When that happens, try to get back to the main topic. Don’t let the conversation branch out because, on the contrary, it might never end.
7. Ask open-ended questions
This technique can also be very useful in winning an argument, as it allows all parties to think of a solution.
Instead of asking accusatory or specific questions, you can ask them in a way that creates a “game”.
For example: how do you think we could improve our finances? What do you think we both choose our vacation destination? How can we prevent our customers from going to see the competition? etc.
8. Control emotions
It is essential to underline this subject because in the arguments our feelings resurface and we cannot manage or calm them.
It is difficult to control emotions, especially when it comes to sensitive or delicate subjects; however, it is not impossible.
How can we avoid being guided by them? By staying calm, breathing deeply, and, if necessary, taking a walk in the park.
Remember that the shouting person is not stronger or the crying one is not weaker, but in order to win an argument, we must be calm and in total control of our thoughts and emotions.
Obviously carrying out all of these techniques or tips is something that takes a lot of practice, concentration, and attention. The best part is that the results will be visible and it will make you want to keep improving.