“It’s hard to admit that you’ve fallen in love with someone you can’t have. “
We have practically all experienced this at least once in our life:
Fall in love with someone you can’t have.
Whether it’s your best friend, or someone’s partner you know, your coworker, or just someone who lives too far away.
It’s a particularly painful experience, and many of us have been through this experience, wondering why we ended up wanting someone we can’t have.
Here are 8 ways to deal with the pain of loving someone you can’t be with:
1. LEARN TO COMPARTMENT
This is an important tool in making sure your mind isn’t fixated on your unrequited love when you’re not together. When you spend time with them, be sure to make the most of your time together. However, when you are not with, do not let your mind continue to wander towards that person and prevent you from doing your job.
2. LIMIT CONTACT TO CURE YOURSELF
Sometimes it’s time to stop letting your heart rule your head. If you are experiencing pain and unrequited love after months or years, it may be time to limit the contact you have with that person.
It might be overwhelming at first, but you just open up old wounds every time you’re together. It’s time to give yourself the space to heal.
3. PROTECT YOUR FEELINGS
Being that person’s friend is quite possible. You can be there for her when she needs it, but you also need to be able to know when it is going too far. Learn to protect your feelings and set boundaries. If you find it difficult to listen to this person when they are having problems with their partner, you can set this limit. Make sure you take care of yourself first.
4. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH OTHER FRIENDS
Surrounding yourself with other friends is a great way to make sure you are not alone. If you’re hopelessly in love with your best friend and can’t have him, you can isolate yourself pretty quickly.
Instead, make sure you have other friends who support and understand you, so that you can always have someone to turn to when you’re feeling down about your unrequited love.
5. MEET OTHER PEOPLE
The best way to forget someone is to go out with other people. It’s important not to compare the new people you date with your unrequited love. Not only will you feel bad, but the person you are dating will have to live by impossible standards. Appreciating people for who they are will open you up to all kinds of new relationships, even if you don’t fall in love with every new person you date.
6. ENJOY YOUR TIME TOGETHER
When you’re spending time with someone you love but can’t have, it can be tempting to ask for more. However, it will only lead to rejection and more pain. Instead, focus on the time you spend together. Focusing on the good times you have means you’ll have more good memories to remember so you don’t waste your time thinking about how badly you want to be with.
7. LOOK FOR A HOBBY TO STAY BUSY
When we’re desperately in love with someone we can’t have, it can be hard to focus on anything else. Instead, try to shift your focus away from other things, like hobbies.
Look for something you really like and put your energy into it. You will find that time will pass much more easily, and you might even stop thinking about it all the time. Find ways to distract yourself, it will be easier for you to move on.
8. TELL HIM WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL
Expressing how you feel about the person in question can be one of the best things you can do to help you cope and move on. You don’t want to expect anything from this person, because that will only lead to more heartache. Instead, just be honest with how you feel, and how your unrequited love has hurt you.
This person deserves to know how you feel about them just as much as you deserve to tell them.
