Make his mother adore you
Nervous about meeting your man’s mother and getting her to like you? Here are 9 simple things you can do to ensure your bond is well with his mom!
Moms can be pretty tricky, especially if they’re very protective of the child you’re dating.
For most women, it can feel like a rivalry for attention and affection.
You want your boyfriend to shower you with love, but of course, his mother deserves some of that love too.
It can even spell trouble when you and his mother give conflicting advice.
Unlike the horror stories, you might see in many romantic comedy movies and series, getting his mom to like you, isn’t as difficult as it sounds.
So unless you’re dating a guy whose mom is being particularly difficult or averse to you, just follow these tips and you’ll be fine.
1. Getting to Know Her Outside of Her Mother Role.
When you think of your boyfriend’s mother, what might instantly come to mind is a younger version of her taking care of a child version of her boyfriend.
But beyond that mental image, there’s more to her than just being the woman who took care of him in his youth.
There’s a lot you can deduce from conversations with your boyfriend or things you find at his parents’ house.
You can see that she went to a certain school, that she loves the Beatles, or that she is a business executive at a big company.
Keep this non-maternal information in your mind and bring it up during the conversation.
She will definitely open up a little more to you.
2 Avoid Generic Courtesies.
Nothing makes you look more boring than a wooden board than just saying, “Nice to meet you” and “how are you?” in every conversation.
We’re sure your brain can muster a little more than that! Get some information from your boyfriend and ask him what your mom is doing so you can ask about it when you see her.
If she is traveling on business, ask her about her travels.
If she’s recently seen a certain movie, you can mention that you saw it too.
If she has just recovered from an illness, ask her how she is feeling.
You want her to remember you, so you better broaden your conversational game.
3. Have an Opinion.
Again, you’re not aiming for a wooden personality, so an opinion is important.
However, we suggest avoiding talking about religion, politics, or parenting.
As far as everything else goes, though, don’t just politely nod whenever his mother says something.
One common thread you can agree on might be actors from the Golden Age of Hollywood.
The likes of Richard Burton and Cary Grant will certainly remind her of the classic movies she loved as a young girl.
You might mention that you prefer Marlon Brando’s charms alongside bad boy James Dean.
It’s sure to spark a friendly debate.
The same goes for Brazilian soap operas and series.
4. Learn More About His Mother’s Passions.
Find out what she’s passionate about, whether it’s music, movies, art, animals, or food.
Once you know what it is she likes, make sure to read on and find out more.
If possible, feel the kinds of things she likes to eat, watch, or listen to.
When you mention that you’ve tried some of these things, she might be impressed that you went through the trouble.
She might even teach you a thing or two about it.
Even if it’s not your thing, always try to find something constructive about it.
She doesn’t expect you to be a younger version of herself, but she can expect you to be a little more open about what she likes.
5. Show Her How Well You Know Her Son.
Mothers always worry about whether or not you can take care of their child.
Your boyfriend’s mother has been there since he was born, so she would obviously know every detail about him, from the age he gave his first tooth to the name of his favorite teacher.
But as her son grows older, she realizes that she can no longer know every minute detail of his life.
That’s where you must come in.
Fill it in with things your child may not have mentioned.
For example, you could say that you had lunch with some of his childhood friends, who your mother also knows.
And then you can ask about what they were like as children.
This allows you to bridge the information gap between stages in your boyfriend’s life.
6. Ask Her About Her Boyfriend’s Childhood.
If you know any mothers, you may have heard that children grow up very fast.
When the children are older and independent, they cherish the memories of those days when the child was just a little boy who cried to his mother for every silly thing he did.
Encourage your mom to share these little details with you.
This allows her to remember the times when her precious boy was hers alone.
And it gives her an insight into the little things he loved when he was a kid.
It can also get a good laugh when his mom shares funny stories of the silly things he used to do or say as a kid.
7. Ask for Advice.
His mother would love it if you asked her for advice once in a while.
It makes her feel involved in her son’s life, and I wish I knew you’d have time to ask.
It’s best to start small, so first, ask her for some advice on small things like home decor, types of food your boyfriend might like, or even home remedies for minor problems.
Later, when you get to know her much better, you can ask for advice on more personal matters if you feel you still need it.
8. Gifts Can Help Too.
A few gifts here and there might make her a little more sympathetic to you, as long as you do it wisely.
Do this often and she might feel like you’re trying to buy her approval.
Don’t do anything and she might think you don’t care about her.
Gifts for her birthday and Christmas, plus a few small random gifts scattered throughout the year are good ideas.
Giving a gift must be something you’ve considered a lot.
You can’t just buy her a bunch of random things that could end up gathering dust.
Find out from your boyfriend (or from your conversations with her) if she likes clothes, perfumes, cosmetics, or home decor.
Then choose an item that suits her tastes and not just yours.
9. Recognize She Will Always Be His First Love.
She is not your rival; she is the key to her man’s past.
Respect her and thank her for her efforts in raising her child the way she did.
Even if she’s not the perfect mother, she’s the one who turned a little boy into the man you ended up falling in love with.
Nothing makes a man’s heart more comfortable than the fact that his girlfriend and mother get along.
Use these tips to understand a mother’s good side and get along with her.
Exerting the effort now would save you a lot of trouble in the long run!