No need to wait for Valentine’s Day to celebrate your love. It is often the small daily attention that makes all the difference. Here are 9 good reflexes that make couples happy.
In a healthy relationship, there is no shortage of proof of love and support. No special occasion is expected to show affection. We sincerely appreciate paying attention marks “just like that”, without it being necessary.
We asked specialists in romantic relationships to tell us what kind of attention, big or small, happy couples carry themselves of their own free will. Here are their answers.
1- They hear from each other
“Whether it’s a little hello via SMS or a call to ask: ‘So how did it go?’, The happy couples communicate. They call each other to say: ‘I’m going to be late’, ‘We’re coming to land ‘,’ Do you want me to go shopping while coming back? ‘ The underlying message is, ‘I think of you.’ They thus have the feeling of being connected, of being an integral part of the life of the other. ”
2- They compliment each other
“No need to make tons of it, a spontaneous remark like: ‘It was very good!’ Even if some couples function very well without sharing positive comments, most people appreciate that their actions are recognized, and happy couples do not hesitate to do so. “
Samantha Rodman, psychologist, and romantic dating coach.
3- They leave little words, just like that
“Giving the other person a card saying, ‘I think of you’ or ‘Thank you for everything you do’ is a lovely gesture. It makes them feel special, in addition to reminding you of how lucky you are. It’s even more fun to hide the card where the other person doesn’t expect it. My husband loves leaving words in the fridge and me under his pillow. ”
Susan Pease Gadoua, marriage therapist and co-author of “The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels” ).
4- They are generous and are not resentful
“Generosity is something you give freely, without expecting anything in return. In a lasting relationship, you tend to want to do more than your share of household chores or small attentions to show the other that love it, whether it’s washing their clothes or taking them for a walk in their favorite corner of the promenade. Filled couples prefer to preserve their happiness by being generous and attentive rather than resentful. ”
Kari Carroll, marriage therapist.
5- They speak freely about their feelings and emotions
“When we have the impression that we have to draw the worms from the nose of his or her partner so that he or she tells us of his feelings, we can feel very lonely. Happy couples may not communicate permanently or in-depth, but they do it enough to know that they know each other well.
6- They are not afraid to say “Thank you”
“Complacency and routine can quickly become established in a long-term relationship. To rekindle the flame, there is nothing better than making your partner happy by highlighting everything he or she regularly It’s important to know that you matter to someone, and strong couples know that you have to say it often. Even if your love is in no doubt for you, take into account the efforts and contributions from your partner can strengthen your relationship.
7- … or “I love you”
“And they say it in an impromptu, unsolicited and unexpected manner. It is very frequent that a spouse says it more than the other. Generally, one says it and the other follows. I hear too often l ‘excuse:’ I don’t want to abuse it. ‘ In a happy couple, the two partners take the initiative to say it, really thinking it. ”
Kurt Smith, a therapist specializing in men’s counseling.
If your partner doesn’t do all of these things, don’t panic. Romantic relationships are built up little by little and, if you do not find your account, talk about it with him. You don’t read his mind. He or she either.
8- They surprise each other with their favorite dish…
“Everyone knows that eating is a great way to bring people together. But making a detour to bring back to the other a special dish that they will definitely like is a wonderful way to say, ‘I don’t’ love it. If, in addition, it is you who are in the kitchen, you will score even more points! ”
Susan Pease Gadoua.
9- … or a clean car
“Whether you do it yourself or in a car wash, your partner will surely be delighted to see his vehicle in the driveway with its shiny rims.”
Susan Pease Gadoua.