And that makes you wanna kill him
On a daily basis, your Darling is a cream, an angel, a real gift from heaven, and you wake up every morning blessing heaven for having put him in your way (or almost).
Except that sometimes he goes completely wrong, and does things that get on your nerves so much that you want to kill him on the spot. Small anthology of those irritating things that your boyfriend sometimes does.
Cut your toenails in front of you
Of course, when you live 24 hours a day with someone, there are bound to be times that are less glam than the others … But you can’t help wondering why Chéri is still waiting for you to be quietly reading a book on the couch to cut her toenails right in front of you. And not with a nail clipper, no no. With the scissors of his Swiss army knife. Sigh.
Come and put a grain of salt when you cook
For your darling, cooking is cooking pasta and adding an industrial sauce to it. And you accept it. What you do not accept at all, however, is when you spend time in the kitchen to prepare a duck pie for him, and he shows up like a flower in the kitchen after 45 minutes ( not to help you eh, to come and get a soda from the fridge) to tell you “are you sure your mash is not too runny?”. Inhale, exhale, put down this sharp kitchen knife, everything will be fine …
Variation: m**an when there is no meat in the dish
Tonight, like 99% of the time, you cook. You are trying to make a balanced and somewhat sophisticated dish, like “lentil and carrot gratins with a salad of young shoots”. Very proud of the result, you bring it all back to the table, and there, you see Chéri pouting like “where did my meat and my potatoes go?”. Inhale, exhale, put this knife back down … or not!
Pick your nose in public
Already when he does it in private it’s horrible and you reprimand him severely, so when he goes into caving mode with his index finger in his nose in the middle of a family reunion and you feel Tata Annie’s eyes on him, you just want to kill him. And kill yourself right after.
Double-talk when he’s with his friends
With You: “Too happy to have done this improv class with you, we shared a lot of things, we are eager to start again”.
With them: “Too stupid, she forced me to take an improv class with her, I thought I was going to die, I hope we will never do it again.” ”
You: grrrrr, I’ll kill him!
Collect empty bottles
A passion that comes to him from his student years, and which he unfortunately kept. That’s why your mantel is now adorned with a magnificent collection of empty whiskey, rum, and gin bottles that collect dust. Okay, well, here’s what …
Spend Saturday playing online on your computer
And online with his friends please, just to hear him scream things like “watch out Jim, there’s a zombie behind you !!” ” all day. The worst? When at 6 p.m. you tell him, looking half sad, half reproving, that you did not imagine the first day of your weekend like that, and that he answers you curtly that if you wanted to do things as a couple, you just had to tell him. Grrr …
Give his opinion on your clothing
His “wardrobe” is made up of 4 shirts and 3 pants worn to the rope, he has no sense of the look, but Monsieur still pays himself the luxury of telling you that your pair of leopard boots does not follow suit. really with your red silk blouse. LOL.
Farting in bed
And then deny by saying that “it’s not him”, that he does not smell “any suspicious odor” … then end up confessing by saying that it is your fault, that you make him eat too many crucifers in this moment. Well done, he won a night on the couch!
