By starting a relationship with someone who is emotionally hurt, you run the risk that they will abandon you when they feel better, and that you in turn are in bad shape.
Are you attracted to an emotionally hurt person, someone who is still heartbroken?
Some people tend to take on a role of savior or healer. These people are then drawn to people who feel the need to be saved by someone.
Rescuers are then unaware of the risk they run in starting a relationship with an emotionally hurt person. A grieving person who, in reality, would have to spend time alone in front of themselves to heal their wounds.
The savior complex
People who have the savior complex are very attentive to injured people.
It can be a person destroyed due to a toxic relationship, a person victim of violence, a humiliated person… In other words, a person who has not been properly loved. The savior then welcomes her, thinking that she cannot fend for herself.
The savior heals his wounds. He brings him a thousand and one hopes until a step forward occurs.
You may recognize yourself and be one of the people with this profile. If you have Savior Complex, the explanation for this behavior may be among the following:
- Your parents weren’t able to meet your basic needs properly when you were a child. So you did not receive the tenderness and attention you needed. This is why you give to others what you have not received.
- Your relations as a couple were all authoritarian and aggressive. This is why you are interested in people with the opposite profile. Vulnerable and injured people whom you consider to be perfect spouses.
- You seek to please others since your earliest childhood by taking care of them and making them happy at all times. This position is also very comfortable for you.
- Your fear of abandonment and rejection leads you to think that by pleasing and healing the wounds of others, they will want to be with you and return the favor to you.
As you can see, welcoming a wounded person without giving them time to heal themselves is the consequence of a difficult experience that the Savior himself had.
Starting a relationship with a wounded person often ends up hurting the Savior himself.
The rebirth of the injured person
This is almost always the case: the injured person ends up recovering from their injuries and moving forward thanks to the care provided by their rescuer.
But what happens when she is reborn? She spreads her wings and leaves, leaving behind the person who has taken charge of sharing her pain and her loneliness.
This situation destroys the savior who then saw the situation very badly, not only because he gave everything to someone who was suffering, but because he felt that he had nothing left.
In addition to picking up the broken pieces, the savior must regain his dignity, and above all to face his deepest fears: loneliness, abandonment, and the humiliation of not being chosen.
You have to save yourself
People used to behave like saviors think of this as a positive attitude. However, the savior deprives the other of the opportunity to face their fears on their own.
We cannot save others. While trying to save someone, the other will not become emotionally stronger, and will not know that he can recover from a difficult situation on his own, and that he does not need anyone to fight his own battles…
By entering into a relationship with an injured person, the rescuer takes the risk of healing someone who may later abandon them and become a toxic person.
If you have the Savior Complex, take this information into consideration, and stop having relationships with injured people, people who feel incomplete. To start a healthy relationship, both people must have resolved their problems beforehand.
If not, the relationship will be doomed to failure, and in the worst case, it will hurt people more than they thought.