And if accepting this pain was the best option to start!
You are human and you can take a tender and understanding look at yourself , accept your emotions and feelings which have their reason for being. You allow yourself to suffer, feel pain, and even make mistakes.
FACING YOUR PAIN:
- What could be more normal than being angry when you have been betrayed or humiliated
- What could be more normal than being sad or devastating, by noting that beyond the loss of your spouse, you also lose the projects that you have done together, your family life, your family accommodation …
- What is more normal to feel guilty or to have regrets when you are the initiator of separation and see your ex unhappy
- What could be more normal than to imagine yourself together again and forget this bad moment of your life
- What could be more normal to be afraid to assume this new life alone
- What could be more normal than to fear a loss of financial comfort
- What could be more normal than to feel resentment over these painful events
- What could be more normal than feeling anger, jealousy, resentment when your ex quickly “replaces” you
- What could be more normal than to find it a beautiful waste, to have a feeling of failure
YES IT’S NORMAL !
You have the right to feel it all. It is part of the grieving , detoxification process. Relationship with one another can be like a drug that intoxicates you and you still need your small dose at times. The cure is on the way! And you can feel addicted to each other.
All these emotions, these feelings will pass over time.
Taking care of yourself takes time. It also takes time to heal from these sufferings , for remission. Everyone has their own rhythm, to rebuild themselves! The initial isolation period is often necessary.
There is therefore no point in forcing yourself to “move on” as soon as you break up, or to suppress the feelings that would always exist for the other. It is ineffective to be in denial of your emotions, as painful as they are! Accept them and you will advance more easily towards your new life .
Wouldn’t it be absurd to pretend that everything is going well, as if you don’t suffer from this heartache?
Then comes the time to remember that we can exist outside of the couple!
The day will come when what you imagined impossible becomes POSSIBLE . This extraordinary moment when you will notice with a relief mixed with nostalgia, that it is finished, that the suffering is gone , that anger, sadness, resentment, idea of revenge … are no longer part of your life and that finally you feel reborn, ready to face this new life.
So, have you gone through all the stages of mourning for your couple?
Some people get through the stages more or less quickly, while others get stuck in anger or sadness, others in another emotion. They are stagnating, the mourning process is on hold.
Breaks can last a few weeks, sometimes several months, and even a few years! And yes, it happens regularly.
The difficulty is to recognize that you are no longer moving forward.
- How long have you been in this emotion?
- Do you find that fair?
- Do you want to get out?
- And if you had a good reason not to move forward, what would it be ?
SO MANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF AND FIND YOUR ANSWERS THERE!
By reading this article, perhaps you recognize that these steps are difficult to take. Perhaps you have this feeling of helplessness in the face of the situation, but understand that what you are going through is normal and that you need to wean yourself from it.
It is therefore important to organize to manage the lack and to move towards your new life.
And if during this period, you learned to live with the most important person in the world, but with whom you did not take the time to live: YOU!
Live in colloquy with yourself and see how you love yourself! Are you already happy to live with yourself? Do you like your values, your behaviors, are you proud of yourself, what you are, what you do?
It is not a question here of judging yourself, but on the contrary of doing a work of introspection on oneself which will also help you build your new life with more authenticity and serenity.