After a date, we are ashamed to call first. How long do I have to wait to take this step? We give you an answer in this post.
Do I have to wait for him to call me or can I call him first? Would I look desperate if I made contact? If he’s not communicating, is it because he’s not interested? Questions accumulate in our heads and there is no room for the rest. We solve your doubts in this article!
Will he call or should I call him?
This question is as existential as Hamlet’s “to be or not to be” . This puts us in a very difficult situation! Because on the one hand we want to wait until he shows that he’s interested, but on the other hand, we can’t wait to know what he thinks and if we can see him again.
If you’ve given him your number and he doesn’t call you, you’ll automatically think he doesn’t like you. Eventually, you will calm down and realize that he may be busy or waiting a bit to communicate with you, as popular opinion is that it is not okay to appear desperate or anxious.
When after a date with someone the other does not show signs of life, you may also ask yourself, can I call first? In fact, there is nothing stopping you from doing it, there are no laws that prohibit it.
You can spend the whole day with your cell phone in your hand, even dialing its number, but hesitate a thousand times before clicking “call”. You are very embarrassed and you don’t know how he will take it! What if he’s at work? What if it seems wrong to take this step? Do I sound desperate? What if… This fairly redundant condition pushes us to do what we want.
Take a decision
A young man may not pay as much attention to “I called her back the next day” or “I waited a week to send her a message.” Or maybe you are thinking about when the best time will be to talk to that boy you love so much.
Keep in mind that for him it is also a shameful thing to call you after meeting you or having a date with you. And he is probably waiting for the right time. What will be the perfect time? When you are not working, you are studying, shopping, or having coffee with your friends. It can be very difficult to find the perfect schedule!
And, even if you think you are calm in your home and can talk without problems, there is a possibility that it will bother him!
What happens if I decide to call her first?
While there is no rule that says how much time we should let pass before seeing each other again or talking on the phone, the truth is, culturally men like to feel like they are in control.
If they don’t call the next day or in the days that follow, it may be because they didn’t have time. Or that they deem it appropriate to let a week pass so as not to be seen as “stalkers”.
The same thing happens with women, because if you send a message the day after the date, you can either assume that you are a fan of control or even that your anxiety or hopelessness is too overwhelming.
It is true that you have the right to call first if you feel like it and if you want to keep in touch. But you also have to think about the future (if that’s your intention).
How to act during the first call?
A man prefers to take the initiative for cultural reasons or personal pride and although it may seem s**xist, it is good for the emerging relationship. Although he does not hold the reins of the couple, he must believe that he is “the one in charge”.
Therefore, it is better to wait a few days before calling or communicating with him. To kill time, you can do any type of activity that makes you think of something else. Don’t look at your cell phone, don’t let go of your obligations… Go about life normally and don’t worry, sooner or later he’ll call you.
If you do, don’t start with a sermon or a “why didn’t you call me” style scolding.
In the event that you can’t stand the wait and decide to call first, keep in mind when you will contact him: look for when he is not working, when he is not. at university or at the gym. For example, you can choose the night before going to sleep, it will be a pleasant surprise and you will both be calm to talk.
Your tone of voice should be kind, complicit, and very pleasant. No recriminations, complaints or reprimands. Let him explain to you what he did during those days of absence.