Romantic movies paint relationships for us as dynamics in which two people have to deal every day with the frustration of not being able to physically interact, having limited time for calls, and not knowing when they will be able to see each other in person.
This can occur in a relationship in which there is not a great physical distance, however, this scenario is more common in one in which each one is in different cities or towns, so seeing each other on a daily basis is not something that they can do to strengthen your relationship.
In this article, I am going to talk to you about how viable it is to have a long-distance relationship and what you should take into account if you have decided (or are planning to) have one.
What Are Long Distance Relationships Really Like?
“Normal” relationships in and of themselves are complex enough, but when we add the distance factor, issues such as the need for physical intimacy, insecurity, and jealousy can become unmanageable issues and turn the relationship into an ordeal.
It is not uncommon for people who accept long-distance relationships to end up spending their weekends in front of a screen, having the same interactions as always, and looking for some new way to generate meaningful contact with someone who could be thousands of miles away.
These types of relationships can be fun, exciting, and novel at first, but it takes very little time for either of you to begin to fall victim to the temptations of having romantic human and face-to-face contact.
Is infidelity much easier in a long-distance relationship?
Communication is much more difficult when the two of you are distant. Facial expressions, body postures, and everyday actions are not directly perceived, and when we only have access to sporadic text messages or video calls, misunderstandings do not take long to appear.
That is when lying becomes much easier, and being the easy way out, we can end up involved in addictive, stressful relationships that no longer have anything genuine or real.
This is how you fall into constant paranoia. We cannot give our cyber partner the bodily affection that we too are desperately craving, and we know that at any moment you could find a person who is physically close and who does.
That is why it is easier to fall into infidelity when we are in this type of relationship, especially if we do not assume that distance will be, to a large extent, one of the great obstacles that will have to be dealt with.
Why Do People Accept Long Distance Relationships?
Millions of people around the world continue to establish long-distance relationships every day and it is normal for us to wonder why they do so.
The reality is that love or the desire to experience it is such a powerful thing that the heart can even dispense with the physical presence of the other, as long as it regularly has symbolic expressions of affection, such as calls or text messages.
None of us, no matter how absurd it may seem, is exempt from falling in love with the words of a person on the other side of the globe whom we have never seen.
We cannot control that someone with whom we are in love has to undertake a long trip, nor can we give up great job opportunities in order to stay with our partner.
With all this, it still seems more sensible to choose to deal with the pain of separation or the frustration of what cannot be, than to try to juggle by chat and by phone to sustain a relationship devoid of deficiencies.
There are some people who make it and there are others who don’t. In any case, the hope of the long-awaited meeting or reunion is always at stake.
The overriding advice here is very simple. A distance relationship that does not progressively advance towards the possibility of realizing a real and permanent interaction does not make sense, it will end anyway.
On the other hand, if the attraction is such that there is a good chance that they will end up establishing a relationship in the same geographical point, then it will not be so unreasonable to invest time and energy in the remote preamble.
But the possibilities of a “happily ever after” is something that only you can determine, and always being realistic and taking into account that long-distance relationships also lend themselves to all kinds of deception. You decide if you take the risk.
Signs That Tell You That a Long Distance Relationship Can Work
They Met At Least Once
Maybe they met while they were both on vacation in Acapulco, but he lives in Colombia and you live in the United States.
If during the five or six days that they spent together they forgot the world, they had an incredible time, they fell in love very quickly and their hearts were broken when they had to say goodbye.
It could not only be a good idea to give yourself the opportunity to have a distance relationship, but it will be inevitable because of what both of you already feel since they met and interacted.
They have the possibility of seeing each other from time to time
The price of the plane tickets and the limited amount of vacations of both may prevent them from seeing each other frequently, but at least they always have a date in the future to hold on to.
Are you going to see each other at Christmas? During the summer holidays? Will either of you be able to travel to spend your birthday with the other? Without these little glimpses of hope for a reunion, long-distance relationships cannot evolve.
Either of the Two or Both Could Change Country
If neither of you is willing under any circumstances to move, there is no point in continuing the relationship at a distance. At the very least, one of the two must have the conviction to eventually leave everything behind to go chasing the “they lived happily ever after.”
Ideally, either way, you should both be willing to negotiate and have real discussions about how your life together will work out in the future.
There is Absolute Trust
One of the heaviest things in long-distance relationships is jealousy because we literally have no way of knowing what our partner is doing or not doing. If you don’t have absolute trust in her, the whole relationship will turn into paranoid torture.
They have similar life plans
It is also important that they have a solid plan behind the “move in together”.
What kind of lifestyle do you want? Do you both want to be parents? What are you willing to sacrifice to be together? All this must be clear before determining if the distance relationship really has a future.
They are Independent People with an Autonomous Profession
When both are financially independent and have a profession that they can practice anywhere, there are many opportunities for either of them to change country, without affecting their entire life too much.
They have no children or responsibilities that prevent them from being together
There are ties that cannot be overcome. If you both have children or responsibilities that you simply cannot leave behind (such as caring for sick family members), it will be difficult for you to project a future together and perhaps neither can wait that long to have a relationship in person.
The Reason They Are Separated is Important but Temporary
If they are separated due to work or study, it is a good sign, because they tend to be in transitory stages and, eventually, they will reach the goals that allow them to change their plans.
They share real things in their life
In a long-distance relationship, it is very important to be genuine and not only show what is convenient for us on the screen. When two people are really committed, even if they are miles apart, they will show the other their life as it is, without filters.
As you can see, all long-distance relationships are difficult, but there is a small percentage of them that do have a chance of success.
Analyze yours honestly and with a cool head to make an intelligent decision. Sometimes a little suffering now is better than months or even years of anxiety.
We want to meet you! What do you think of long-distance relationships? Have you been to any? Leave us your comment and I will gladly answer you.