Conflicts as a couple, believe it or not, are one of the most frequent reasons for therapeutic consultation. Although this alternative is quite normal and useful, we could also work on how to solve these problems ourselves. Obviously, there are times when professional support is very necessary to overcome conflicts, but it is not enough that we can learn and develop the ability to resolve them. It is precisely for this reason that, on this occasion, I have decided to write about this very important topic. The idea is that you can explore everything that the text offers you and, thus, put the advice into practice.
WHY DO CONFLICTS ARISE BETWEEN A COUPLE?
To begin, we will first talk about why problems arise in the middle of romantic relationships. So, as in all human relationships, there are times when we have differences. If we do not know how to deal with this aspect, it is very likely that problems will arise due to a lack of understanding. The same happens in love relationships, only, in this case, it can occur in a more intimate way. That is, conflicts can occur more often because you share more with that person you love. But everything has a beginning and, therefore, an answer to give a solution to the situation we are experiencing.
WHAT THINGS CAUSE CONFLICT BETWEEN A COUPLE?
Now, you will wonder what things motivate conflicts as a couple and cause the bond to deteriorate, keep reading and find out!
1. LACK OF ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
One of the first things that trigger conflict as a couple is the lack of assertive communication. This aspect occurs because, basically, we do not know how to speak and express our emotions correctly. That is, we easily get carried away by negative emotions and speak without thinking. We can also use hurtful words with harmful intentions, resulting in great upsets. And all this because we do not have the tools of healthy communication as a couple. For this reason, we are governed by another way of expressing ourselves that leads us towards the much dreaded common relationship problems.
2. LACK OF COMMUNICATION IN PRIVACY
Be very careful with this point, as it represents an important aspect in the balance of the link. Intimacy is the most private place that a couple has to show all that affection and love. When there are communication problems in this space, sooner or later troubles come out. Lack of empathy, individualism, routine, etc., are factors that, if we do not treat them in time, can bring dire consequences.
Obviously, other things that cause conflict as a couple are infidelities. Either because it happened once or because it is something that has been repeated; it is clear that nobody wants to be betrayed by their partner. Infidelity is something that seriously damages any relationship, much worse if nothing is done about it. In fact, many of the conflicts in a couple are due to this matter since it breaks with trust. And believe it or not, it happens more often than you think, it just doesn’t always come to light. How to detect infidelity is not an easy task, however, there are specific signs that you should not ignore because, in general, they are indicators of betrayal on the part of your boyfriend or husband.
4. ECONOMIC AFFAIRS
Also under this same line of couple conflicts, we can find economic issues. It is no secret to anyone that the economy deeply influences the relationship, especially if you share the same roof. As one does not live only on love, sooner rather than later, the imbalance and budget shortages bring displeasure. And it’s not about being interested and superficial, it’s about being aware that this factor is important.
5. LACK OF RESPECT
Another point that is of attention in couple conflicts is the lack of respect, whether verbal or physical. Either one is quite worrying because a delicate barrier has been breached. In addition, this is something that represents danger and not only conflicts as a couple, it goes further and is called violence. So it is not strange to find the lack of respect between this group of things that originate the problems within the affective bond.
Manipulation is another source of conflict in a couple that leads to the breakdown of that love. If you are aware of this action, surely you will not be comfortable and this will generate tension with your boy. Now, if you are the one manipulating and your partner notices, they may be upset about it. Rather, in the end, this will end in a great difficulty that can put a tightrope in the relationship. And it is that simply nobody wants to be managed or influenced negatively, therefore manipulation is not an option.
7. EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY
In the case of emotional dependence, we may not notice it at the beginning of the relationship, but it soon becomes known. We mainly recognize it because it begins to limit our freedom and cause discomfort to both of us. When there is discomfort in the relationship, obviously, there are conflicts and discussions, no one is at ease ! either because you are the one who has that dependency or because you feel suffocated by the dependency of the other; everything ends up being chaos that weighs on both sides.
SO HOW DO I RESOLVE CONFLICTS WITH MY PARTNER?
If you have come this far it is because you really have an interest in harmonizing the relationship. You want to love and understanding to reign again in that bond that is hanging by a thread. For this reason, you have decided to delve into this article and thus recognize the causes of conflict as a couple. Without a doubt, here you will find a route that will help you deal with the matter in a practical and efficient way. But not only that, but this will also generate a change in you as you contribute to your emotional growth. Now, without further ado, read the following recommendations carefully and work carefully in your relationship with your partner,
OWN YOURSELF AND CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS
The first thing I want to advise you is that you know the benefit of self-control and apply it daily. This way you will not do or say things without thinking or in the middle of heated situations that cloud reason. Remember that famous phrase that says “you are the master of what you keep silent and a slave to what you say”, so it is better to reflect before acting. When you take the time to envision the purpose of your actions, it is easier to correct what is wrong. If you apply it, you will save yourself a lot of regrets about those things that you do under emotions and without the help of logic.
STRENGTHEN THE THEME OF DECISIONS
It is convenient that, when you go to make a decision, you make a call to emotional intelligence and bear in mind the possible consequences, both positive and negative, of the decision in progress, even more so when it not only affects you. Remember that, once you establish an effective connection with another person, you must change your perspective and begin to include that other being in your life; so most things will have to be consensual. In this case, dialogue plays a fundamental role in reaching agreements that benefit both of them, only then will they flow in harmony! Know the healthy limits in your relationship and you will have the affinity that you dreamed of with the man you love.
PRACTICE LISTENING AND ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
Is there something more important in an emotional bond than good communication? This is one of the pillars of success in a relationship. But, what does this communicative process consist of as a couple? It’s simple, listen to the other carefully and express your feelings with transparency! It is very important that there are spaces to talk openly about the bond that unites them, about everything that they like about the other, what they don’t and what they should improve. Take your time to practice listening and give the words of love a chance, you will see the favorable results.
DEVELOP A LANGUAGE IN PRIVACY
Although intimacy is not the most essential thing in a relationship, it is definitive because both trust and complicity and synchronicity are evident just at the moment when this physical and emotional union materializes. You and your partner deserve to experience and get to know each other. Developing a unique language for meetings is one of the tasks that must be proposed; in this way, they can fully enjoy each other.
HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT AS A COUPLE: FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY!
It is no secret to anyone that all relationships go through difficult times; It is natural to disagree with the other and their actions, or simply make mistakes and hurt that special being, sometimes even without intention. In these cases, the best alternative is to breathe, take some time to reflect, after this dialogue, forgive from the heart to make amends, and continue the path-building as a couple, if that is what you want. How to forgive your partner is usually complicated, but it is necessary to understand that we are human and mistakes are also part of that humanity; Always put yourself in the place of the other!
CLARIFY YOUR IDEA OF LOVE
Love is not perfect, it is a state of consciousness that allows us to experience life in a more beautiful and profound way, which does not indicate that everything will always be rosy. If you think that love is butterflies in the stomach, smiles, kisses, and hearts always floating around, you are idealizing and romanticizing the feeling that moves the world! It is essential that you rethink the idea you have of love, especially that you live as a couple, which is full of happy moments, but also conflicts that, if they can be solved, do not affect the union that exists between that special person and you. .
LEARN TO NEGOTIATE WITH YOUR PARTNER
All people are different worlds, therefore, tolerance with the other and agreements are vital to be able to live in harmony. No matter how much you are the soul mate of your partner, there will always be situations in which both cannot fit in. Do not worry, it is normal for this to happen! Just learn to negotiate with the man you love and voila. If both are aware of the differences and know how to handle them with patience and maturity, they will not have any major conflict, on the contrary, they will strengthen the relationship! Remember that you deserve a real, complete affective bond that contributes to your personal growth, where you feel that each difficulty is an opportunity to learn from the hand of your loved one.