One day, you fell madly in love with him. A few years (months?) Later, you wonder: is love still there? Will your relationship last? To find out, just answer two small questions. This will either save you time or reassure you!
Where is this relationship going to take you? And besides, are you still really in love with each other? To answer it, you will have to start by asking yourself two other questions. In any case, this is what Leora Friedberg and Steven Stern, two professors from the University of Virginia, propose. According to them, these questions would help you to better understand your relationship and to know whether or not it is doomed to failure.
Question n ° 1: Do you feel happier in your relationship than if you were single?
Question n ° 2: How do you think your lover would answer this question?
As Dailymail reports, the experts asked 4,242 couples to answer these two questions and then asked them to try again six years later to compare the results.
Upon analysis of the responses, it appears that you will be more likely to end your union soon if you consider yourself as happy as a couple than if you were alone. At the same time, no need for an expert to analyze this answer. If the other doesn’t bring you anything more, it’s probably because it doesn’t bring you anything “special”.
The happiness of the other must go through us
In addition, the researchers found that only 41% of those surveyed were able to determine how their partner felt within this relationship. However, this lack of awareness of the well-being of others is not without consequences. Thus, as Professor Stern explains, some would tend to have high demands on their partner if they think that he is fulfilled within the couple. But like what is not necessarily the case, this discrepancy between the perception of what the other feels and reality could lead to a clash, even to a rupture.
For a relationship to thrive and last, the researchers, therefore, suggest not to push expectations of the other too far. And to conclude: “We need to feel kindness in order to give meaning (to our relationship)”.