Mutual physical attraction naturally plays a predominant role in romantic relationships. However, consciously or not, we also often give a lot of importance to the opinion carried by those around us concerning this partner that we are about to bring into our life. And this “perceived attractiveness” would offer us another perspective. But should we really take it into account?
Fortunately, the attraction is not only physical and the couple complements each other in an attempt to achieve balance. According to the words of doctor and relationship expert Paul Hokemeyer, reported by Shape , “it is typical that one of the partners is considered more attractive, either emotionally or physically”. Indeed, unless you find your perfect counterpartboth physically and mentally, there will always be points where it will surpass you and others where it is you who will take over. Besides, imagining that this alter ego exists, “if you were on the same level in all directions, things would become really boring”, believes the expert adding that “the goal of a relationship is to balance things and find harmony as a couple. ”
The influence of external judgments
And precisely, when outsiders make a judgment as to the threshold of attractiveness of one compared to the other of the partners, their opinion sometimes influences more than we think (and not always in a good way). Especially when it gives rise to resentment and jealousy, specifies the expert. Indeed, if we hear in a loop how beautiful the other is, we can start to feel rejected, inferior, put in competition with his half. “In this dynamic, the partner of the person deemed ‘attractive’ may feel invisible,” he adds.
Put inner beauty first
Obviously, it is quite possible to live a fulfilling romantic relationship even if one of the partners is considered to be clearly more “beautiful”, reassures this expert. And the best way to avoid falling into the trap of jealousy or competitiveness is to “try to see your partner as a human being, rather than as an object”.
So, if physical attraction will create an alchemy between two people, a strong bond and beautiful emotional qualities are just as essential. And if the others have something to say, for example, that you are not a very well matched couple, great good for them! “In the end, it doesn’t matter what people think. Love is a felt experience, not visible,” concludes the specialist in romantic relationships.