“After all I’ve done for you, you let me down like this today. But I want you to go to the movies with me. “It’s not uncommon for people to hear something like this in a partnership. A typical phrase and possibly a harmless example of emotional blackmail. The other person wants to push because today the emotionally manipulated person had to do something for himself and finally go back to the gym.
Torn between the desire for harmony in the relationship and his own needs, the blackmailed will decide against sports and cinema together. How do you recognize the phenomenon of emotional blackmail and what action recommendations should you, as a victim, be aware of?
Emotional blackmail: manipulation to assert one’s own interests
It’s not just about relationships. Wherever there is interpersonal interaction, emotional blackmail can occur. Whether with family, friends, or colleagues. Above all, the author wants to achieve one thing: blame you. The perpetrators are perpetrators, but they feel like victims.
Most of the time, the sender and receiver are interdependent. If you are betrayed and blackmailed about your emotional world, your counterpart will want you to feel guilty. This should make you feel obligated to do something against your own will and meet the other person’s expectations.
Emotional manipulation is a common problem in relationships. It can be used by both men and women. Each couple develops an individual form of manipulation. One of the hardest things to do is even acknowledge emotional blackmail. At the heart of this phenomenon is emotional dependence. This can also take the form of separation anxiety. There is always someone who triggers everything and someone who lets it go with them.
Those who manipulate their partner about their feelings are unable to formulate their demands clearly. He is easily offended and the opinion that he lacks in life. Emotional blackmail in a relationship becomes particularly stressful when not only are accusations instrumentalized, but threatened with far-reaching consequences: “If you break up with me, I don’t want to go on living.” The person concerned in the victim role then relies on the avoidance strategy because he wants to prevent bad tempers. Added to this is the bad conscience that suggests that she owes something to the other person.
Emotional blackmail: 5 warning signs speak in favor
- You feel guilty:
One thing in advance: Feelings of guilt are never appropriate. If you suffer from emotional manipulation, you feel guilty all the time. This is how your partner wants to impose their own will on you.
- Emotional Blackmail: You Feel Pressure
You constantly feel pressured in your relationship to have to do the right thing for your partner because he is dominant. Accusations and accusations from your partner put a strain on you and your partnership.
- You have doubts about yourself
AND are constantly compared to others. Another factor in emotional blackmail is playing on people’s primal fear of not being normal or insufficient.
- You avoid conflict
You try to please your partner to avoid bad tempers. Emotional blackmail reveals that you always give in to your partner’s wishes, even if you’d rather do something else. The authors rely on this avoidance strategy.
- Do you feel angry
Do you often get angry with your partner for no reason? Emotional blackmail in a relationship can lead to aggression and even violent fantasies because you are the one who has to let go of your needs.
3 ways to get out of emotional blackmail
If you find yourself being emotionally manipulated, the first step has already been taken. If you know there’s an imbalance in your relationship, but you can’t classify that imbalance correctly, there’s one thing you definitely shouldn’t do: be silent. Many victims bravely endure humiliation. Due to the numerous attributions of blame, victims automatically start looking to themselves for blame.
Important: talk to friends, family, and colleagues. An objective assessment of the situation often helps. Only if you talk about it will you have a chance to escape the vicious circle and avoid a breakup because of emotional blackmail. Why is it worth breaking the silence?
Get an objective opinion
Ask for help, and talk to friends and family about your relationship concerns and questions. In severe cases, you can also seek therapeutic help. Victims of emotional blackmail often blame themselves. A second or third opinion can help you address the issue.
Emotional blackmail in the relationship? improve your self-confidence
Believe in yourself again and listen to your needs. Talk about how you feel! Because everyone is responsible for their own actions. The emotional blackmailer doesn’t want to take responsibility but wants to give it back to you. Be confident and under no circumstances will you agree with your partner just so there is no stress in the relationship.
save your relationships
If you care a lot about your partner despite emotional blackmail, you should definitely try to talk about the situation. Often, the aggressor does not even realize what he is doing with his counterpart and the relationship with this behavior. Relationships can be saved if the comparison is understandable. In most cases, the uncomfortable situation can also lead to separation.
Conclusion: There are no compromises when it comes to emotional blackmail!
Better to end with horror than an endless horror. This idiom also applies to the fact that the partner is being manipulated on an emotional level. If the other person is absolutely irrational and tries to keep looking to blame you, a breakup as a result of emotional blackmail is inevitable. For your own good, you should question your established relationship structures and get an objective opinion. Talk to friends, family, and colleagues.
An objective assessment often helps. Only if you talk about it do you have a chance to escape the vicious circle and prevent separation. If your partner is insightful and solution-oriented, it may be worth working on the relationship. To do this, both parties must learn to clearly formulate and express their needs.