There are seven key questions to ask yourself before going from friends to partners to ensure that the leap is worth it.
Many courtships start from a friendship, but it is not always a good idea.
7 questions to ask yourself before going from friends to partners
Many times you become the girlfriend of a great friend, but the relationship does not work out. So in the end you are left without the courtship and without your friend. So that it does not happen to you, honestly answer these questions:
1. Is friendship worth risking?
Consider that throughout your life you will surely meet and date many people before you find the “one”.
There is a real chance that your friend is not the man of your life. That means that in the long run they will end and you will lose a boyfriend and a friend.
We are not saying that it is always a bad idea to go from friends to partners. What we want to imply is that, for it to be worth it, you have to be very sure that it is a person with whom there are possibilities of spending a long time.
Do not fool yourself into thinking that if the courtship does not work, they will continue to be friends. That is highly unlikely. Better analyze very well what you want in the future, before following the impulse of falling in love.
2. Are you equally in love with each other?
If one is more in love than the other, it is not a good idea to go from friends to partners. Even if you both like each other, when there is a lot of difference between your feelings, the relationship will most likely not work out in the long run.
You have to be sure that you like him as much as you do and that you really feel important things for him, and not just flatter his attentions.
You may even subconsciously feel that you are obligated to be his girlfriend because it is “the best you can get.” Be very careful with that!
Sure, emotions are very subjective. Unfortunately, they have not yet invented a “love meter” or tool to measure the love of two people.
You’re going to have to find out if their feelings are really old-fashioned, honestly speaking.
3. Do you really like each other or do you just don’t want to be single?
Do you want to be together? Or do they rather think that they “should” be together? Is there social pressure around you to start dating?
Think about this carefully, because often two friends start dating romantically just because there doesn’t seem to be a good reason to stop it. Obviously, if there is no love involved and they only do it out of inertia, they will end up breaking up.
The problem is that, in that time, they can get to argue and hurt, so that they can not even save the friendship.
If you are bored of being single or want to find a partner, better go out on a double date. Do not try to force between yourselves what does not exist.
4. He may be a great friend, but… will he be a great boyfriend?
Let’s imagine that at this point you have already decided that you both like each other a lot. Well! But that is not a reason for them to go from friends to partners.
He may be an excellent friend, but you are not sure that he will make a good boyfriend. Consider that many of her defects that as a friend do not bother you, as a girlfriend they will exasperate you.
Some of the things that can give you clues that he will be a bad boyfriend are:
– He is very partying and likes to go out to too many parties.
– Drink a lot or use drugs frequently.
– He’s a womanizer.
– Has been violent or rude to ex-partners.
– Tends to be very jealous or insecure.
5. Are you emotionally available?
If you decide that your friend definitely has boyfriend wood, it is time for you to analyze if he is emotionally available.
By this, we mean that he has the time and emotional resources to give you the attention that you are looking for in a relationship.
Obviously, this also means that you don’t have a crush or a friend with rights ready to give you a hard time.
In the same way, analyze if you are willing to offer attention and loyalty to the same extent as what you are going to demand.
6. Do you have compatible lifestyles?
So far so good. They like each other. He’s a great boy. And if that wasn’t enough, you’re the only woman on his radar. Perfect, but… do they have compatible lifestyles?
We can put up with a lot of things from friends because let’s face it, we don’t see them that often. But a soccer fanatic boyfriend, when you don’t like that sport at all, it can be quite a challenge.
Similarly, if you love to spend your weekends in a museum and he is very bored by those places, it is almost certain that discussions will arise.
Think that if they jump from friends to partners they will spend much more time together and that time should be spent doing things that both enjoy, without the need for either of them to sacrifice the things they like.
7. Can you seriously think about a future together?
Finally, the acid test. Visualize your life three or four years from now. Is he in it as your partner? Can you imagine your relationship evolving over time along with each other’s academic, work, and social achievements?
They may meet all the above requirements. But if you plan to move abroad when you finish college and he wants to pursue a career in national journalism, the only thing they will achieve by passing from friends to partners will be a very sad outcome.
One of two: either they will separate, even if they love each other madly to go chase their dreams, or one of them will have to give up theirs. That’s not fair to anyone.
Don’t worry, you don’t need to answer all these important questions today. Take your time, don’t rush, let things flow, and follow your instincts. He is the best advisor.