Ghosting is when a guy disappears from your life for no reason, but sometimes he decides to come back into your life, and here’s how you handle it if that happens to you.
When you hook up with a guy who disappears out of nowhere, it’s awful.
You make up a bunch of excuses to explain why this amazing guy you thought was totally into you decided he just wasn’t.
Maybe he died or maybe he moved halfway across the country and lost his phone with all his contacts.
Who knows, because when you hook up with a ghost, you never find out what happened.
That is until he decides to come back into her life with all his charm and wit, trying to start things over.
When the guy who disappeared comes back, there’s a mixture of excitement and anger.
What makes you think you’ve been sitting around waiting for him to come back all this time?
If he has a good excuse as to why he disappeared from your life, then there’s a good chance you’ll relax, but if he doesn’t offer any, it’s even more irritating.
Here are some tips on how to deal with a disappears and returns man.
1 . Discover What Happened
If the guy who disappeared comes back with no explanation and as if nothing had happened, you’ll feel the need to pressure him for answers.
After all, it’s your right to know why he just disappeared.
It’s important to give him time to explain why this happened, so don’t jump down his throat at the first sign of contact.
Something serious could have tied him up for all this time and you won’t know until he tells you.
A decent guy will offer an excuse right away so you don’t have to wonder, which will allow you to decide whether or not you want him back in your life.
But when he doesn’t have a plausible excuse, that ego-driven need to know what’s wrong with you that made him treat you that way will show its ugly face.
Instead of getting mad at the guy who disappeared and came back, wait a few days and then casually bring it up.
Asking him right away, preferably in person so he doesn’t have time to make excuses, will help you figure out what’s going on.
If he doesn’t give you an answer that you’re satisfied with, it’s best to cut things short here.
There’s no point in giving time to someone who hasn’t respected yours unless they can offer a true and apologetic excuse for why they walked away from you.
2 . Decide If There’s Still Room For Him In Your Life
If his excuse is good, you’re still single and you’re really interested in him, then you have the option to decide whether or not you want to try again.
But knowing deep down that he might disappear from you again will always be on your mind.
It’s important to take things at face value and avoid getting too involved in a relationship with someone who has let you down before.
On the other hand, you may be totally uninterested in a relationship or just have changed your feelings for him, in which case you can politely say that you are no longer interested in continuing anything with him.
Or, if you choose to go this way, you can disappear from it as well, but this is not advisable as you would not want to descend to his level.
Being a bigger person is always the best way to go when dealing with a guy who disappears.
Yes, seeing a man you like to go away sucks, but it’s not the worst thing that could happen to you, not by a long shot.
So if he’s not going to be a part of your life, let him go and move on.
3 . Make Him Work Hard For You
If you decide to give the ghost another chance, be sure to make him work for your attention much harder than he did the first time.
It may seem like a bit of a game, but that’s because you need to be sure of his intentions and feelings before you allow yourself to invest again.
Ghosting is a very tricky thing to do to a person that is almost always not to be forgiven, but if you’re the forgiving type and feel a real connection with that person, moving on isn’t always a bad idea.
That is, as long as you make him prove he’s there for the real thing and not just spending more time with you before he disappears again.
Don’t make him break his back trying to prove his love for you, but he must be willing to work hard because of his ghost-turning history.
4 . Anticipate That It Will Happen Again
While he may seem sincere and is treating you like a complete girlfriend, that doesn’t mean your past actions should be forgotten.
If he ghosted you once, there’s a decent chance he’ll do it again, even if he says he won’t.
Make sure you keep your guard up until he proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are who he wants and that he won’t let you hang again.
When you deal with the ghost and come back, it’s hard to give yourself fully to that person because of the constant fear that one day they’ll just go away.
So, if you are aware of the fact that it could happen again, you will have more control over your feelings if it happens.
5 . Don’t Hold A Grudge Because Of This
Usually, when someone disappears, it’s simply because they’re not interested.
And that’s not your fault, it just happens sometimes.
But if someone turns into a ghost and comes back, there’s a decent chance he has real feelings for you, but for one reason or another, he couldn’t handle those feelings right now.
So if the ghost in question comes back for more and you end up forgiving him and having a relationship with him, it’s important to forget about the initial disappearance.
You don’t want it to harm your relationship and cause problems later on because you can’t get over it.
If it bothers you to the point that you take it into the relationship, then he may simply be the wrong guy for you and you’ll need to start from scratch with someone you can trust that won’t disappear from you.
It all depends on how you approach the situation and the ghost and what he offers in return after returning.
Personally, I dealt with this situation and it didn’t feel right.
The guy in question ended up being a dodged bullet when he tried to get back in touch with me.
That’s not to say all the guys who disappear and come back are horrible, but it’s important that you take the time to really get to know him and realize his intentions because if you don’t, you could be haunted by the same guy twice and this is a real punch in the face.
Have you ever had to deal with a guy who disappears and comes back?
If yes, how did you deal with it?