Hatred, sorrow, denial … During a romantic separation, we go through a lot of stages before feeling fully healed. What we suspect less is that before the break also, we go through certain stages. If we recognize that her couple crosses one of them, it is therefore that our relationship is struggling and that it is very likely that she is about to switch to a point of no. -return.
Indeed, according to a study published in The Journal of College Counseling , break-ups take place in five distinct and unfortunately heartbreaking stages.
From awareness to action
The first of these steps is called pre-contemplation . At this stage, the couple is not yet thinking of breaking up, but the machine is running. Indeed, separating seems too radical and too difficult to overcome. Although far from perfect, the partners (or at least one of the two) seem to take pleasure in this routine .
The next stage is called contemplation . This second phase is marked by an awareness. You start to gamber, wondering if this relationship is right for you, if everything is working as you would like.
It then gives way to the third stage, entitled preparation . This time, you are well aware and determined to end this relationship that no longer satisfies you. You just don’t know how to do it yet. Some people linger for a long time in this stage, constantly weighing the pros and cons while waiting to find the courage to break up .
Then comes the fourth step: action . At this point, if you haven’t already broken up, it’s imminent.
Finally, the final step, the interview , sounds the death knell for the relationship. As its name suggests, the partners resume the dialogue to confront each other (in tears and frustration more often) one last time and say goodbye. Sometimes, this last phase does not really succeed, the partners finally throwing themselves into each other’s arms and off we go again. But if you overcome this stage without “diving” again, your break seems to be well and truly over .