At the start, we were not convinced. We had barely noticed it, to be completely frank. But the force of exchanges of texts, compliments, looks, smiles (and what a smile!) It must be admitted, we completely cracked! Here is one who seems to be an interested man!
We like it, see more .
But here he is more and more distant. He decreases the heat of his messages until he no longer responds to us at all. One-on-one coffee has long been forgotten. Receiving even if the proof that he is still alive seems to be something of a fantasy.
What happened? What did we do wrong? Yet we liked him !?
Thanks to this article, you will be able to concretely identify an interested man and calibrate your seduction according to his feelings.
Recognize an interested man: How do his feelings materialize?
We may well know that there are more dissimilarities between two people of the same s**x than between the group of men and that of women, it is clear that the majority of boys function differently from the majority of girls.
Genetic or educational factor? This is another debate.
Our interest – for many of us – works in an ON / OFF mode.
We hadn’t noticed it specifically. Something (a compliment, an attitude, a look…) will change the vision we have of him. Suddenly, it is embellished. We imagine it as a potential partner. The chimera is sweet, we coo it. Each of our thoughts goes to him. We want it so much!
We pay attention to each of these actions, giving them a particular elegance. Everything about him is PERFECT. We want it, more than anything. The other guys are just pale copies of the ideal that THIS man represents.
The ON button of the projection is on. And, we’re fucked up. Foutue d’Amour.
The interested man becomes, more often than not, gradually
The attraction of a man is more wavering. It sometimes starts with a real crush. And, until you share it, it will only increase.
But, the interested man does not plan . He does not imagine a future. His desire is that of possession. When he feels like you HAVE, his affection will drop like a cheese soufflé. It can be :
- at the first signs of interest that you will show
- at the first part of legs in the air
- to the evocation of your desires of commitments…
At each stage of seduction, you can completely grill yourself. The key to nurturing this desire to experience something with you is to stimulate their interest ONLY for the next step.
By wanting to go too fast ( building something at the end of the first date, for example ), you will scare away the interested man. By being too careful ( for fear of the rake, for example ), his curiosity will diminish by weariness.
In the rest of the article, we will see:
- the signs showing interest step by step
- how to position yourself to help the interested man to take the next step.
1 / How to manage the situation when an interested man begins to discover you?
As we said, when we like a man, even if we never talked to him, we tend to imagine romantic scenarios.
This is what paralyzes us to go further in seduction or which pushes us to make huge STRATEGIC MISTAKES ( like the desperate mail oscillating between reproaches and love which will undoubtedly make you pass for an obsessive hysteric ).
The first signs of interest:
- He looks at you often.
- He smiles at you.
- He’s blushing.
- He finds excuses to talk to you.
- He tries to meet you
- It teases you (on your outfit, for example).
But no, he is not in love ! Building is irrelevant. Even carnal relationships seem to him to be a distant goal. And, it is possible that he is already in a relationship.
He wants to know you . That’s all.
You don’t like him yet and that’s normal, he doesn’t know everything about you.
So let’s avoid these unnecessary, harmful, painful projections (and so on).
How to act?
- Be open to the discussions he starts. Use humor.
- Smile at him, especially if he is afraid to approach you. (And, all men can confirm it, the smile suits you.)
- Look him in the eye.
The strategy is to show him that you do not bite, that he does not risk anything to come to speak to you.
2 / Manage the feelings of an interested man before the first meeting
The first stage begins to drag on. You feel that you like him, but he still hasn’t offered you a drink.
Maybe he has someone? Maybe he is just trying to flatter his Ego? Maybe he plays the same game with all women? Basically does he really want to pass the course?
Maybe not, no. This is why at this stage of the relationship, it is useless to be exclusive. We can pick up several boys at the same time. It is a good way to avoid getting sick with the ambiguity it leaves hovering.
If the interested man does not show the signs below, you have two choices:
- continue the game of seduction, for fun, but without waiting
- stop flirting, because you have other men to whip
Signs of interest showing that he wants to have a drink with you
- He continues your conversations : you feel that he would like to know you better.
- He appreciates your humor: he laughs at your jokes, revives you, teases you.
- He inquires about the presence of a possible boyfriend (subtly or not).
- It takes your number or Facebook (favor the mobile)
- It sends you text messages (whatever their content)
- He suggests the idea of having a drink soon .
How to act?
- Keep the mystery : especially about your tastes, your desires … Kick in touch with humor. Use teasing by hiding certain aspects of your life.
- Stop insistent glances : so that he questions your interest. (Without making a mouth of three meters long, eh)
- Send few texts: Because once in front of the cup of coffee, the shyness of each will be inversely proportional to the proximity you had in virtual. So we forget the romanticism, the reproaches, the tests-to-know-if-he-wants-to-be serious, the sulks, the conflicts…
- Keep your phone practical : agree a date in a good mood.
Note: Do not try, at this stage, to know if the interested man wants a long story. Even he doesn’t know.
In short, before the first meetings, the biggest secret of seduction is to refrain from any projection. Seduce for fun, for fun. And not to get more. It would be the best way to make him flee and suffer.
3 / Manage the feelings of an interested man when you have not yet slept together
If there is ONE essential rule with men, this is it: don’t believe what a guy tells you until you have slept with him.
Some men lie for part of their legs in the air . Feeling that you must have feelings to get into the room, they will tell you what you want to hear.
As my pal Queutard explained to me – which I often talk about here – there are keywords to whisper women’s ears to undress them: commitment-couple-serious-build.
Others are sincere in their approach . They really aspire to life as a couple. They just know you too little to know if they want it WITH YOU. And even if it is now, it can change very quickly.
Many things crystallize around the first night together.
In both situations, lending credence to the reassuring words of men may result in disappointment.
And no, the waiting time does not really influence the rest of the relationship .
It is not because you have waited for the three sacrosanct appointments proving your seriousness with the guy in question that he will want to engage with you. Ultimately, you will have left him more room to know yourself, that’s all.
What really influences an interested man:
- what you give after consuming: if you offer everything (love, tenderness, loyalty, promise), there will be nothing to conquer at home
- how you manage seduction upstream and downstream: the game of seduction for a woman really begins after the first night. Don’t think the battle is over.
- the feeling : sometimes, we are simply incompatible. Admittedly, we enjoyed ourselves and we liked to hang out, but it stops there.
The only question we have to ask ourselves to know if we are going to sleep with an interested man or not is: do we want to?
The rest is superfluous. Obtaining tangible proof of love upstream is often illusory. Many men delude themselves.
Signs that an interested man wants to sleep with you
- He makes you kinos
- He compliments you .
- He promises you, tries to show his “seriousness”.
- He s**xualizes his messages (texting, emails, etc.)
- He can even talk to you about love .
- It offers evening meetings .
How to act?
Follow these tips if you feel like it . Only, avoid showing him that you are sending yourself up in the air because you are sentimentally conquered. It is still too early.
- Reject its promises : without being aggressive, laugh at it. Say you don’t need this. That he should not make promises that he is not sure to keep.
- Simply accept his compliments : he will feel that you are used to hearing them. Even if it flatters your Ego, it takes more to move you.
- S**xualize the conversation: especially by your tone of voice which can be warmer, and your Body Language which can gain in sensuality.
- Use Kino-escalation
- Play on the look: to be dressed elegantly is to forget your outfit for the benefit of your physique.
As to whether or not you should sleep on the first evening, you choose. SUH disclaims all responsibility.
4 / Manage the feelings of an interested man after the first night
There, it gets complicated! If the interested man wanted to share only one night unlike us, our Ego is bruised.
We can take revenge if he was dishonest in his approach (he makes big statements to you) AND he becomes unpleasant upon waking (distance, coldness, invitation to go home). In this case, you have my blessing. Neuter this bastard! (Metaphorically speaking, I hear, huh.)
- ” It was great this little express hit “
- ” It is not against you, it was very good, but it is not sure that I will call you back “.
- ” You know, it doesn’t matter. You were tired, that’s all. Don’t mess around for that, huh? “
If the man concerned has been clear about his expectations (or has promised nothing), you have no reason to take revenge. Just tell him you’re not going to hang on to his pants, so he has a right to smile.
Signs that an interested man wants to see you again
- He is tender upon waking
- He says he wants to see you again
- He is worried about whether it is reciprocal
- He will accompany you by car
- He sends you one or more texts within three days
- He offers you another meeting in the following week
How to act?
- No words of love, no worries, no harassment by messages, no blame
- When he raises you, concentrate your availability to review him
- Humor and lightness
The idea is that he feels things are simple with you. You don’t take your head ”.
5 / Manage the feelings of an interested man when the relationship is still unclear
Another step: you are dating, but do not yet have the status “As a couple”.
Are you his girlfriend? On the way to becoming one? A regular s**x plan?
The difficulty in this period is that we get attached. Feelings are born and the projection machine accelerates. It is complicated to stop it, if not impossible.
You might as well avoid planting yourself on the young man’s expectations.
The signs that this interested man really likes you
- You see yourself outside your respective rooms
- It gives you news every other day or two
- He takes your hand or kisses you in public
- It becomes more and more tender
- He talks about things he would like to do with you
- He hates you talking about your Ex . ( test to be consumed in moderation )
How to act?
- One out of three meetings, offer yourself an outing (cinema, concert, exhibition)
- Do not crack, do not blame him for a lack of texts or attentions
- If he takes a single step back, take two
- Get to know him, discover his tastes, don’t judge him from his past
- No words of love, no declaration, no overly romantic attentions
- Sometimes let it hang around a bit before answering a text message or don’t respond.
- If you already have something planned, never cancel a trip for it
- Do not change your pace of life: passion, friends, family for him.
- Let him discover your interests.
Again, the interested man must feel that everything is simple With you. You don’t pressure him to build. You enjoy the good times. You have your business. This man is not ALL for you.
6 / Manage the feelings of an interested man when he wants to build
Okay, you’re in a relationship. OUF! Finally ! He made a clumsy statement to you, but enough to let you know where you are.
Other questions, however, come to your mind.
How long will it last? Will he be faithful? Does he really love me? Does he love me as much as I love him? Does he want to build a real serious story with me?
The signs that an interested man wants to build something
- ” I love you “
- he wants to go on weekends with you
- he introduces his friends to you
- he presents his family to you
- when you need it, it helps you out (for the computer, a cupboard to repair)
- it drags the case s home
- he gives you little nicknames
How to act?
FINALLY! It’s time to open up to your feelings.
- Create bubbles for two, play on complicity
- Don’t talk about commitments before him
- Ditto for the famous “I love you”.
- Continue to live the life you had before you were in a relationship
- Do n’t be at his disposal
- Don’t ask yourself too many questions
The keyword to keep a man interested: patience.
For this, we must forget a little about our desires for immediate stability.
Being eaten by our projections is the best way to make an OI, to prevent us from really discovering the personality of the other, and ultimately, to miss out on the relationship.
It’s about savoring each stage of seduction.
Let’s learn to let go, without bitterness, if the gentleman decides to no longer follow us. Commitment is not the Grail of a man-woman relationship. It is just a combination like any other with its advantages and disadvantages.
Often it is healthier to have little expectation to take full advantage of the moment. And, when the guy flees, it will be easier to distance himself without suffering too much.
By keeping a cool head, you will manage seduction as well as possible and will be more likely to keep your love.
Yes, I know, easy to say.
How do you keep a man interested by your side? What are the most difficult steps for you to take?