How to Break Up With Him: The 10 Softest Ways

Ending a relationship is difficult for everyone involved.

If you want to break up with him without hurting him too much, here’s how to end a relationship with your boyfriend the best way.

Even when you no longer want to move on with someone and are looking for other avenues, hurting someone who is liking you can cause you pain too.

Yes, it’s hard to feel bad for the person you’re breaking up with, but you’ll usually care about their feelings and don’t want to see them suffer.

How to Break Up With Him…

Start off very gently.

Some women think starting a really big fight is the best way to start breaking up with a man because it’s easier to say you don’t want anything more when you’re angry.

However, this only causes more pain in the end and no one wants that.

Men tend to use anger as a foreground emotion.

Especially before sadness turns to tears.

If you want to avoid drama and learn how to break up with it in the best way, these are the best ways to do it.

Just remember, everyone is different and everyone takes bad news differently.

1. Don’t Start A Fight First.

Starting a fight as a way of transitioning to ending the relationship is only going to make things that much worse.

Of course, you may find that it will be much easier to break up with someone when you are angry with them because fighting will eliminate the pain.

But that’s not right.

This is especially wrong if the reason you are fighting has nothing to do with why you ended the relationship.

You will only make him nervous. And after making him nervous you throw a bomb that will cause him pain.

That’s a recipe for disaster.

2. Finish In Person.

Gone are the days when people broke up over the phone or text message.

You need to do this personally if you have the slightest bit of respect for him, and also for yourself.

Breaking up with him in person will give him and you the opportunity to dissolve thoughts and feelings as well.

Also, breaking up over the phone or via text message doesn’t give you enough time to explain how you’re feeling, and it doesn’t even show him how you feel.

If you want to break up with him in a nice way, do it in person.

3. Make Time for a Long Discussion.

Don’t break up with him when you only have 10 minutes before you need to go to work or have some other important commitment.

It’s best to set aside an entire afternoon to listen to the cries, fits, and all the drama that comes when you drop the bomb.

It’s disrespectful to break news as important as this and run out of the room without giving the person the time they need to deal with the news and ask questions.

4. Don’t Blame Him In Any Way.

Pointing fingers is definitely the wrong way to break up with a man.

Even if he starts blaming you or says you’re the one who’s not happy in the relationship, never say it’s his fault because that’s what causes most of the pain.

Never use the old “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, but this is what you basically need to convey without using that tiresome phrase.

Talk about your unhappiness and your desires for change and wanting different things.

He will feel less pain this way.

At the end of the day—if he really cares about you—he’ll just want to see you happy.

5. Don’t Rehearse—Get to the Point.

Don’t prepare the news that you’re going to break up with him with a long boring rant about how people his age need to explore life more and a lot more bullshit he doesn’t care about.

Breaking up with him in the best way means getting straight to the point.

It’s always best to be open and honest and say straight to the face that you want to break up.

This takes all the guesswork out of the speech you are giving.

This will also lessen his anxiety.

6. Have a specific reason and don’t deviate from the main reason.

He will want an explanation of why you want to break up, which is normal and fair in a breakup.

However, don’t give him 20 different things that you think are wrong and that is bothering him, but also don’t give him a very vague reason that doesn’t make any sense.

Saying you’re not happy is a good reason to break up with someone, but he wants more than that.

That way you give him a better closure than just the broad reason.

Let his imagination fill in the rest.

Even if he doesn’t accept the reason at first, stick with him.

7. Be Sensitive.

He’s going to get hurt.

This feeling can manifest in many ways or emotions, so be sensitive and respect his reactions.

If he starts yelling and gets angry, try not to raise your voice, I’ll react negatively.

It’s best to just show him that you’re sorry and that you’re there for whatever he needs.

Breaking up with a man and ignoring his feelings or showing that you don’t care is a quick way to make him angry and hurt even more.

To break up with him in a gentle way, put yourself in his shoes and try to understand how he’s feeling.

8. Ask Him How He Feels About Your Motives.

It might seem like a bad idea to ask him what he thinks about your reason for being separated from him, but stop and think for a moment.

If you ask him how he’s feeling about the reason, it will get him thinking from your perspective.

He can understand your situation and sometimes even agree that separate ways is the best solution.

If not, at least you’ve given him a chance to tell you how he feels, and that’s important to help him recover in the future.

9. Don’t Say You Can Be Friends.

At least not at first.

While he may want to keep in touch and want you around, it will only hurt him more and it may take him longer to move on.

Remaining friends may seem like a good idea, but it really isn’t.

If he asks if he can still be your friend, just say “maybe one day”.

Explain that you think it’s best to spend some time apart to sort out your feelings, and after it’s all over you can be friends.

This will give him a sense of relief without giving him false hope.

10. Let Him Feel Hurt.

This is the most important thing you need to do to break up with him in the best way.

Let him get hurt.

He will be angry, sad, resentful, and will feel a multitude of negative feelings and emotions.

However, you need to let him feel these things without interfering.

This means that you need to cut off all forms of contact with him for a while until you pass the separation phase.


Breaking up with someone is never easy — it’s not easy for both sides.

If you want to make the separation process smoother and easier for him, follow these ten ways to break up with him.

These are the best ways to make the transition easier for everyone.