You met this beautiful woman, who you now regularly write and speak with or even have great dates with. You get along great and you’re about to fall in love with her. And yet it’s terribly complicated: she doesn’t want a relationship, but she keeps contacting you and showing you that she likes you or has feelings and might be in love too.
For us men, it is clear: this behavior is not logical. Their conflicting signals are driving you crazy. You’re wondering why the hell doesn’t she want a relationship even though she shows interest in you. In this blog article, I’ll tell you the possible reasons and give you some tips on what you can do to win women’s hearts anyway.
Why doesn’t she want a relationship – despite the interest?
Flirting experts and communication coaches speak of “mixed signals”: a woman (or a man) says one thing and behaves completely differently. Words, visible signs of feelings (for example, laughing in front of her) and actions do not go together.
It’s complicated I know. It annoys you and makes you wonder for hours about what you are doing. Therefore, I would like to first explain to you the most important female behaviors that seem so illogical to us men.
She doesn’t want a relationship but she keeps calling
I hear this a lot from men: The woman doesn’t want a relationship but keeps contacting me via WhatsApp or over the phone. Conversations are going great, and you guys have a lot of fun together… yet it still seems to somehow hold you back and let you starve to death in your outstretched arm. Even when you find yourself on a date, you feel like you’re not really getting closer to her.
This could be one of the signs that she just wants friendship now. Perhaps she just values you as a good friend with whom you can walk around the house and have a good time. Or maybe you’re the “good friend” in an emergency that a woman calls when the leaky faucet needs fixing or the new shelf needs to be put in.
Less contact sometimes means more…
If she is constantly in touch and looking for contact, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she wants more from you and has feelings for you. Quite the contrary: most women who are really interested want to be conquered and that’s why they leave the first step to the man.
She doesn’t want a relationship right now, she’s not ready yet
“Relationship” is a difficult word for many men and women, with huge alarm bells ringing in their heads. For most people, a partnership means not only closeness and togetherness but also strenuous obligations and the loss of freedom. If you’ve ever visited your future in-laws or had to pick up your girlfriend from the train station in the pouring rain at night, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
So it could very well be that she is not ready for a relationship right now and therefore doesn’t want to be with you. Maybe she just has to get over her new split from her ex-boyfriend or, as a happily single, she wants to let off some steam at the parties of this world before starting something “serious” again.
Does she like you but not in love with you?
Many men hear the phrase “ I’m not ready / I don’t want a relationship right now ” when they reveal their feelings. And indeed, your justification may also apply, as I have just explained to you. But it could also be that the woman doesn’t find you attractive enough and just uses that explanation as an excuse not to hurt you.
Why is she doing this? Remember, women want to create as little friction as possible on these issues and avoid stress with men. Therefore, instead of giving you an honest answer and telling the truth that she doesn’t like you, she prefers to blame it on her unwillingness to relate to herself. That’s why she can say that she’s “not ready right now” for a partnership.
Don’t you want to destroy the “good friendship”?
Another excuse is that she doesn’t want a relationship because friendship is more valuable to her and she doesn’t want to destroy this good relationship. Now let’s face it: do you really think that if a Brad Pitt or George Clooney came along, she would say the same thing? What person is satisfied with a friendship when he has the chance of great love?
She has feelings/loves you but doesn’t want a relationship
This is one of the things we men will never understand: even if she has feelings and says she loves you, she still doesn’t want a relationship. How is this possible? Well, she might be afraid of something – a fear so great that it surpasses being in love. What’s the point of all this?
The reasons can be very different. Maybe she had bad experiences in her last partnership, hasn’t been able to build enough trust in you yet, or is afraid of any “obligations” that might overwhelm her. A lot of people don’t get together because their homes are too far away, because they don’t want to have long-distance relationships. Either she suddenly met another man or her ex-boyfriend got in touch again… who knows.
If you’ve known each other for a long time, she may also be worried that your good relationship with an “official relationship” will change overnight, so to speak.
Conquering a Woman Who Doesn’t Want a Relationship: Here’s How!
Before knowing what to do next, you first need to find out the real reasons why she doesn’t want a relationship. But don’t just listen to his explanations or justifications (beware of lazy excuses!), but above all, pay attention to his flirting signals. According to Lucas from the Metaforando channel: “ The tongue can lie, the body never.
Based on her body language, you can tell if she really has feelings for you or if she likes you but just wants friendship. In the end, there are only 3 possibilities WHY she doesn’t want a relationship with you:
1. She only sees you as a good friend and wants to befriend you.
2. She still isn’t sure if you are the right person for her.
3. She has feelings and loves you but isn’t ready for a relationship right now.
With the above tips, you should find out what’s going on with the woman and why she doesn’t want a permanent partnership. Here are my tips on how you can still win her heart.
Turn good friendship into love
Us men find it really hard to be just a good friend even if you are in love. In another article, I will explain in detail how you can get out of the famous friend zone and still conquer the woman. Two things are particularly important here:
If you have been very good to her up until now, you should postpone your submissive behavior towards her. You don’t have to do her favors, big and small, all the time in hopes of winning her heart. Because with that you get the exact opposite and end up on the buddy rail. Women find men who say “yes” to everything very annoying.
The second problem is that most men hide their true feelings and don’t even openly show the woman that they like them for fear of being thrown out. So go offensive in flirting with compliments.
Avoid the stimulus word “relationship” when getting to know each other
A wise philosopher I met over a glass of wine in the pub once said to me, “Words create reality.” This also applies to the partnership area. What do I mean by this? Let me explain this to you:
As mentioned earlier, an alarm bell flashing red goes off in many women’s heads when they hear the word “relationship.” A real word of encouragement. It feels like a “contract” with a lot of obligations and the loss of freedom associated with it.
This is an obstacle that scares many people. They fear that they will not be able to meet the high expectations that society places on such a model and that they will be forced to wear a tight corset that will cut off their breath. But: Do you still have to call what’s between you a “relationship”?
A simple tip: don’t name it all! Don’t make demands and expectations! Calm down… Just enjoy time with the woman and meet her on a date. If you avoid the word relationship, then you will not be able to scare your “girlfriend” and take too much pressure out of the kettle.
Conquering the woman in a charming way without harassing her
Again to the stimulus word “relationship”: how is it that this expression hangs in the air with so many couples like a deadly sword that can fall at any moment to destroy the bond? This is simply because many men who meet women will at some point say things like:
- I want to have a relationship with you!
- Is this a relationship between us?
- Why don’t you want a relationship, what’s missing?
As a result, the woman feels pressured and initially withdraws. So, avoid this mistake most men make and give the lady the freedom she needs. Many boys believe that they can fight for a woman’s love with an imploring and unambiguous offers. By doing this, you achieve the exact opposite: you put your loved one on the run.
Put aside the fear of loss instead of asking about a relationship
The reason for this desire, begging, and attachment on the part of men is obvious. They think they have to seal the bag by sticking the word “partnership” on a box as a label. By the way, I used to think: ” Once I have a woman in a serious relationship, she is mine and she can’t run away or find other men anymore “.
But this is a fatal error! A firm bond between a man and a woman is ONLY created through emotions, never through the mere definition of a “relationship”! Because if the partner is unhappy, she will leave him in a serious relationship and even a long-term marriage. And how often do you hear that wives cheat with empty lives?
Behind this deceitful behavior of us, men are the ingrained fear of loss, raging jealousy, and lack of self-confidence. You have to learn to let go of the reins, trust your attractiveness as a man and make your girlfriend really happy so that she wants to stay by your side even without that official “relationship pact” and marriage contract.
When a woman isn’t really ready for a relationship
Of course, the rejection of a partnership may also have nothing to do with you. Perhaps she had bad experiences in her last relationship (possibly even with violence), she lives far away from you and doesn’t want a long-distance relationship, she met another man or is still in touch with her ex-boyfriend.
Then you have no choice but to wait until it’s ready. The following also applies at this stage: Show understanding of her situation, flirt with her affectionately, but don’t pressure her! Otherwise, she will lose confidence and keep her distance.
If she really has feelings, likes you, and you’re more than a good friend to her, she’ll get involved with you once the time is right. Believe me!