Like him vs. like the idea of having him
Truth be told, one can really get confused at times as to whether she really likes a guy or is it simply because she feels lonely and wants to put up with a guy. Emotional entanglement is bad, and it happens when you give your heart to someone before defining the values and priorities of a relationship.
It is compared to going to a large supermarket with many dollars in your pocket but without an exact list of what to buy. If you’re not careful, you may not get value for your money in the end because you could end up buying so many things that you don’t really need.
Of course, as women, we are mostly emotional and we love having a guy that we can call our own. In most cases, we can almost tell if a particular guy is our type or not; But in some cases, we get confused as to the authenticity of our feelings and those of the boy who attracts us. The big question when we have that boy in our life who has a hard time swallowing and vomiting at the same time is “Do I really like him?”
Most of the time, these look like part devils and part angels to us, but their so-called angelic parts seem so alluring that we want to turn a blind eye to their other sides. Hmnn, that’s understandable but it can be very risky. That is because our hearts are too delicate to play with. Love is not and should not be an experiment. It is a decision as much as a feeling.
So before making a love decision just because of your possibly temporary feelings, it is good to undergo self-examination and assess what your true feeling is. Love is a questionnaire that only you can answer yourself. Someone else cannot answer the questionnaire for you. As such, what we would be doing here is giving you advice on how to test yourself with this “quiz” so you don’t regret it later. So, we’ll start by highlighting a few signs that you really like him.
If you like him…
1. He represents your ideal husband
Yes, we know that we are not talking about marriage here; But can you take some time and answer this questionnaire? If there is a decree right now that converts all the men you seem to be confused with, whether your husband likes it or not, would you be happy to have him as your husband?
While you think you are honest with your self-assessment, if yes, you definitely like it. However, if there are doubts one way or another that you consider too important to ignore, then there is no doubt that you just like the idea of him. It better be that way.
The point is simple; There’s no point dating a guy you know can’t be your husband. It is absolutely a waste of time. Just keep enjoying the “idea of him” and don’t step into a coffin in an attempt to get attention.
2. You don’t worry about submitting to their judgment
Now here’s another test to show that you really like it; If he has an unpopular belief about your career, family, love, or any other topic, do you still see through your vision and think he must have a reason for your position? If so, you definitely like this guy.
A guy who likes the idea would fly out of his mind more easily when his ideas and ideals contradict those that are popular or considered realistic by society. It takes more than being alone and craving attention to believe in these guys.
3. You look sad without him
If your closeness to him has reached a level where you seem to fear that he will separate from you, what does that tell you? Of course, you want more than just their attention. You most likely like it. While it’s true that anyone can seem like they meet this requirement, only a guy you really like would make your heart gasp when you think of a possible separation between the two of you.
A common litmus test for love is to see if you can live without a partner or you can only live with them. Get the point right; There are many people we can live with, play with, eat with, or associate with, but only a few of them have gained such an impressive place in our hearts that we feel doomed to lose them. These are the ones we really like.
4. You agree that he knows your secrets
By the time you start to feel comfortable telling the guy things you’d think twice about even saying to your friends, he’s gone beyond liking the idea of him. You are quite interested in him.
Do you know why? That’s because no matter how lonely you feel, you would still find it embarrassing or unsafe to talk about certain things in your life with someone you are not deeply in love with. If all you want from them is just their attention, chances are you are hiding some things from them.
5. It’s hard to get him out of your mind
This may not be a separate point to seal the presentation that pleases you. He may be a cool, generous, eastern guy, and those traits are what keep you drawn to him. But if you’ve separately tried to get it out of your mind or avoid it but it doesn’t seem like it’s working, honey, it’s good that you agree that you like that guy.
Chances are, you’re connected to him more than the usual attention-seeking that most women crave. Love can be devastating at times, and the fact that you can’t seem to forget it no matter how hard you struggle means that you like it more than the mere idea of it; do you really like it.
You only like the idea of having him if …
1. His absence does not move you much
It’s just an idea of him that you like if once you lose sight of him, you can get him out of your mind. That is, you are only glued to it when it is within your reach. If any effort that requires you to sacrifice your comfort to achieve it is probably not welcome by you, that should indicate to him that your affection for him is not deep enough.
If you really like a boy and consider him a perfect man for you, then, you would not consider any sacrifice too great to achieve. The fact that you can easily forget about him with the least effort suggests that you just like the idea of him.
2. You don’t feel totally comfortable with him
So today you want him, tomorrow you see your closeness to him as possibly a mistake? The reason is, he’s not really your type. There is something in him that is not going well for you and your spiritual self is signaling you to take note.
In these types of situations, it is best to prevent yourself from committing too much to him. Well, it may seem like the boy likes you, and you’re thinking of giving him a try; But then, the mere fact that you have some reservations about him should make you reconsider your position.
3. He is not enough for you
The guy you really like seems to be your world and everything. You would hardly see him deficient in something or area. Of course, the type is not perfect; but you’d see it as such because it’s not just the idea of him that you like, you actually like it too.
On the contrary, if you only like the idea of him, there would be some needs of yours that he would not be fulfilling. In fact, the more he tries to satisfy you, the more you seem to be dissatisfied. You simply need more than he can offer.
4. You don’t mind not chatting with him for a week
So let’s say you only feel your intense desire for him when you’re feeling lonely or going through a disturbing phase of your life, he’s probably more of an older brother or counselor to you than a guy you really like and love. be. The boy you like would not only be a counselor but also your best friend.
As such, as a sign that it’s just the idea of him that you like, you’ll find it easy to go days without texting or even calling him. Of course, this does not mean that you no longer take him into account, but because your instinct sees him as a friend or an accomplice of some kind.
Final thought
Surely there is a difference between simply liking someone’s idea of having a boyfriend and liking a person. One is usually fantastic and short-lived, the other may take time, but is long-lasting. When you really like a guy, you have less to worry about him. But if what you like is only the idea of him, you will not be settled in your mind regarding him.
When making a decision that affects your whole being like this, you need to consider and reconsider your feelings. Not everyone you like is good for you. Some people are better at being friends, while others are good at being counselors. As such, it would be nice to listen to your inner self and follow your gut.
Honestly, if you listen to yourself, you can reasonably conclude if it is just the idea of him that you like, or if you really like it. Hopefully some of the highlights in this article will help you clarify what your true feeling is. Remember that feelings can be misleading and unstable; So, walk with facts.
