8) Talk about your relationship problems
It is not your fault that your partner cheats on you. You didn’t do anything wrong and you certainly didn’t deserve what happened.
But it is worth considering why your partner was unfaithful to you. Perhaps the relationship was not as strong as you thought.
Beyond infidelity, what are the problems you face as a couple?
Are these issues in the area of intimacy, bonding, and communication?
Don’t blame each other, or refuse to acknowledge that you both have your own problems. Better talk and work as a team to improve all the points you consider necessary.
9) Communicate regularly
In order for him to rebuild your trust, you will need to talk about everything honestly. In addition to continuing to talk, while you work on the aftermath that infidelity left you.
If either partner shuts down and refuses to talk, the relationship won’t work, no matter how much you want to fix it.
Take some time during the week to talk and have an open dialogue about your needs and feelings. By planning these, it will be much easier for them to carry them out.
10) Make the necessary changes
The reality is that when infidelity occurs, the old relationship ceases to exist.
You must have the determination to move forward, instead of dwelling on the past. This can be a real challenge.
Identify the reasons why the infidelity occurred. Then, make the necessary changes to prevent them from happening again.
Be more intentional about forgiving your partner. Set new standards and pay more attention to your thoughts and feelings, to achieve a healthy and balanced relationship.
To correct mistakes, you must do things differently and find better ways to build your relationship.
Go on more dates and have weekly “chats” to improve communication. Join couple bonding activities.
These small changes in your dynamic as a couple can make big changes in your relationship.
11) Share the pain with your loved ones
Infidelity can be a lonely experience for the person who was cheated on.
Although you can benefit from working on your inner self, you must reject the urge to withdraw from the world. It is important that you also learn to lean on others.
Opening up to trusted friends and family can help you deal with the situation. Additionally, it will remind you that you are loved and cared for by other people as well.
Even if you’re not ready to talk about it, it’s good to connect with people who value you, for your self-esteem and recovery.
You can also talk to a therapist for personalized guidance. When you have to go through these very difficult situations in life, one can feel paralyzed and not know what is the best thing to do next. It is in these cases that choosing a psychologist can be a very good idea.
Of course, it’s not a good idea to go crazy and expose your partner on social media.
Publicly shaming your partner will look bad and show a lack of maturity on your part, which will not help you.
In addition, you will expose it to outside opinions, which they do not need at the moment.
It’s much healthier to talk to someone in private.
12) Work back on your friendship as a couple
In addition to rebuilding the romantic relationship, it is important to rediscover each other as friends.
When you start out as someone’s friend, you try to cultivate trust and respect.
This is exactly what you need right now.
Imagine that you press a button to restart the relationship. Although it seems strange, it helps to start your connection again.
Take the time to get to know each other in new ways, go on dates, and ask each other questions.
Essentially, you need to reform your bond and start a new relationship.
13) Accept that rebuilding your trust will take time
Betrayal is the most damaging part of any affair because it destroys trust. This is the most basic foundation of a love relationship.
A cheating partner may want his partner to just “get over it” and immediately trust him again. It doesn’t work that way.
People who were deceived struggle to know what is real.
So rebuilding trust is a long process, one that can only work through accountability, patience, and honest communication.
The couples who give each other enough time to heal are the ones who ultimately stay together.
Sticking to agreed-upon rules, schedules, and plans can help put the couple at ease and rebuild lost trust.
14) Take care
Self-reflection is helpful and essential after a cheat. Especially, because you can learn from your mistakes.
However, you should not take responsibility or obsess over what happened, because it is not your fault.
You are not responsible for the actions and choices of your partner. So harsh self-criticism won’t help. It can even delay your recovery and make it harder to get over the infidelity.
When dealing with a life-changing issue, practicing self-love and self-care is essential.
Take it easy and take care of your needs first. Eat well, get enough rest, and exercise more.
If possible, invest time in hobbies that make you happy, to fill your days in a positive way.
Remember, your identity is not centered on your partner. You are enough.
Is there hope of staying together after infidelity?
As long as humans are involved, there will always be a gray area when it comes to infidelity.
Neither party is totally innocent or completely guilty. Mistakes, even catastrophic ones, are inevitable because no one is perfect.
Instead of wanting to be in a different relationship, people having an affair are often looking for an element, which is missing in their relationship.
They want the relationship itself to be different because it has changed over time.
Human needs also change. A cheating partner may be wanting more validation, connection, affection, nurturing, intimacy, novelty, autonomy, or power in the relationship.
While there is no excuse for cheating on your partner, it is important to understand why the affair occurred.
You have to find and repair those cracks, which allowed someone else to come through the relationship.
Another consequence of this is that after the cheating occurs, your relationship will never be the same again.
Even if you and your partner can recover, the cheating has already complicated what you had.
The person who was cheated would feel bitter disappointment, while the one who cheated would feel guilty.
This combination makes it difficult for both parties to stay in the same room. Not to mention, communicate what happened, forgive, and make amends.
It takes time to deal with these feelings, and they need to be dealt with. Otherwise, they can spill over into potential future relationships, creating a lasting impact on your emotional and romantic life.
Signs that it may be time to move on
Because infidelity is difficult to overcome, very few couples manage to rebuild their relationship so that it continues.
Most couples who experience the consequences of infidelity break up immediately. Others may try to make it work but fail.
If you were the aggrieved person, you are probably wondering whether or not you should leave after discovering that your partner cheated on you.
Ultimately, you are the only person who can make that decision.
Moving forward, together
Moving on after infidelity won’t work if one party tries to pretend everything is the same. That they just need to return the relationship to its original state.
Something went wrong with the relationship before. So you can only move forward by letting go of what wasn’t working and fixing whatever problems they have.
Essentially, moving forward after one party has cheated on the other gives you the opportunity to recreate the dynamics of your relationship.
If done correctly, each party will leave the experience with a better sense of who they are and what they want.
Although the relationship will never be the same as before, it does not mean that it cannot be stronger.
As long as both people in the relationship commit to putting in the effort, they can survive and grow together again.