When you’re trying to get a guy’s attention because you’re attracted to him… it’s frustrating, isn’t it?
When you don’t want to, all the scary guys seem to pay attention to you…
When you want to try it out with a guy you really like, it feels like you’re invisible to him.
Has this ever happened to you?
Well, fear not: that won’t be a problem anymore, you beautiful, attractive, single!
Why can’t I get a man’s attention?
You are in love. Whether it’s a guy you’ve known for months as part of your group of friends or a man you flirt with at the bar, that person you really want to get attention for.
It’s just… you’re not bold and sassy, so you’re not comfortable just walking up and introducing yourself and saying you like him.
So what can you do?
You know I’m not here to give you any little advice, like flip your hair around or get so drunk I can’t help but notice you.
I’ve worked with thousands of women to help them find the right guys and I can help you learn how to get a guy’s attention the right way.
3 Mistakes to Avoid When Trying to Get a Guy’s Attention
You’re not a teenager, so there’s no way you can approach a man!
Before we get into the really easy ways to get a guy’s attention, I want to address some common mistakes some women make when trying to do it.
Mistake #1: Attention ≠ Attraction
Just because you’re getting his attention doesn’t mean he’s actually going to be attracted to you.
It’s very easy to get a guy’s attention, but that in no way guarantees that he’ll want to go out with you. Just so you are aware. Once you have his attention, you’ll really want to see what his reaction is when he sees you. Does he smile at every word or is he more busy checking his phone than talking to you? The sharper your observation skills, the less time you spend with the wrong man.
Mistake #2: Being immature
This is more common in younger women, but believe me: women of all ages are guilty of this mistake.
When you purposely make yourself jealous, or worse, ask your friend to tell him that you like him…
…you’re acting like you’re in high school. You’re not. There are better and more valuable ways to get your attention.
Mistake #3: Not knowing what to do with his attention
So you’ve caught his eye… now what? If you’re new to the dating game, you might be insecure about flirting or expressing your interest. It will take practice, but you can do it!
First, find out if he’s single, straight, and interested. Usually, after a few minutes of conversation, you can deduce this. Obviously, look for a wedding ring, but also keep an eye out for a potential partner (female or male) who might be coming back to win back your partner!
Continue the conversation as soon as you get his attention and make it clear that you’re not just being naturally friendly (you’re being flirtatiously friendly!).
8 ways to get a man’s attention
Now that you know the mistakes to avoid, add these simple tips to your flirting plan and you’ll be on your way to finding the right man.
1. Exude high energy and positive body language when you are around him
Think about the men you hang out with. Who stands out: the shy guy who always stays in the corner or the man who smiles and talks to everyone in the room? Positive energy and body language are extremely attractive and are sure to grab your attention.
In a recent study conducted by speed daters, they found that expansive body language (open gestures like uncrossed arms or a smile) was significantly more attractive than closed body language (arms crossed, facing away from a person).
I can personally attest to this: when I coached men on how to go out and flirt, I noticed that we were looking for women with open body language when we were in a bar.
Because they were more likely to talk to my clients!
2. Add him on social media
I remember years ago (when I was single), I was at a party with a lot of people. When I got home, I saw that a woman I had talked to that night had added me as a friend on Facebook.
I thought, “Hmm, that’s a good sign!”
It’s a little nudge to get the attention of a man you’re interested in… without any serious risk of rejection.
He doesn’t know: maybe you’re friends with everyone you meet on Facebook!
But if he’s interested, that small act of befriending him could result in the two of you texting…and who knows? Go out on a date!
So don’t forget to leverage social media – be it Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat – as part of your plan to get a guy’s attention.
3. Be creative
As I said at the beginning, Elfster is a Secret Santa Generator where family or friends draw names and exchange gifts anonymously.
But here’s a nice thing about Elfster: you can set him up so that he ends up being your Secret Santa (if he’s in the group of friends you’re exchanging gifts with).
This is where it gets tricky: he automatically gets to know you better because he’s trying to buy you a gift. You answer questions on Elfster to help your secret friend (the guy you like) know your preferences, like favorite color, restaurant, TV show.
When he buys you a gift, he’ll know you better than the last guy you went out with!
Alternatively, you can set it to be your secret friend…regardless, gifts are being exchanged between you and your crush, which is a great icebreaker for a relationship.
And hey…. if his love language is “Receiving gifts”, then you are in a good place!
4. Flirt with him
Be seductive and fabulous!
Look how interesting: in an effort to understand the concept of flirting, Dr. Monica Moore, a psychologist at Webster University in St. Louis, conducted research on flirting techniques used where people go to meet, such as in restaurants.
She found that it wasn’t necessarily the prettiest people who were approached, but rather the ones who communicated safely and who were available to flirt.
So, even if you don’t think you’re the hottest woman in the room, realize that just signaling your interest in someone gets you a lot of the process.
5. Break through the touch barrier
When you’re talking to your crush, even the slightest touch will show that you want something more than just a friendship or a professional relationship. Even a light touch on his arm or shoulder will get his attention and make him think of you in a different (and attractive) way.
In research published in the book “ Close Relationships ,” written by Pamela Regan, a professor of psychology at California State University, she found that the touches that best communicated romantic attraction were: a gentle touch on the face, a touch around the shoulder, or a touch. waist and a soft touch on the forearm.
6. Pay attention to the people he is with
While you might assume that the best way to get a guy’s attention is to focus on him, sometimes focusing on the people around you is a better strategy.
You like the hot blonde guy at the bar, and he’s there with a friend. You know from experience that your friend would probably feel left out if you ignored him and talked to the blonde; therefore, focus on the friend first.
This entails a few things: First, it puts your friend at ease, realizing that you’re not there to push him to talk to your hot friend.
And second, it contributes to a group interaction. Yes, you’re there to meet him, but there’s no reason why you can’t meet your friend at the same time. All are included.
And if you make a good impression on both of them, they might buy you a drink or invite you to the next stop on their night out.
7. Take note of something he says on social media
Social media is great for information gathering: you can learn a lot about a person by paying attention to what they post.
From there, if you want to get a guy’s attention, you can comment on a post he wrote or talk about that post when you see him if he’s in your social circle.
Let’s say he posts a picture of his football team winning a local championship. Now you know he likes football… and he’s a winner! This is a great conversation starter for the next time you see him, and it shows him that you’re paying attention to him… so maybe he should do the same for you!
8. Show your natural talents
Show what you’ve got! Let your talents shine.
Sometimes getting a man’s attention is as easy as being yourself. Let’s say you’re interested in someone you’ve met through a professional networking group.
You’re very good at public speaking, so offer to speak at the next event. He’ll see you as an experienced and confident woman… and who doesn’t want one of those by his side?
Or, let’s say you’re at a salsa club and you happen to know a dance floor well. Just dance with any partner and make sure he’s watching.
Once you get a guy’s attention, regardless of the outcome, you’ll have more confidence to do the same in the future.
In no time, you will attract and attract men’s attention without even trying!
Something happens when you manage to get someone’s attention; you feel good about yourself and lessen your efforts.
You’ll quickly know how to flirt, touch, or say the right thing to make a man look at you a second time from a romantic angle.